“Are you sure you can find your way there?” Yifan asked her for maybe the fifth time already.

“Sometimes I think Yin has rubbed off too much on you.” She replied while texting Kyunghee that yes, she’s going, no, she’s not ditching.

Yifan appeared from his kitchen holding a spatula. “And you know Yin would kill me if she knew I let you wander alone.”

“Dude, I can handle myself.” She smoothed her navy blue button down shirt. “Plus I’m not going to stay there for long. I have a flight to catch tomorrow. Actually the same flight as yours, Jongin texted me a while ago that some clients are having problems with the paintings and I don’t want Yin to handle it alone.”

Yifan stared at her. “Or you’re just running away again. You didn’t even visit your parents while you’re here.”

She snorted. “If I have a good relationship with them the same as yours, I probably would. I run away remember?”

“And isn’t this the time you patch any misunderstanding you had with them?”

She stopped fiddling at her dress and turn to Yifan. “You know it’s not that easy as you claim it to be.” She smiled sadly.

If she wanted to patch things up, she would have to start with either Luhan or Sehun. And she doesn’t know if she can face them.

 

 

May 2008

 

"What do you want to do after you graduate high school?"

Minri snapped her head up upon hearing the question. She's not hallucinating, isn’t she? Her father for once actually wanted to know her opinion.

"I want to enroll at Yonsei. I think it's best to pursue business course there." Luhan's voice echoed beside her.

Yeah. Right. It's Luhan's opinion that her father needs not hers.

"That's a good choice. Your father will want that for you too. And you young lady since Luhan is going to Yonsei I guess its best that you also enroll in that. Take a law course."

Her father doesn't even glance at her and all but just exits the library room.

She slumped further into her seat. "Oh hey dad. I actually wanted to take linguistics have you ever thought of that." She said with sarcasm and slammed down the throw pillow in the couch not bothering that Luhan is with her in the room. Before she could walk out, a hand encircled her arm.

"Wait Minri."

"What?" She snarled at him. At time like this, her hatred with Luhan comes back. She knew it's illogical and just plainly stupid but she just wanted someone to blame and she's tired of blaming her father.

“I’m sorry.” Luhan whispered.

“Stop saying sorry for Pete’s sake. You make me hate you even more.” She hissed.  It’s too late to get back what she just said as hurt flashes across Luhan’s face. She withdraws her arm and look away.

“Look.” She ran a hand on her hair. Frustrated at the guilt that thawing at her heart and conscience. “I didn’t mean it. Just.. just let me be alone for a while.” She stared at him hoping she could convey her feelings. “Please.” She added after a while.

Luhan doesn’t respond and she just bowed her head when she felt the tears accumulating. It hurts. Why does it hurt so much? How much more can her father wreck her? How much more can she pretend it’s alright?

It’s hard to keep hatred inside especially if you had so much. A moment of relief, a moment of slight hope isn’t enough.

She clutched a hand on her chest as if squeezing it would stop her heart from beating. She wished it would so that the hurting would stop.

“Please don’t cry.” A warm feeling enveloped her as she was pushed into a firm chest. Luhan hugged her tightly and she doesn’t have the energy to fight back. It’s been seventeen years that she longed for someone to hold her like that and Minri could pretend for a while that everything is alright.

She blocked out everything around her as she continue to cry. She doesn’t even realize when Luhan planted a soft kiss on the top of her head.

 

“Yeah.. I guess. Tell Mr. Yoo I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon and he could discuss the details of the painting with me. Yes… Okay, thank you Jongin.”

She pocketed her phone and stare through the car’s window as they pass along the busy street of Gangnam.

“So how’s Jongin?” Yifan asked beside her.

The older insisted to drive her to the hotel they were having their reunion since it was the same hotel he has to meet his last client before leaving Korea.

“Last time I heard he has a girlfriend. Or probably broken up with her. I don’t know.” She shrugged.

Kim Jongin was her uh.. adoptive son(?). She met him in her Guangzho trip and she had taken an instant liking maybe because he’s a Korean orphan. He was often misunderstood by everyone due to his cold expression and intimidating aura but he’s actually a softie inside. Even though he’s only three years younger than her, she treated him like her son as what Yin would say.

