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Junsu woke up to the bumping of the little truck and startled, stood stiff, as he tried to understand the situation. He heard a voice coming from the driver’s seat:

“Sorry. We hit a hole.”

“Where are we?”

Asked from the pick-up, where he could sleep, but it wasn’t as near comfortable as a bed would be.

He had never seen the sky so wide, and never breathed such clean air. Greenery was everywhere, and he hadn’t meet too many people either, but the adventure was priceless for a man in his twenties.

“Boy, I think we’re there.”

“Eh? Jeongmal yo?”

He jumped off the pick-up with his backpack and shook the dust off his trousers, approaching the driver’s window.

“Old man…”

Some cotton clouds crossed the sky, over the river, as the two man talked.

“You are a ‘recovered’ person?”

“Yeah.”- he chuckled, nervously.- “Is it weird?”

“At all. Nowadays, everyone knows someone who has been ‘recovered’.”

Reassured him. He was a kind old man, who offered to give him a ride when he needed it the most.

“They all seem a bit lost at the beginning.”

The driver looked at Junsu from head to toes, as if judging him.

“Are you sure you can get there by your own?”

Junsu laughed at the old man underestimating his cleverness.

“Eeh… I think…”

“Here, take it.”

Pulling a folded paper out of the glove box, he handed it over to Junsu. He shook it and the sheet unfolded, revealing a map of the region.

“Stick to the main road and you’ll get there in no time.”

He pointed out the read line that crossed the paper.

“Thanks for bringing me here, old man.”

“You’re welcome, boy.”

He waved as the engine roared and the little truck gained speed. Junsu waved back, at the distance.

“Bye~ ”

 

That night it rained so hard, he had to look for shelter under a big rock alongside the main road. Sitting there, alone and wet, he heard nothing but the rain drops, hitting the ground with no mercy. The pitter patter roared far away from his thoughts when some familiar memories came streaming down his head. His eyes were lost in some point, in the middle of the rain, for the night brought not only water. He repressed the memories and taking his backpack, he placed it next to him and used it as a pillow.

“See you tomorrow…”

He said, half-heartedly, and waited the laughs that never came. He wondered if he’d be able to sleep with all that noise.

The pitter patter was his only companion, when the cold hit. He had no more clothes he could put on, so he shrunk as much as he could, the constant sound of the rain annoying his ears.

He could only dream with the annoying noise. It was like a whisper multiplied by hundreds, and then thousands, roaring as one voice in the darkness.

Something roaring in the dark.

But how could he fear such a beautiful monster dressed in red lights?

The roar was unbearable, his ears couldn’t stand it.

And then it shut.

 

The silence again.

 

Out of nowhere, a sweet voice prayed to the stars "Aitakute". If they could pull out a fierce voice, their prayer would be heard even in the ends of the world. A second voice joined saying "Aitakute", and next was his turn. Suddenly, he felt his voice wouldn't come out. He felt like choking. He needed to pull out his voice and join their prayer.

He woke up gasping and almost screaming, he sat right away and tried to guess where he was, looking around. He felt the fallen leaves under him, smelled the wet soil and recalled he had slept in the ground.

The rain had stopped.

He sighed heavily in relief, and his face with both hands. Only then he noticed he’d been crying. (x)

 

Onaji katachi no mama

Zutto kagayaku kara

Keep in mind that I love you…

 

Junsu repressed the next part.

He had none: neither the voices sending the message, nor the voices that were to receive the message.

He stood up quickly, shook the dirt off his clothes and grabbed his backpack. He had a long road to walk yet.

 

 

Truthfully, the sky was more beautiful than ever, but he didn’t like the night, when the chill hit him.

The nights were very cold, and there was nowhere to keep warm in the middle of that wild vegetation. Since he had left the old man, he hadn’t seen another car, so he was feeling pretty lonely. Plus, he was running out of food.

The lonely night got longer, the road endless. There were nights he didn't want to sleep, thinking there would be more bad dreams. During the day, he wouldn't make a sound and at the end of it felt really weird. In the midst of silence, he would've liked to sing. But he denied it to himself.

Junsu was going down when he spotted through the rough foliage some buildings at the distance. It was a complex.

“Oh. Kita.”

Excited by the view, he began to run, abandoning the road, he took a shortcut through the wild and went stumbling from tree to tree until he reached the road again, but this time he was in front of the main gate.

Hesitant, he looked at the golden plate at the entrance and took a deep breath.

He entered and went walking towards the main building.

It looked a lot like the health center he was in. The lobby looked pretty much the same, and as he guessed, a lovely secretary was behind the counter.

“Hello. My name is Kim Junsu.” - he felt weird talking and his voice came hoarse.

“Ah! Someone called already saying you'd come. Please, Mr. Kim Junsu. You are allowed in as a visitor and may pass.”

The phone rang and the woman answered.

