Increments
30 Ways: SpartAce
.meeting
Ji Hyo would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous.
Surrounded by cameras wherever she moved, the tiniest change in her expression and the barest remark was caught on tape, recorded, to be potentially shown to the whole world.
She was simply Song Ji Hyo, and for once she couldn’t hide behind the masks of her characters.
And really, who was the person named Song Ji Hyo? That wasn’t something she ever had to think about before. Sure there had been a couple variety appearances but those were a few and far in between, and she had emceed for the music program some time ago (she had been rather proud of that) but a permanent member took some getting used to.
Thankfully a couple episodes in she was more comfortable with the concept, and everyone treated her as nicely as they could. Admittedly there was the awkwardness of getting to know each other, but with Jae Suk’s comfortable presence tying them together and being locked up in the same place together over several nights at least the ice had melted away leaving a common ground to start from.
Ji Hyo was rather taken aback at the meeting to officially welcome her as a member rather than a guest. She didn’t like being at the center of attention so much and she would have been fine with simply greeting them all formally before they filmed next time. But she supposed like with drama work that it was necessary to sit down and talk things through. Variety was as much a work as dramas were.
It was a balmy summer day that they met at a cafe.
Even the soft wind seemed like rush of heat from an oven so the cool air of the empty cafe was a welcome change.
The private room that one of their staff pointed her too was already packed with what she assumed were all the members. She had meant to come early to make a good impression but her stylist wanted to put finishing touches, and the traffic had been terrible. She apologized profusely as she sat down on the chair in the middle that Jae Suk kindly directed her to, tucking the loose strand of hair behind her ear and smoothing her long shirt along the bottom of her hips her so that it sat neatly folded under her.
This was familiar, she thought, the cast (minus Joong Ki who was delayed by his drama event going into overtime, the head PD said) sitting in a circle of sorts in the room. She really would have liked to have her actor dongsaeng here so she could join in the small talk without feeling too left out, but it couldn’t be helped. The table was stocked with enough food and drinks to keep a comfortable, light atmosphere as scattered conversation broke out about the room.
Jo Hyo Jin as the head PD explained the concept of Running Man to her in more detail, a brief line about the possibility of a loveline, and excused himself so the members could get to know her more.
She already knew Joong Ki (who arrived not long after Jo PD’s earlier briefing) from the acting circle, and Gwang Soo as well to some extent. And it was a humbling experience to see the Yoo Jae Suk, one of the most prominent figures in the entertainment world in action. And she was familiar with watching Suk Jin from her younger days when she would curl up on the sofa with her family to watch the shows. Gary seemed to be the only one she had no information on, other than the fact he was the rapper musician of Leessang.
Jae Suk pointed out that he and Jong Kook had worked with her before on the set of Family Outing, and also he seen her once on Happy Together.
She inwardly marveled at his memory (she had almost forgotten it herself) as Haha joked she seemed really impressed just now. Her thoughts were interrupted by Suk Jin’s question of what was her first impression of them then.
“Ah… Well, Jae Suk-ssi really seemed dependable and kind just like all the rumors said, definitely. I was really thankful for giving me some tips back then, and recently when I guested on Running Man.”
“And what about Jong Kook?”
She glanced shortly at the man in question.
“Jong Kook-ssi was…. Also very nice.” Her admittedly rather curt reply was met with good- natured laughter much to her (and possibly Jong Kook’s) embarrassment.
To be quite honest, she couldn’t remember much beyond that.
Her brief admiration of him on their last filming, her hands clasped over watching him fall without another word into the water ten meters below went left unsaid.
.curiosity
The guest that day was Shin Bong Sun, Kim Soo Ro, and Lee Hong Ki.
Ji Hyo hadn’t thought much of it, but quickly found herself intrigued by the other woman’s behavior. It was obvious she had a small crush on their resident muscled man, even one played out as a joke like that no doubt came from something real.
As celebrities it was rare for one to divulge their personal feelings so openly like she did. It was not the luxury of mind that came with their positions. And yet Bong Sun—
Ji Hyo wondered if it was her frankness as a comedian, a bravery of sorts.
What did she see in the man?
It was the first in a long time she turned her thoughts back to Jong Kook.
He still remained somewhat of a mystery to her. She knew him as a singer, a much beloved variety character, and a well mannered person but the man who only smiled softly as Bong Sun linked arms with him was so much more than that she felt.
To be quite honest, Kim Jong Kook intimidated her. Almost.
Perhaps that was where the it set in, born out of the disparity from the image that Bong Sun had and her own thoughts.
And in the coming weeks she came to know exactly how much he talked and nagged.
How he was incredibly stubborn when it came down to things, and how on camera he would reprimand his dongsaengs and his hyungs, but also how he well-meaning, respectful he was after all’s been said and done.
How even when she clung tight to his leg, or indirectly cursed at him, he would never raise his voice at her. To her, his voice had always been soft, almost kind— only a few steps closer than distant politeness.
The fear ebbed away, replaced by a strange curiosity for the man with the small smiling eyes.
.friendship
The program rolled along relatively smoothly now, a combination of the members’ work and their staff’s dedication and an audience that had thankfully grown since the much early days of the show. She no longer had to remind herself that she was also included in those members, but even now they all seemed impressive in their own right although the thought now held contentment in the same manner that one would be pleased to hear that their longtime friend was doing well, maybe even married with a family of four or something.
The relative ease after the first few trying months on the show brought the silent sigh of relief, the distinctive air of the train sputtering to life slowly, wheels turning one revolution and then another and another until the only thing left seemed to be to go forward, and forward.
Ji Hyo supposed she had changed the most. She knew her competitive spirit had always been there, masked by many layers of shyness and careful thinking, but now there was less pretense about it.
She was rather proud of her moniker after all.