“Finally got rid of his feelings for you, I guess.”

She laughed. “You know that was an exaggeration. It’s just I’m the first person who gave him a feeling similar to that of a parent.”

If she’s unfortunate of experiencing a parental love, she won’t wish it on anyone else.

“We’re here.”

Minri had to whistle once they got off the car and had a proper view of the said building.

“You’re a beast, dude. How did you come up with this kind of design?”

When Kyunghee first asked her help of choosing a venue for their reunion despite her reluctance, she suggested the building that Yifan had just recently finished designing. And since Yifan personally knew the owner, it’s easier to reserve a function room without the need for formalities.

“It’s because I’m amazing. By the way, what time do I need to fetch you?”

Minri contemplates. She doesn’t have a decent plan on what to do after she arrived at the venue. She specifically asked Kyunghee not to tell that she’s coming and she knew the younger never break her promise. And if that is the case, Kyunghee’s the only one who knew of her appearance. It’s easier to escape in case Luhan or Sehun arrives.

“Just come down at the function room when you’re finished with your meeting. I don’t intend to stay long.”

Yifan gave her a knowing look and their conversation earlier flashed on her mind.

“Isn’t this the time you patch any misunderstanding you had with them?”

Then again before she had the courage to face her father, she had to face her ‘gang’ first.

 

 

June 2008

 

“So I guess everybody is going to Yonsei?” Jonghee asked behind a glass of wine.

One week before their graduation and after confirming that everyone had taken the admission test for Yonsei, they decided to celebrate at Junmi’s house.

“Oh shut up Jonghee, we knew this is the start of your ‘we are one together forever speech’.” Baekhye threw her a Pororo doll.

Chanyeol and Luhan laughed while Sehun and Zitao high fived. “What? I only asked a question?” Jonghee whined.

But Minri can’t laugh with them, can’t join the affectionate banter of Baekhye and Jonghee, can’t help Junmi with calming down a hyper Chanyeol because she knew she won’t keep her promise.

She won’t be attending Yonsei with them. They won’t be seeing her after their graduation. She will be leaving them to find herself, her own dreams. She will break everyone’s trust and earn their hatred.

“Okay how about a cheer for that?” Luhan suggested beside her and all she could do is accept the glass of wine Kyughee was offering with a fake smile on her lips.

“For Yonsei!”

“Hey! What about our ‘we are one’ tagline?”

“Don’t go sentimental on us now, Junmi.”

“Yah!”

“Okay, it’s a promise guys!”

 

The function room was bustling with people. All dressed in elegant clothes, expensive jewelries as if boasting to everybody what they already achieved in the past years. Minri spotted few familiar faces like their batch’s secretary Jessica, Yoona – their batch’s Prom Queen, twice, with Luhan as the prom king and Minho – Luhan’s vice captain in soccer club.

She stayed at the back part where only few passed by watching as the function room gets filled. Kyunghee was running to and fro on the stage checking things while scolding Jonghee who was holding a guitar and mic. She had to smile at the visual. Kyunghee probably did all the responsibility she left as the batch’s vice president. Baekhye was chatting with someone unfamiliar, Chanyeol hovering at her. The two probably got together. Sehun and Luhan are still missing and she’s kind of relieved. All she needs to do is catch up with Kyunghee and then leave.

But her plan didn’t happen as Kyunghee never got off the stage. Minri had been standing for twenty three minutes already – she knew this because every once in a while she glance at her wristwatch. The function room had already turned into a chaos as Jonghee belt out rock songs. She can recognize few songs that their band back in high school composed.

She grabbed a glass of wine from the passing waiter. From the corner of her eyes, she saw a tall and lean man enter the function room and then she had to compose herself and stop from bolting out of the room. Sehun arrived and he was accompanied by Luhan.

“Acknowledging the arrival of our batch’s President with his ever handsome younger brother.” Jonghee said cheekily on the mic and Minri suddenly wanted to hide.