“Take the elevator. Third floor.”

Junsu took the picture out of his pocket and showed it to the lady.

“Could you tell if this is the patient you’ve been- ”

“I’m sorry. I’m not allowed to give any kind of information about patients.”

She didn’t even look at it, so he put it back in his pocket and grabbed his backpack’s straps as he walked towards the elevators without taking his eyes off the counter.

“Yeah, over there.” - The receptionist pointed them out.

He stared at his reflection in front of the elevator doors. He was a mess with all that walking and outdoor sleeping. He messed his hair more, making some time, for he didn’t want to press the button.

Junsu sighed, playing with his backpack straps, stepped forward as he raised his hand and touched the button, but he never pressed it. He sighed heavier and stepped back.

“You have to press the button!”

Yelled the receptionist,  over all that huge space that was the lobby. Her head disappeared behind the high counter.

“Ah. Arasseo yo!”

He got flustered and pressed the button hastily. His heartbeats went faster as he got in the elevator.

 

 

The third floor was empty, so he opened the first door he found: a glass door that said "Nursery". It was a children's playground where they had colored couches, tiny colored tables with their tiny chairs. Toys everywhere, white boards where someone had scribbled something with colored markers that had been left uncapped in the nearest table. Junsu walked through the tables, watching the drawings of the children and smiled. He liked children, they were refreshing. Unfortunately, there was none in there at the moment.

There was a staircase next to the wide windows, that led to a balcony. Junsu could see a couple of doors in that balcony. Maybe he would find someone who could give him directions.

He grabbed a red cube of one of the tables and checked the drawings placed under it. Then he noticed the white boards. Someone had been writing in them recently, since the markers were uncapped.

He recognized the tidy writing and correct grammar. As he turned around to read more of it, his smile widened. It was as if Junsu was staring at him directly. He devoured every character, smiling like an idiot and finally chuckled.

“Ahh… that much amused are you, hyung?”

His heart raced when some powerful voice came out of nowhere, touching sensitive strings in his memory. He turned around to see a tall figure leaned forward in the balcony, smiling back at him, mismatched eyes of a very recognizable dark skinned boy.

 

"CHANGMIN-AH!"

 

Junsu yelled louder than he needed, got rid of his backpack that fell flat on the floor and rushed to the staircase. A needless action, since Changmin went down at double speed and even jumped over the banister to embrace his hyung in a tight hug that hurt them both. Junsu's "eu kyang kyang" filled the huge room with laughter, as Changmin patted his hyung's back. They hugged each other until it was awkward enough.

Junsu's smile couldn't get wider as they separated and stared at each other. Changmin clenched his mouth as his sparkling eyes accused him of wanting o cry. He didn't, though.

They weren't hugging each other, but Changmin didn't let go of his hyung, grabbing him by his arms, as Junsu giggled silly. They'd stare at each other recognizing every feature they hadn't seen for so long.

"Jaa... Changmin-ah... you're so tall..."

Junsu managed to say, mesmerized by Changmin's presence.

"Hyung, you're so ugly."

Junsu laughed, pleased at their interactions, like in the old days. Changmin sighed heavily and clenched his mouth as he hugged Junsu again.

 

"I missed you, hyung."

 

Junsu patted Changmin's back repeatedly. He had so many questions stuck in his throat, yet they got lost in their hug.

 

 

Five minutes later, they were sitting in the tiny chairs, looking kind of childish.

Changmin sighed and looked for his hyung's hand that was above the table. Junsu smiled like the sun.

"You've grown so much..."

"Yeah..." - Changmin replied almost in a whisper. He was moved, and though he did want to cry, he supressed it the best way he could.

Junsu played with Changmin's index and took notice of the drawings in the table.

"These are yours!"

He chuckled at the childish sketchs. Then he turned around and saw that every table had paper sheets on them. They were all Changmin's.

"There are no children in this facility. I sleep up there." - Changmin said as he pointed at the balcony.

"They left you in the nursery?" - His hyung giggled. - How have you been, Changmin-ah? - he asked, caring for Changmin.

- Waiting. - replied boldly, the youngest.

They stared at each other with eyes full of meaning. Moved and excited.

Junsu wondered how much time Changmin had been there. His smile vanished as he turned around and saw hundreds of drawings on the tables. He imagined Changmin, alone, walking around the place, practicing his japanese. For how long?

"Hyung."

Junsu startled.

"What are you doing?" - asked Changmin, trying to sound as serious as his question required.

It wasn't a simple question, and neither the answer was simple.

"This is too weird... But I can go only one way." - Junsu replied with sincerity. His voice had lost a bit of his high pitch, showing a more more mature side of him, moved by every word he spoke.

Then he grabbed his backpack, hessitating, and looked for the document that led him to that place. He showed it to Changmin. After reading it, he sighed.

"What did you come here for, hyung?"