The Ace.
It was far easier getting to know him through their on screen characters, the situation of mutual benefit was cleaner and more straight forward than the complicated ritual of friendship.
They were the Commander and the Ace, the Ace and the Commander.
They were still rough on the edges, an easy joke at one moment and awkward silence the next. A step forward, and too quickly, a jerk back it seemed. And still, they remained.
She was the Ace, he was the Commander.
Song Ji Hyo had nothing to fear from the other members, especially not the one Kim Jong Kook but the Ace was the one that had no qualms about teasing back, fire on her tongue and a glint in her eye.
The Ace challenged the man to step closer talking to him, biting at the first chance to , all the while saying to let me in— and he had eased at the familiarity of the routine.
She didn't know whether it was the Commander or Kim Jong Kook that had met her somewhere in between, but the careful politeness had given way to something less rigid. Something within her arm’s reach.
Part of it had to do with her desire to win of course, her desire for his strength, but the proximity both of those put her at with Jong Kook gave way to conversation, meaningless talks and fleeting touches that built upon each other, until she found herself basking in the quiet warmth that Jong Kook provided.
His affection was not as loud with her as with his other dongsaengs and she shook her head thinking of his stubbornness to treat her thus, but it was not any less genuine. It was there surely.
In the curve of his lips— filled with pride, is that a challenge?
In the glittering of his eyes— warm with laughter, good job.
In the stride of his step— matched to her own, I’ll wait for you.
It was in the way he remembered her favorite coffee, and the way he patted her shoulder in understanding.
Late night, the area was dark save for the bright glow of the smaller lighting equipment. She walked towards the van where her manager was waiting, mentally checking off a to do list for tomorrow's schedule.
"You parked your car around here too?" Jong Kook's voice broke her out of her reverie. Noting the way her shoulders jumped in surprise, he added, "Sorry, I didn't meant to startle you."
She smiled to let him know there was no harm done. "Well it's my manager's car actually, but yes." Like that, they ended up walking together towards the distance where their respective vehicles were waiting, footsteps crunching in the gravel of the makeshift parking lot. The two stopped a few feet short of the beige van that was hers.
"Good night, Ji Hyo." The words hung there for a moment, like a breath fogging up in the night air.
Honestly she hadn’t even realized what was wrong until a look of apology clouded those small eyes of his, because her name without any suffix sounded so right. When had he called her by anything else?
“I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s alright, I actually didn’t notice for a second,” she said, smiling. “Good night Jong Kook-oppa.”
She genuinely liked his presence.
Well, they all had grown on her but she liked talking to Jong Kook, about missions (they did have a tendency to get very immersed), about her life, and she liked hearing about his. When they met up with their Running Man family at the usual restaurant there was a comfortable chatter. If she ranted about something, perhaps Gwang Soo would offer words of comfort as he listened, and Suk Jin and even Jae Suk would be there with his word of advice but Jong Kook was the one that understood.
She wondered if she hadn’t crossed a line somewhere, because she didn’t think twice about slipping her arm into his traveling across the mission's grounds until Suk Jin had pointed it much later with tone akin to a light regret and awe, that week they were decked out in Sherlock-esque outfits.
“I shouldn’t have been surprised by now, seeing you two together at the end.” The filming had ended, and Suk Jin was more content after hearing the compliments about his impressive set-up from the staff and half begrudgingly from the members.
“Why’s that?” Ji Hyo asked their eldest, spirits high after the victory and the salty smell of the sea.
“Anyone else would have each other, but you two… I still wasn’t expecting both of you to trust each other so easily, but since you’re always together it was probably expected that you’d team up again.”
“Mm. What do you mean, again? We’re not always together, oppa. We’re not even on the same team most of the time.” Which was a shame since she liked working with him, but the balance of power had to be taken into account.
He shot her a questionable look, then at Jong Kook who was teasing Jae Suk, then back to her. “Ji Hyo-ya. The number of times you guys have been attached at the hip is more than I can count on my hands.” Suk Jin tried again, eyes shining behind his horned spectacles. “Tell me honestly, do you like him?”
Ah, so that’s what he had been implying. She did think he had been acting antsy as of late.
“If you do—”
“We’re friends, oppa. Really good friends.”
And she was sure about that, as an actress her own emotions were an open book.
They were lots of things: friends, partners, an unstoppable team, but it included none of what Suk Jin had asked.
.trust
Her “relationship” with Gary received a lot of teasing from the members. It was for the show obviously, and usually she didn’t mind his cheesy attempts. When she had been a student all those years ago she and her friends had passed around pick up lines for fun so it was hard taking it more seriously than entertainment.
Her relationship with Chang Joo on the other hand, was unexpected. She had accepted the proposal with an open heart, she wasn’t completely into anyone at the moment but the man had offered his hand and there was no real harm in taking hold of it— it simply was one of those things that ended up happening.
She had considered telling Jong Kook at least, since he was the most experienced in dealing with these things. She knew he had a few girlfriends over the years and most of the public was none the wiser and she knew he could keep a secret. And most of all, it was so reassuring to know that he knew, really as if one look at Kim Jong Kook made one think he could protect you from the bad things of the world.
For that exact reason, she couldn’t tell him. She didn’t like relying on him so much. Although the members were all like family in a sense, this was something she had to deal on her own.
The consequences were not a complete surprise. It would have been better if the news had never gotten out in the first place but there was no use thinking that now. Given the scale of popularity her character, and to an extent her own self now carried, the reaction was a giant tidal wave, threatening to pass her own walls.
There was awkwardness, and she felt the advice her actor and actress friends had given all too clearly, that her variety persona and herself as a being, as an actress got so irreversibly linked that it was difficult to tell where one ended and one began because for all the public knew they were one person.
She stifled tears in silence.
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