It was as if Jonghee’s words reminded Kyunghee that yes, aside from their president, the missing in action vice president of them has finally made an appearance. Kyunghee immediately searched on the crowd and without another minute, both their eyes met.

The first step that Kyunghee made towards the mic stand and Jonghee, Minri makes two towards the exit. The younger had a ‘oh no you don’t’ expression and she realized that there was no escape. She had to face this ghost of her past once and for all.

“Hey!” Jonghee exclaimed once the mic was pulled out of her grasp.

Kyunghee was still staring at her when she speaks. “Of course, how cruel of me to deprive everyone of the information that aside from our President, our Vice President decided to celebrate this reunion with us. Please, if you may, can bring her to the stage.” There was a smirk on Kyunghee’s lips and she knew the younger is enjoying this too much.

Without another minute, the spotlight was shifted to her. Literally and figuratively. Then there were hands pushing her and the next minute she found herself standing on the stage facing everyone. Facing her past she thought she would never come across again with.

She doesn’t care about anyone else but she could feel the burning gaze of Jonghee at her back as she tried to avoid Luhan and Sehun’s stare.

“Minri was actually the one who reserved this expensive function room for everyone and made this reunion possible.”

A resounding applause follows and Kyunghee passed the mic on her.

“Welcome back Min.” she whispered into her as she squeezed her shoulder.

She should feel at ease. Minri should take comfort at Kyunghee’s reassuring words but no she isn’t.

“I.. uh.. Enjoy the night everyone.” She accompanied it with a smile. The one she used everytime she got a deal closed. Detached. Business-like.

The response was hollers and shouts as the speaker once again turn on, blasting off ‘Sugarfree’ for the third time.

Minri scrambles off the stage, shoving bodies away and into the fire exit, replying greetings of ‘long time no see’ and ‘how are you’ with tight lipped smile.

She had to get away! She had to ing got away before anyone catches up to her.

“Minri wait!” she heard Baekhye shouts but she ignored it.

She walks past the fire exit and only one hallway left before the elevator. Just one damned hallway Minri. But luck wasn’t on her side as a hand clamped around her wrist and then she was whirled back.

By a panting Sehun.

“N..noona.”

Her expression immediately hardens. “Let go of me, Sehun.”

“No.”

She snapped her head and glared at him. Only to widen her eyes as Luhan had already followed them. And reality hit her hard.

She can’t escape them.

 

 

May 2008

 

Minri woke up due to her alarm clock ringing. She blinked for a few times trying to remember why she set it up in the first place.

Oh, yeah right. They had a gig tonight. She opens her lamp and glanced at the clock. Ten in the evening. She has more than thirty minutes to prepare. She just hoped dumb Luhan and her father were already asleep. But still it’s best to confirm it first.

Going out of her room, she was surprised to see the library room’s light was open and the door was half closed. So her father is still awake. Should she leave the house from her room’s window again?

Peering inside, Minri was more surprised to see Luhan as well. Oh , abort mission. Abort mission!

“I don’t think Minri would be happy about that Uncle.”

She stopped in her steps when she heard her name. Are they talking about her?

“Why do you say so?” her father asked and instead of walking away like she intends to, Minri pressed her ear at the half closed door.

“I believe that if Minri wanted to marry someone, it would be her choice not yours, Uncle.”

Marriage?

Eyes widened and hands trembling, Minri took a step backward.

No. no. no!

“But this arranged marriage will benefit her as well and I know that she would be in good hands. You don’t agree with me, Luhan?”

No!! She’s not going to marry someone she doesn’t even know! Her father can’t do this to her. Isn’t it enough she had no voice in this house that he had to marry her off to someone of his choice?

She’s not a ing property ready to shipped to other for convenience!

“No. I agree Uncle.”

She dashed into her room and tremblingly grabbed her phone, one thing on her mind. Why? Luhan too? Luhan, who she thought was the only one who understand her. She felt betrayed. Like someone slapped her and punched her in the gut.

“Yifan?.. Passport.. C-China.. please.” She didn’t even realize she was sobbing hard until Yifan told her to stop crying.