Changmin sounded so harsh. Junsu could sense some hostility growing in his eyes.

"...I came to take you with me. I won't settle down with anything less."

Changmin lowered his head, his bangs hanging down. He read the paper again and smirked back at Junsu.

"Yeah... I thought so, hyung."

Junsu sighed, feeling relieved. He caressed Changmin's head.

"What? Were you going to force me to take you along if I didn't?" - asked Junsu trying to get him mad.

"No need, hyung. I'd follow to the ends of the world, cause this, THIS... - Changmin paused for a moment, thinking -  is very weird, but very clear to me." - Changmin stated, standing up and handing over the sheet of paper to Junsu.

His hyung followed him with his eyes, as Changmin walked around the huge room.

"He'd call it 'fate'."

Junsu couldn’t agree more.

 

 

 

Junsu and Changmin stayed for two days in the nursery, gathered some food (for Changmin was never enough) and in the night of the second one, Changmin led Junsu to the backyard and proposed him to jump over the wall so they could get out of the facility.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Go ahead, hyung." - invited Changmin. He helped him to climb up, and then tossed their backpacks.

"Changmin-sshi!"

A nurse appeared in the middle of the night, yelling at them.

"Changmin-sshi! Why in the world are you sneaking out?"

"I'm sorry, noona. I just have to go."

"Would you mind using the main entrance?"

"Eh?! Changmin-ah, didn't you say they wouldn't let you out?"

Changmin pretended he was sighing.

"I just thought your life needed a little bit of thrill, hyung."

"Changmin-ah!" - Junsu yelled.

The youngest jumped over the wall, grabbed his backpack and ran through the tall grass at the other side, while Junsu was stuck in the top of the wall. He saw the nurse shaking her head in disapproval.

"Changmin-ah!"

 

 

 

 

They travelled alongside the main road, and asked for a ride if a car appeared in their way.

They slept in the middle of that greenery, and neither of themcomplained.

Junsu couldn't sleep the first night. For the first time in a long, long time, there was music within that huge silence. He stared at Changmin sleeping for so long, and at dawn he had fallen asleep sitting against a tree.

As they resumed their travelling, Changmin said:

"I heard you humming last night."

Junsu giggled.

"You did?"

"It... it brought back..." - Changmin shut.

"Memories?" - completed Junsu.

The youngest said nothing else and nodded subtly.

They were lucky enough to find some fruit trees in their way. They took as much fruit as they could. The weather was nice. And the company was nice. Junsu felt as if he had grabbed a piece of happiness.

"This is so weird, hyung." -

"I know."

They would talk next to the fire, in the middle of the darkness. It was very odd, but there wasn't much animals either. Changmin would worry over invisible beasts coming to eat them both in the middle of the night.

"How long have you been here? I mean..." - Junsu dared to ask.

"Umm... for months, maybe almost a year. I don't know."

"Changmin-ah..."

"Can we drop this topic? I don't feel comfortable talking about these things I can't understand, hyung."

"I know."

"I could go crazy trying to find answers." - he added, a little pissed.

"Are you cold?"

"I'm hungry. But since we're running out of food, I'll just have to wait until tomorrow's breakfast."

Next morning, they walked for about 4 kms. and spotted some old buildings in the distance.

"Hey! Hyung! It's a city!"

Junsu checked his map. He hadn't realized there was an encircled spot in it. Changmin went next to his hyung and read the tiny letters: "Seoul".

 

The city was nothing like they had expected: walking by its streets, everything looked so old. Some of the buildings were almost crumbling apart and there were a lot of rusty cars in the streets. Changmin entered a tiny store, and Junsu followed him in.

"Hello. Old man, could you tell us where is this place?"

The owner judged both boys with an unfriendly face, but answered:

"This is Seoul... Old Seoul, to be more precise. If you're looking for the new city, it's still a couple of Kms. ahead."

"Ahh... Thank you."

They sat in the sidewalk, next to a tall tree.

They would look at the people pass by. Nothing had changed much, and they thought they had recognized the city a little bit.

"Give me that."

Asked Changmin to his hyung, after getting bored. He grabbed Junsu's backpack and checked his stuff. He put everything in the pavement.

"We'll have to do something about this..." - he mumbled to himself as he wrapped the list of health centers they knew of, and continue to check his hyung's personal possessions. He grabbed the pocket notebook and left it aside, and then he found his wallet.

"Mm... the doctor gave me that." - said Junsu eating a peach that Changmin had found in the bag. The smell of something cooking in one of the stores behind them made him hungry. Changmin could smell also, so he surely was getting hungry too.

Changmin opened the wallet and he surprised, making Junsu curious.

"Oh! Hyung, look!" - Changmin showed him he had his ID and a credit card. They both stared at each other, with wide eyes. - "If this has money on it, I'll be... ah, i don't know. I'm excited, now."