Her supposed gig was spent on Yifan’s apartment, a sobbing mess as Yin tried to comfort her from a laptop screen.

She had one month of freedom. One month before she would graduate high school. One month and she’ll going to give her best to fight for it.

 

 

June 2008

 

Graduation day.

Everyone is beaming. Parents and students alike as everyone proudly show their diploma, a solid evidence of their paid-off hard work. But Minri isn’t one of them. With the excuse of not feeling well, she refused Jonghee’s offer to drive her home. His father is busy showing off what Luhan and Sehun had achieved and this isn’t the time for her to be jealous. Her five awards are nothing as she throws the medals off her neck on Yifan’s car seat.

“Are you really sure you’re doing this Min?” Yifan sighed exasperatedly still not fond with the idea of being accomplice of this ‘run away’ mission.

“My freedom or their hatred.” She stared at him bravely. “I’ll choose my freedom.”

Seven hours after their graduation, aboard a plane bound to China with only her graduation dress as her only luggage, she run away from Korea.

Her freedom or their hatred? She chose her freedom. She could care less of what ‘they’ would feel. She’s tired of putting her father’s feelings first in line, tired of pleasing him. Now it’s time for her to do what she really wanted to do.

 

She sighed and run her fingers on her short hair. “Okay, you wanted greetings? Hi Sehun, how have you been? You too, Luhan? Can I go now? I have a flight to catch at dawn.”

She tried drawing her arm back but failed. Luhan had stayed at Sehun’s back as if giving the siblings their own time. But she didn’t want that. All she wanted to do is go back to Yifan’s apartment, pack her things and leave Korea.

“How could you do that?” Sehun hissed.

“Do what?”

“Don’t give me that kind of answer! Do you know.. do you know what father had been into after you decided to just disappear?” Sehun’s voice was getting louder and Minri’s thankful for a moment that they are in the fire exit hallway.

“Dad was diagnosed of heart disease one year after you left. I know he would never say a word to me, to Luhan hyung but he was depressed, stressed after you’re disappearance. Did it never occur to you? Huh?”

What?

“You.. noona.. You’re always like this. You’re too cruel. I took all of the shortcomings being your younger brother. But how can you do this to Dad?”

Why? Why was she blamed? The person who everyone calls as her father was the one who drove her to run away in the first place! She wanted to defend herself but the looks that Luhan and Sehun were giving her is unnerving.

Can’t she even have the right to be happy and free? Even for once?

“He was never a father to me Sehun. You and Luhan both know that.” She snarled and snatched her arms harshly.

“No. You’re too close minded and so full of hatred and bitterness that you want everything around you to suffer as well. You only accept the things you wanted, believe the things you deemed right. You’re so selfish noona.” Sehun’s voice is so full of anguish.

Minri wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

“. So I’m the one who is selfish here, the one who is close minded is that it? Did you already say you’re piece?” She put a palm across her eyes willing the tears to go back because she can’t show weakness right now.

“Don’t talk as if you know what I had to endure Sehun. You may be my brother but you knew nothing of me. When mother died and father remarried, did he ask for my permission? No. Not even a, ‘Oh hey Minri, you’re going to have another mother, is that alright?’ One day I was mourning mom’s death the next day I was supposed to celebrate his second wedding. And you say I’m close minded.”

“Tell me Sehun since you seemed to know so much about me what should I do? Of course being the good daughter I’m expected to be, I had to welcome her and you with open arms. Even if it hurts so much.”

She had long given up trying to hold her tears back. Just letting it travel down her cheeks along with all the anguish and hatred she cultivated inside her.

“When Luhan was adopted, it’s like the little existence that I had, had been totally wiped out. Whose birthdays were celebrated? Whose dreams were supported? I had to change a whole of myself to fit into his preference. I lost count of how many times the real Minri died and replaced by a person he wanted as a daughter.” She harshly wiped her tears with the back of her hands.

“It seemed petty and little to the both of you but it meant a whole thing for me. It meant acceptance, that familial comfort and everything that you have and I don’t.” Every word was punctuated with a jab of her finger to her left chest, to her heart.