Changmin put everything back in Junsu's bag, they both stood up and crossed the street to a cash dispenser.

"Do you know how it works?" - asked Junsu, eating his peach as he closed the glass door behind him.

"Shouldn't be too difficult, hyung." - Changmin said as he looked where to insert the credit card. Machines hadn't changed at all. - "Ah, I got it." Some beeps and lights in the screen showed them how to proceed. The machine asked them for an ID, and Changmin got more excited, as Junsu only looked above the youngest shoulder, the peach disappearing in his hand.

There was a good amount of money displayed on the screen.

"Is that my money?!"

Changmin spelled an "o" with his mouth, but no sound came out.

"Really?"

They crossed the street again, and Junsu got in the alley where the smell came from. He stared at the food in the store window, mumbling. He would point at the dishes he'd have, counting some portions.

"Changmin-ah, let's eat!" - he turned around and saw nobody. He looked for the youngest and spotted him a few meters away, staring at another store's window. - "Oh, maybe he found japanese food?"

He got closer, and realized it wasn't a restaurant, but an electronics store.

"Changmin-ah?"

He was staring at the prices, as he put his forehead against the glass. He pointed at something in the middle of a dozen of electronic devices. He remained silent until he turned around to look at Junsu.

"Hyung, if we want to find them, I need one of those."

He was so serious, and even moved, at the thought of having a computer on his hands. Junsu glanced at the tiny pocket computer, that looked like an electronic dictionary. He didn't have to give it too much thought and agreed, even knowing the price.

"Okay." - Junsu nodded.

They got out of the store half hour later. They took longer because Changmin made sure to get a good device. With his new toy in his hands, they walked into the streets of old Seoul, with no money left, hungry, and somewhat happy.

 

 

 

 

"I need information. All I can gather."

"Take it easy." - said Junsu.

"Did you know this, hyung? There's this new net..."

"Yeah, yeah."

" ...that it's a lot smaller than the old one, but it lacks so much in security that I can access pretty much everywhere from here."

"Ah, jinjja?" - Junsu was curious.

"I can't do that with my computer." - someone said next to them.

A kid had approached them, holding a ball under his arm, with his other hand he scratched his head, confused. Junsu smiled at the kid and patted his shoulder with the back of his hand.

"Hey! He's Shim Changmin. You don't mess with him." -said jokingly, and Changmin smiled, pleased, without taking his eyes off of the screen.

Junsu went to play soccer with some children in the back of the alley, as Changmin got accustomed to his new toy. He lost notion of his surroundings, so when Junsu got closer and talked to him, he startled at how dark it was the city, and how hungry he was.

"We need a place to sleep."

"Eh? Yeah... Where are we going?" - Changmin asked as he grabbed his bag. - "We're sleeping in the wild?"

"One of the kids told me a lot of buildings are abandoned. Right around the corner, there's this old apartment building."

"Ah, hyung..." - whined Changmin. He was feeling like a trespasser. - Really? Breaking into a building?

"We'll just have to."

They got in through one of the back windows and slept in the floor of one of the second floor apartments, since there was no furniture inside. They slept warmly that night.

"Don't you find it weird, hyung?"

"What?"

"We... I mean we, - said Changmin sitting in the floor of "their" apartment, eating peaches, as he pointed both - walking freely in the streets."

Changmin would eat the fruit without the skin, peeling it with his teeth. It made his food last longer, because peaches were the only thing they had to eat.

"Uh? Oh! Right. I hadn't noticed." - Junsu got lost in his thoughts.

That day it snowedand they couldn't do anything but to stare outside, amused and surprised.

Junsu got out of "their apartment" and went through every floor looking for something that could help them to keep warm. Changmin was shaking in the floor when he came back with his hands empty.

"Where were you, hyung?"

Vaporcame out of his mouth, from Changmin's warm breath, and it worried him. Their clothes were so light and the temperature had droppedin a few hours. Snow was piling up outside the building's door. He stood there, in the entrance trying to think.

"How old do you think this building is?" - asked the older boy putting his hands in his waist.

"I don't know."

"Do you think the heatingwill work?"

"Hardly."

Junsu went to the kitchen and opened the door under the sink.

"Can you please look for the thermostat?" - yelled Junsu from the kitchen.

"Yeah... I should look for the energy switch first. Without energy, there won't be much to do, but I doubt this building has any..." - he mumbled and his voice got lost in some room. - Ah. Found it! - yelled back Changmin, and rushed to see what his hyung was doing.

Kneeled down, he was trying to open the tap under the sink, so the hot water would flow.

"I'm sure it can still work."

"Hyung, you're going to brake it." - Changmin warned him. He shook his head.

"It's okay, I got it. I'll just put some pressure here... and..."

"It's going to brake!"

The tap moved. They heard the pipes vibrate and Changmin rushed to the thermostat to adjust the temperature.

"Bipbipbip. Done!" - he said childishly and giggled evily as his hyung got in the room.

Junsu laid flat, face down, on the floor, put his ear against it and banged with his fists repeatedly.

"It's getting warm!" - he yelled and giggled.

"Ah! Yay!"

They danced in response, like two dorks in the night. Changmin ripped off some curtains and he covered both, laid in the middle of the empty living room.

"Why the curtain? I think we're okay."

"Don't you know this, hyung? Body temperature drops when you're sleeping, so it'd be nice if this cover can keep us warm, as the heat raises from the floor and stores it around us." - said Changmin gesturing with every word.

Junsu was not amused.

"Ahhh... Changmin-seonsaeng-nim."

They slept warmly, very close to one another, even though they had all that space. The floor was so warm in their backs. It felt cozyand home-like.

Very comfortable.

 

 

Changmin woke up to some weird noise. He sat, uncovering both. It was very dark outside and it was still snowing. He stood quiet, hearing in the middle of the night, his eyes sparkling with the lights that came in from the streets. Junsu removed in his place and opened his eyes blinking. He frowned.

"Wha- " - Junsu's hoarse voice showed.

"Sshh."

Changmin moved his head, as if he was trying to tune some sound. A dog barked in the distance. Then they heard noises. Junsu sat right away and began to put his shoes on.

It was as if someone was downstairs.

"This is the police! Whoever it is-"

Junsu and Changmin looked at each other with their eyes and mouths wide open. They stood up quickly and wrapped up everything.

" -that is occupying this building, come out now and you won't get in trouble!"

Changmin pointed at his backpack, and without saying a word, Junsu grabbed it and tossed it at Changmin. They didn't make a sound and went running to the entrance.

"We'll check your ID and that'll be it!"

Junsu stopped at the entrance and grabbed Changmin's hand.

"You don't have an ID!" - he was a bit scared. He dragged Changmin to the staircase and started climbing.

"What are we doing? I'm sure we can explain this, hyung. It's the police!"

"No, no. Trust me. There's a staircase in the next floor that can lead us out."

"We are coming in!" - they heard from the floors below.

Junsu kicked an old, rusty door and they entered a storage room that had a staircase that led them to another storage room. It had a tiny window.

"They're sneaking out!"

Someone had seen them in the staircase.

"Ah! Hyung, hurry, hurry!"                                                                                             

Changmin led Junsu to the window and they got out. There was a metalicladder that was short and slippery.

"Go, go, go!" - Changmin yelled at Junsu as he went down the ladder and landed in the snow. Then Changmin did. Both dashed off the alley as fast as they could into the streets.

 

Five streets away, they stopped running and sat at a bench in the sidewalk, under a tree. Panting, they noticed they were back outside, with the snow, the cold, and hungry as hell.

"Aish..."

At least, it wasn't snowing anymore.

 

Junsu grabbed his head, as Changmin patted him in the back. It was so cold outside. They didn't have proper clothes. Junsu sighed in despair and began looking everywhere for something. Changmin noticed he had broughtthe curtain with him.

"Come, Changmin-ah." - said Junsu as he stood up from the bench, and crossed the street, dragging him.

Junsu got under the roof of a Japanese food stall. It was warmer than the broad street. There was vapor coming out of the grill and it was comfortable. He sat in a chair, and invited Changmin to join him. The owner was pleased.

"Hyung..." - whined Changmin, staring at Junsu - "we don't have money."

The owner of the stall frowned, ready to kick them out.

"Sit, we still have some left." - he replied, more to the owner, than Changmin.

"But not this. It's japanese food. It must be expensive."

"Just sit."

"My prices are the best." - smiled the owner.

"Have you been in Japan, old man?" - asked Junsu, measuring his knowledge.

"Never have. I learned all this from a korean guy, who probably learned from a japanese guy. Someday I will go."

Junsu spoke in japanese then.

"Changmin, it's better to stay here, and not to die from hypothermia in the streets, okay?"

The youngest boy stared at him and blinked, nodding briefly.

"Wakatta." - he sighed.

Junsu thought Changmin deserved a prize.

"Ramen, please."

"Waa... hyung..."

They ate delicious food that night. Changmin thought it was the last night they were going to eat. What a bitter feeling.

 

Changmin fell asleep over the counter at dawn, while Junsu chatted with the owner of the stall.

"Do you work all night here, old man, every day?"

"Yeah, yeah, sometimes... I'm used to this cold. By the way, aren't you two dressed very lightly?"

Junsu laughed. He could only do that much. He rubbed his face with both hands, he was so sleepy.

"Listen, boy, if you're having money problems, you could try working at my friend's restaurant?"

"I can't cook."

"Haha, no, not that. I heard you humming earlier."

Junsu was hearing his words and anticipated his question:

"It was nice, boy. I liked it. You could sing in my friend's restaurant sometime. He won't pay you much, though..."