“I’m trying to be whole again and you can’t do this to me Sehun. You can’t put all the blame to me. I won’t let you destroy me again.” She choked on her tears as she let the wounds of her past reopened again. “The man you called father was the same person destroying everything I have as a person. My self-confidence, my dreams, my freedom.”

She finally met both of their stares. “I’m not a ing puppet.”

“Minri?”

Their heads snapped at the sound of another voice. Yifan was standing at the other end, a confused and dark expression looming on his features. She wiped her tears.

“What happened here? A girl told me you went to the fire exit. Is everything.. why are you crying?”

God. Not tonight. She’s hasn’t gotten over from her confrontation with Sehun. A protective Yifan is the last thing she wanted to add into this mess.

“I’m okay. It’s good that you’re already here. We need to go.”

Yifan looked at her disbelievingly before finally relenting. “Okay.”

She was supposed to follow but a hand once again stopped her from walking. This time it was Luhan with a clouded expression. Now Minri doesn’t know how to react. Yifan looked back when he noticed she wasn’t following and he frowned upon seeing the tight grip Luhan has with her wrist.

“Excuse me but Minri and I need to go.” Yifan spoke authoritatively matching Luhan’s stare.

“Who are you?” Luhan asked rather menacingly. “Can’t you see that we are still talking?”

Yifan smirked and Minri doesn’t like where this conversation is going. “I don’t know about you but Minri doesn’t want to talk with you anymore. You heard it from her. She wanted to go already.”

Yifan tugged gently at her other arm and everything suddenly turned into a mini tug of war. But Luhan was nothing but persistent.

“So is this it? You’re so intent on lecturing Sehun about your freedom and you won’t even bother visiting Uncle. Is this the guy your run away with?”

What? Seriously what? Her expression probably was a mixture of dumbfound and scandalized.

“What are you saying?” she hissed and tugged at the arm that Luhan holds. This gesture seemed to anger the latter more.

“Why? Are you ashamed or is this the first time someone said it to you? Your father was weak and alone in the hospital and you won’t even give him a time of your day. But you seem to be in a hurry leaving with this guy.”

She had to squeeze Yifan’s hand to prevent him from doing something bad to Luhan, with the way Yifan’s arm tensed.

“Shut up Luhan. Just shut up before I lose the remaining respect I had for you.” she snarled. “Yifan has nothing to do with this.  He was the one who helped me when I needed it the most. Something that all of you failed to do.”

“Really now, Minri? Really? I was the one who was there with you. Everytime! When you had fight, when you were feeling down, when you had the urge to play soccer but you can’t, when-

“Yes. You were there and you were also there very eager to agree with father when he wanted to marry off her only daughter! And I thought I could trust you!”

Luhan looked stricken. “…w-what?”

Sehun was also surprised to hear this. “D-dad arranged you in a marriage?”

But Minri didn’t answer, instead spun on her heels and walked away.

“Luhan! Oh .” She heard Jonghee shout. When she turned back around, she saw Luhan on the ground, Yifan towering above him, fingers balled to a fist.

Jonghee and the others had finally caught up to them. Chanyeol immediately helped Luhan up and Minri was fast to hold back Yifan.

“Stop fighting, damn it.” Kyunghee hissed. “Luhan step back. Fighting won’t solve this problem.”

Kyunghee turned at her, exasperation on her face. Minri wanted to say sorry since Kyunghee probably planned an entire different scenario about their reunion.

“Yifan let’s go.” She whispered.

Yifan and Luhan stared at each other for some time before the former withdraw and walk back first. Minri remained for a moment staring at the people who were once part of her life, part of the old Minri.

“Min..” Jonghee started but she only shook her head. The tension is still high and if Minri wanted to make things right with them, she knew she had to draw back right now. The atmosphere is already ruined and hurtful words were already thrown.

“Enjoy the rest of the night. Goodbye.” She gave them a curt nod and followed Yifan. The word ‘I’m sorry’ was left out.

The ride back to Yifan’s apartment was filled with silence. Sehun’s words kept replaying on her mind.

Do you know.. do you know what father had been into after you decided to just disappear? Dad was diagnosed of heart disease one year after you left.