"I will! Do- What? I'll take it!"

"Haha, not so fast. I told him he should have someone sing there, but he's never accepted."

Junsu helped the old man wrapping up everything so he could go home and rest. The night had been long and cold. Junsu said goodbye and thanked him. He sent Changmin to wait in the nearest bench, wrapped up in the curtains.

"Umm... thanks for everything, old man. And for keeping the stall open for us."

"I wouldn't let two good boys die from hypothermia in the streets."

Junsu laughed at his fail of keeping that conversation a secret from him and felt embarrassed. He covered his mouth and giggled.

"I will go to Japan one day, so..." - the old man shrugged.

"Choisunghamnida. Kamsahamnida." - he bowed twice as the old man walked away leaving his stall chained outside of the nearest alley.

 

 

They searched for the restaurant all day. They got lost several times, Junsu hadn't sleep at all. They were a mess.

"I won't have a singer in my restaurant. I think I don't need it." - stated boldly the owner of the restaurant, when they managed to find the damn alley. Changmin wanted to protest, but Junsu stopped him.

They felt discouraged.

"...But my neighbor needs young people to do a job for him."

Five minutes later, they had a job.

"The snow is ruining my bussiness. Remove all the snow from the front."

Junsu and Changmin stared at the endless pile of snow they had to shovel, pouting.

"Fifty years, and they haven't invented a robot that can do this." - Changmin said, bitterly.

"At least this clothes are very warm." - Junsu jumped in his thick green overall. Changmin was wearing a similar one, with green gloves and a green hood.

"Ahh, gotta give this job credit for that." - said Changmin as he started to plowing the snow. Junsu copied him. They were working all the afternoon, still with a hole in their stomachs.

"I don't know how Yunho-hyung could do this job..." - whined Changmin when they were almost done with the entire alley.

Junsu felt a stinging pain in his chest. He stopped shoveling the snow and breathed heavily. He hadn't heard Changmin name any of the members until now.

But more importantly: he could not tell him the truth of what he had seen in the cemetery.

"I don't do discounts, never given a free dish, and I don't hire more people. Ever! But this is a good friend of mine and he asked me a favor." - suddenly an annoyed voice came out from behind them. Both turned around to look. It was the owner of the restaurant. He looked unfriendly as always.

Junsu tried to understand what he was saying. His thoughts had wandered away from the pain and he decided to stay there. He didn't want any pain.

"The stall old man?" - asked Junsu.

"You can eat here until you have some money." - added the restaurant's owner.

Both looked at each other, surprised. The old man just turned around and went to his restaurant. The boys were happy work was almost over.

They ate delicious food that night (Changmin was so happy) and helped their new unfriendly friend to close his restaurant. When he left, Junsu couldn't help but wonder as he sighed:

"Where are we going to sleep tonight?" - he looked so tired.

"Come, hyung."

They were still wearing their green overalls, and looked pretty funny on them. Changmin led his hyung through the alley and opened a rusty old door with a key.

"Where did you get that from?" - he asked, almost angry.

He got in and a light.

"Oooh, it's as she said." - he walked in, and Junsu followed him.

It was a deplorable room, but it never felt so cozy.

"You got us a room?" - Junsu asked, as he left his bag on the floor.

The room was small, the ceiling was really low, and it smelled funny. There was a bed, a stove and some other stuff, all very welcomed by his eyes.

"I talked to our new boss' wife." - explained Changmin - Changmin had... - he giggled and shook his head in disapproval - this Changmin had to put his best baby face to appeal toher motherly side.”

Junsu smiled and giggled. Changmin was so reliable. He teased Changmin, pinching his cheeks and talking with an annoying voice.

"Really, our baby!"

"Ahh, hyung, don't." - he grabbed him by the wrists and removed his hands. Then he sat in the bed.

In the past, maybe they had fought childishly for hours.

"Really, bow to me, Junsu-hyung. What would you do without me? Huh?" -  he said as he raised his hands, like asking to the heavens.

He was so cheerful. But tired. Junsu laughed at his teasing. Then he got a little bit nostalgic.

"Nothing, of course..."

It wasn't a problem for them to sleep in the same bed. They had done this so many times already in the past. It felt like home. They the stove to warm up their tiny room, and after Changmin had nagged for several minutes, Junsu turned it off so they could go to sleep. Changmin kept it safely for both. So cautious.

They worked their asses off the next days, praying that it wouldn't stop snowing. They earned and saved as much money as they could.

Their boss used to offer this service for his neighbors in the alley when the snow began falling, because of the unstable weather. There were a lot of tiny stores and restaurants in the area.

They earned enough money to make a short trip.

So one night they discussed about it.

"We'll go by train."                             

Junsu laughed.

"A train over the sea?"

"Apparently, the Big Disaster left a giant serpent of land that crosses Japan, and Korea."