The news left a dull ache in her heart. When her mother died, Minri’s whole world died along with her. She was two years old back then and in her young mind, she would always remember how sweet and caring her father was. She had planned a lot ahead of what their life would be but everything shattered when her father turned cold, serious and strict. Five months after, he remarried and the distant memory of his warm hands and comfortable hugs faded and was replaced by a frowning and displeased expression.

Growing, Minri tried so hard to please her father, to be able to see those smiles again, that proud expression but nothing was going according to her plan. Sehun then came in the picture and she was suddenly out casted. Like all her efforts were washed away just by Sehun’s existence.

She never hated Sehun. That little goofball who would always follow her like a dumbstruck puppy that he is. She would play soccer to him, let him sleep in her bed and fed him lots and lots of gummy bears. But once an outcast would always be an outcast. Sehun was favored, it didn’t help that her relationship with her step mom is strained. And Minri understand for the first time that jealousy is an ugly feeling.

She grew up reserved, quiet and the little bond she had with Sehun disappeared. She treated everyone civilly. Like how a person would treat a stranger he met for the first time. Still, it didn’t stop her from longing of a parental love. She doubled her efforts to show her father that she also deserve his attention and praises.

To be only washed away again when Luhan entered their life. That doe eyed boy who would do anything to please her and have her acceptance. That boy that everyone thinks highly of. Who wouldn’t? Luhan was the only heir and his adoption into the family would up boost the image that his father carefully maintains.

They arrive at Yifan’s apartment with these thoughts mulling in her head. Part of her just wanted to forget everything and visit her father. The thought of his death stir something in her that she first felt when she learned the news of her mother’s death. Another part of her wanted to leave Korea as fast as she can, already longing the comfort that her well built routine – the one she created after making herself whole again – gave her.

She was already packing the small belongings she has when her phone vibrates in her pants’ pocket. Thinking it was probably Jongin, she didn’t even bother looking for the caller ID.

“H-hello? Minri?” Kyunghee’s trembling voice greeted her. It’s filled with nervousness and urgency and it’s the first time she heard the other like that and it made her anxious as well.

Before she could reply, Kyunghee beat her to it. “Sehun and Luhan.. they rushed out here and.. and I don’t know but Min, you’re Dad was rushed in the ICU earlier this night.”

Minri lost all her ability to think. Phone slipping from her grasp and falling into the carpeted floor with a resounding ‘thud’. Her father is dying.

Dying.

Death.

 

“Minri, I’m sorry but your mother passed away.”

“No! You’re lying. Mom said she would just sleep because she’s tired. She would wake up!”

 

“Minri, do you have any extra paper bag or something, I- hey, what happened?!”

Yifan was easily on her side upon noticing her trembling figure. She could only stare blankly at him while whispering, “My dad is dying..”

Yifan’s eyes widened and Minri doesn’t know what happened next. She could remember the older fumbling into her phone, drags her to his car despite the fact that he has a flight to catch with three hours.

 

 

Minri was slumped in the white floor of the hospital as she watched Sehun and her step mom talked to the doctor. Yifan was at her side albeit standing. The older refused to leave despite his flight reasoning that Yin would skin him alive if he left her to deal with this alone. It made Minri feel a little bit better. Luhan was inside, talking with his dad who recently just woke up.

“Are you Ms. Oh?” it took some time for Minri to register the name and the fact that she was indeed Oh Minri. Kim was just her mother’s surname and that she decided that she didn’t want to be called Ms. Oh after she’d run away.

“Yes.” She stands up with the help of Yifan and faced the doctor.

“Well, your father wanted to talk to you. He was surprised to hear that you were actually here.” The doctor motioned to her the door of his father’s room and Minri felt like she can’t move.

She had thought many scenarios of how she and her father would meet again. Her, already a successful woman and she would show her father that she can do it on her own, worthy to be an Oh. Of those, it didn’t involve him lying down on a hospital bed, weak and thin.

“Go. It’s time to patch up things with him.” Yifan whispered to her and slightly pushed her into the door.