"You're kidding, right?" - Junsu asked, frowning, with his most skeptical expression.

Changmin handed over to him his pocket computer. Junsu watched a map in the screen. His eyes followed an invisible line that went from point A to point B, his mouth slightly opened.

"The only thing they managed to do with the humongous land strip was to build something like the Shinkansen." - added Changmin.

"Oh! We're going by train." - said Junsu cheerfully. - Cool.

Both boys went to see their boss to ask for permission to go on a trip on weekend. Luckily, their boss was in a good mood.

 

So they would travel in a couple of days to Tokyo.

 

"Are you tired, hyung?"

"Eh... yeah... but gotta keep the pace. We need some money to cross the sea..."

"To cross the sea." - supported Changmin. He couldn't suppress his smirk.

"We need some money to cross the sea..." - began singing childishly Junsu.

"We need some money to cross the sea..." - sang along Changmin.

The children would pass by and stare at them, a bit scared.

"We need some money to cross the sea..."

That cheered them up a bit.

 

 

 

"Changmin-ah! We're going to Japan!" - said with his most childish and girly voice, Junsu, as he grabbed his backpack straps and played with them.

Changmin got in their coachand walked past his hyung to grab a seat, shaking his head. He pretended to sigh heavily, ignoring him.

They didn't know about the world that much, but both were surprised of how cheap their tickets were, considering they were going to Japan.

They had fun, eternally amused at seeing the sea throughout the entire travel.

Changmin would type things very often in his new toy, and got immersed in information. As he had said, he needed to gather all the information he could. From time to time, he would let Junsu know something special or curious he had found.

"Eh?? Explain it to me, please." - Junsu frowned, confused.

"That document lacks a lot of information, hyung. Who did you ask to?"

"A guy, who worked in archives. He gave me the information and even took me to the cemetery to..." - Junsu stopped all of a sudden. "They were very nice to me there." - simply added. He smiled, hiding his words.

"Well... This charity organization known as the Seven Sisters financed other 'recovery' projects."

"Which means... " - they both stared at each other, with eyes full of hope- "Well, you know... our members could be..."

"Eh, yeah..." - Changmin lowered his head, breaking eye contact. They were so cautious in dreaming. - "You see, hyung... there are so many others."

They were already awkward with the topic. Having hope was... hard. In their reality, there was the possibility of everything crumbling at every step they gave.

"Junsu-hyung." - Changmin's voice was low and slow. - "Do you know... the probabilities of... well, gathering."

"Do you?" - Junsu sneakily tried to look at him.

"You don't wanna know."

 

The weather got better as they reached Japan.

"With this many temperature changes, I'm going to get a cold very soon."

When they reached the station, they rode another line immediately, so they could get to Tokyo that same day.

"Oh, hyung! That thing is better than the Shinkansen!" - jumped Changmin when they sat in their second train. A lot of people turned to look at him.

Tokyo had a familiar air they could never forget of even if fifty years had passedby.

Their destination was clear. Changmin typed briefly in his computer and read.

"There's this very known Health Center that is rumored to have one of the members of Tohoshinki... Very convenient information, when you're lacking official sources." - Changmin mumbled to himself. Based on that information, they had prepared their trip to Japan days ago.

"Let's go." - hurried him Junsu.

Their journey died when they got off of their cab. They compared the huge building that appeared in Changmin's computer with the huge building in front of them.

So much had changed. It was clear the building was no longer a Health Center, but a company of some sort. Junsu asked their cab driver before he could go.

"Oh, that. That company is there since... Long ago, years, yeah..."

They were defeated.

Changmin closed his pocket computer and sat in a bench nearby, looking absent. Junsu didn't know how to cheer him up. He was upset with himself also. He sat next to him, watching the people walk by.

Some tourists over there, pigeons over there, traffic over there. And the huge building behind him, haunting them, like a big dark omen. Suddenly Junsu took notice of what he was seeing. He patted Changmin's knee and pointed at the tourists. Without saying a word, he grabbed Changmin's hand and dragged him near the bus.

They got in and the bus entered the streets of Tokyo.

 

One hour later, they were stopping in a place forgotten by god, that looked so deserted they felt dissapointed. Their guide went down the bus and tried to gather all the people around her. She spoke through a tiny megaphone and announced:

"There you have it: Tokyo Dome ruins."

Neither Junsu or Changmin could believe it. By the looks of it, the place was nowhere near civilization and all that was left there was a bunch of huge blocks of rock. Only proof that the huge and imposing Tokyo Dome had once existed

"Hyung..."

If Junsu had wanted to cheer Changmin up, he had failed all the way.

"Come on, let's get inside and see it for ourselves. Shall we?" - invited the woman with the megaphone.

Their guide led them closer to the ruins. Even though the destruction was evident, someone had taken good care of the ruins. They had built an enjoyable path, they had a souvenirs store and all. But once inside, the boys only had eyes for what was left of the stage.