She entered his room with a heavy heart. Luhan and his father both looked at her when she entered and Minri had to stifle her gasp upon looking at her father’s condition. He was so thin, different tubes with attached to his body, fingers limp and eyes so lifeless. It was different to the strong, strict and authoritative figure that was etched deep down her heart.

“I don’t believe when Luhan said you’re here. But I’m glad, so glad that you’re actually here.” He rasped.

Minri felt tears prickling her eyes so she blinked for a few times. She took few steps towards him, eyes on his bony chest because doesn’t know if she can hold her tears back is she met his eyes.

She maybe a rebel child, a prodigal daughter but she would never wish this situation to happen to his father just to get even back with him. All Minri wanted to do was show him that she could also succeed in her life without him caging her up, that she could make decisions on her own without him ordering her. And that she doesn’t need to marry her off just to bring a clean image to the family. She can please him if he would only let her.

“I..” she trailed off, didn’t know what to say.

“It’s alright. You don’t have to speak. Just seeing you standing beside my bed is enough for me.” He tried to raise his arm but was held back by the tubes attached to it.

“You looked so much like your mother now, so beautiful and independent.” Minri tried so hard not to choke on her sobs but failed. Her shoulders were trembling from holding back her sobs.

“W-why are you so cruel?” her voice came out garbled. “Why are you so unfair? You really know how to hurt me, Dad, do you know that?” she finally met his eyes and Minri can’t help her tears. His father’s lips were trembling, crying as well.

“I worked so hard, cast away all my emotions so that I could be a daughter you wanted so much. Prove to you that I’m also worthy of your praises, that I can stand on my own. I did all of those, Dad. I’m very ready to met you again and show you what I already achieved and then you have to be like this.” She wiped her tears harshly. “I felt like I’m the worst daughter at all. You’re probably laughing because after all this time I still felt lacking. I’m still the loser.  The stupid one.”

She didn’t care at the moment that Luhan was in the same room as her.

“Don’t say that. I’m very proud of you Min. So proud of you.” he tried to grasp her fingers that were balled tight at her sides. She didn’t flinch when he manage to.

“Then why dad? Why do you made me feel like this? Why do you have to hurt me so much? What did I do wrong?”

Her father sobbed so hard it took him some time to regain his breathing. Luhan was immediately at his side.

“I-I’m afraid that I will lose you as well like how I lose your mother. I failed to protect her and I’m scared that if I remain the same way, I would also lose you. I became stricter, colder and detached from you. I know it’s wrong but I don’t know what to do at that time. You were so young, my only daughter and I just wanted you to be safe.”

This time when her father tried to reach for her hand, Minri met him halfway.

“Your mother died when you were only two and I thought that you longed for a mother figure so I remarried hoping that the void that your mother left when she died would be filled up.”

“But Dad, you’re already enough for me.” She answered back and squeezed his hand.

“I didn’t know that at that time. I was too focused on ensuring your happiness. And then you slowly became quiet and reserved. I didn’t know what to do so I had set up all these rules, these stupid rules that had hurt you so much. I’m sorry, Minri. I’m so sorry.” He squeezed her hands many times.

“And the worst decision that I probably did was to think of marrying you off. When I realized that I failed as a father to you, all I wanted was to make sure you’re in good hands. You’re my only daughter, my precious first born and I would do anything to have you in good hands.  Luhan would take good care of you. Luhan would make you happy and I can probably die assured that once in my life I did something good to my daughter.”

Her head snapped up. Luhan? Luhan was her supposed to be fiancé? The older was staring at her with a sad expression on her face.

“But please don’t think that I’m caging you Minri. You are a strong woman just like you’re mother but I’m just a scared and coward man, afraid that if I let you free, I would lose you and you would never come back to me.”

The rest of her father’s words are garbled ‘I’m sorry’ over and over and Minri cried so hard. Each raspy syllable coming out of her father’s lips were like little needles prickling her heart. All was just a result of cowardice, an emotion Minri was so so much familiar with and yet she failed to notice it.