"You can see there's a stage set up, partly destroyed, because the night of the Big Disaster there was a concert going on." - their guide just did her job, but Changmin wished she would just shut up.

Everyone took a different path, checking every corner of that huge space, as they took pictures and filmed everything.

"To your left, you can see the great monolith. This was donated by the Ministry of Culture 10 years ago. In it, you can find all the performers that one day stood up on the stage of Tokyo Dome. You can see their names carved into the stone."

Junsu went down a couple of terraces to check it out. He felt Changmin followed him. His hands traced the carved names. There were so many, that Changmin saw he was getting desperate. He left his bag next to him and began searching also. With his hand, he tried to discard as many as he could.

"Only the greatest made it this far." - added their guide.

Changmin saw it.

"Hyung."

It said "東方神起".

Junsu froze. Changmin's hands slid down the rock, he leaned his forehead against it and breathed heavily. He felt dizzy. Changmin began hyperventilating.

"Changmin-ah!" - Junsu grabbed his arm, trying to keep him from squatting down. - "Changmin-ah! Come, come!"

Junsu dragged him away from the monolith, grabbed his bag from the floor, and led him next to the stage. He knew Changmin wouldn't want anyone to see him like that.

He looked so fragile. Junsu let him cry all he wanted in the back of the stage. They sat next to each other, Changmin giving his back to his hyung. Junsu knew about his pride. He patted him in the back.

They had lunch apart from the rest of the tourists. Changmin calmed down bit by bit, and ate slowly.

"I'm sorry, hyung." - he said with a hoarse voice.

"Aw, you don't have to apologize, c'mon." - Junsu patted his elbow, and smiled at him.

"I had... I had some anxiety attacks the last years we... I mean Yunho-hyung and I were by our..." - he didn't want to say it, so he shut.

"Jaa... Changmin-ah... wanna sing something?" - Junsu cheered him up. - "What do you say?"

They were lunching up on the stage. Tourists were far away, having lunch somewhere near the entrance.

"Sure." -  But Changmin was uneasy.

They stood up in the middle of the stage. Junsu had his sticks servehim as a microphone.

"Sei, no..." - said, looking at the maknae.

"Oh, god... I can't do it." - Changmin sighed heavily and squatted.

Junsu pouted.

Their trip had turned into a big failure. They spent their trip back in total silence.

 

More discouraged than ever, they got back to Seoul and went back to their new working routine. There was still snowing in Seoul, and they already had so much work.

Changmin looked so down, and Junsu wished they had an older hyung to turn to. He felt he didn't have the strength anymore. He cheered himself up. If he let himself get more discouraged, how could he give support to Changmin?

So, one night, back from work, he sat in the bed, staring at Changmin, who drowned in his pocket computer, isolating himself. He snapped his fingers, getting Changmin's attention. He snapped his fingers again, building a constant beat. (X)

 

You only love...

pogihal su eomneun

dan hana-ui na-ui sarangiyeo

 

The youngest sighed. He wasn't pleased at all, but he had to admit Junsu's voice was a pleasure to listen to. Since the early days, he had admire his singing. Junsu knew that.

"Come on." - invited Junsu.

Changmin skipped Yunho's part and sang his instead.

 

Seulpeum soge jamshi himdeun geojyo

eotteon maldo deureul sun eomnayo

 

They sang the chorus together harmonizing beautifully.

 

You only love… (my only love) I can't never give up
he-eojimi geudae seontaegingayo
You only love na-ui jeonbu-ingeoryo. You only love my life…

 

In the midst of all that loneliness, it felt a bit warmer. Like coming back home.

 

 

 

"We're moving." - Junsu told Changmin the next morning.

"Eh?"

"This hyung won't let the music slip away from you, Changmin-ah..."

Changmin was having breakfast next to the stove. He blinked in response.

"Don't be so cheesy first time in the morning, please, hyung."

"Ah! You seem better now."

"I am. Ready for work."

As they removed the snow from the streets, Changmin giggled.

"Ah! It's so hard! I can't believe Yunho-hyung did this when he was really young."

Junsu felt the stinging pain again. He frowned and stopped shoveling as Changmin kept talking.

"We should go looking for him next, hyung."

"I don't think so."

"There's all this data I've collected... - said Changmin, very excited - that seems to be legit."

Junsu sighed.

"There are so many hints about Yunho-hyung's whereabouts."

"There are nearer Centers we should check first." - Junsu messed his hair.

He couldn't tell him the truth. That he had seen someone's grave in the cemetery, and it was Yunho's grave.

Could he?

Letting Changmin have hopes about it was criminal too.

Could he?

Junsu took a deep breath.

 

"…Yunho-hyung… is dead."

 

 

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You only love...

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If you wanna know about korean heating (and it's the only video I've watched, tbh u.u )

Next chapter will be shorter T.T