She cried so hard until she could no longer see, tears blurring her vision, until her hiccups made her breathing hard. She cried for the lost time. For the lost familial feeling. For the old Minri that died along the way, replace by someone who lost the ability to feel emotions. She cried for the many ‘what-ifs’ that could have happened and wished for the umpteenth time if she could just turn back the time.

 

Minri was once again slumped on the white hospital floor on his father’s now empty private room since he was still in the ICU. Yifan had left when there was only forty five minutes remaining before his flight. Yin and Kyunghee and maybe Jonghee as well had tried calling her but she refused to answer.

She didn’t know how long she was sitting on the floor, her back on the cold wall staring at her feet. She felt beaten up, as if all her will and energy had left her. She didn’t know what to do anymore. She refused to talk to the doctor afraid to know what the real condition of her father was.

The door suddenly opened but Minri didn’t bother paying attention to it. She only lifts her head up when she saw the familiar sneakers of Luhan near her legs. She stared at him lifelessly, blankly. Searching something in his eyes she didn’t even know what.

“You can now laugh. I won’t mind.” She said emotionlessly.

She heard him sigh and the next thing she knew she was pulled up and into his embrace. She didn’t fight, having no energy to do that.

“Why Luhan? Why are you still here with me? Why are you wasting your time with a loser like me? I failed Dad and I know I hurt you not only once but many many times.”

Luhan hugged her tightly while drawing patterns at her back, soothingly.

“I don’t know too. One thing I’m sure is that I wanted to take care of you. You’re not alone Minri. I’m here. I’m always here.”

He pushed away the stray hair from her face, cupped her cheeks and smiled at her. “Anything you will say about yourself won’t change how I felt about you. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, the most independent. No matter how much you pushed me away, I will always go back at you.”

“About the marriage, I don’t know how much you’ve heard but I wish you’d stay up at least until the part where I said my reason why I said yes to your father. I know that agreeing to that arrange marriage without your consent was probably the worst thing to do but how can I say no when I was presented the chance to be with you finally, to be able to take care of you.”

She opened only to be silenced by Luhan’s finger.

“Please let me finish first. I don’t know if I will have the courage to do this again next time.” He took a deep breath. “Ever since we were children, I really wanted to get your approval. It was first as a part of your family but as time goes by, I don’t know. I just wanted to see you smile, to hear you laugh, to listen to your whines and tantrums. But you hated me and I don’t know why I’m still hoping that you would at least see me as someone other than an older brother. Even until now.”

“Do you remember the bracelet that I gave you on our graduation day?” she nodded.

“It says ‘semper fidelis’.” She whispered afraid to ruin the atmosphere.

Luhan nodded. “Do you know what it means? It means always faithful.”

She lift her head and stare at the boy, no man that was always beside her no matter how much silent treatment he gave him back then, smiling at her like she did nothing wrong with him, like she didn’t hurt him. Minri thinks she doesn’t deserve all of it. The affection, the fondness in Luhan’s eyes.

“You don’t have any reason to be afraid. I’m will always remain at your side, my runaway bride.”

She looked away upon hearing those words. “Luhan..”

But Luhan just swipe a thumb on her cheeks along with a lone tear that manage to escape her eyes. “I know. I know that you don’t feel the same. I only wanted you to know that you can have me. All of me.”

 

Her father’s operation happened two days after and since Yifan already left Korea, Minri had no choice but to return home. Sehun and her relationship were back to square one but Luhan always manage to involve the two of them together in every conversation if possible. Her father was starting to regain his strength and even though she hasn’t vocalized her forgiveness, she knew her father already knew about it. Not that there’s anything to forgive. Everything was just a big misunderstanding.

Despite his offer for her to work and take over the family’s business, Minri refused. Sehun would be the rightful owner of that and she refused to give up painting and photography. Office work would just bore her.

One thing that she could say come out as a good result from all of this chaos and her staying in Korea for five months and counting was her new inspiration for her painting although Jongin had to frown at all the dark shades scattered artistically at her canvas when she requested for him to come to Korea to fetch her finished works, muttering ‘it’s summer for Pete’s sake, why does this look like Halloween, noona’.

“How many more man should I expect to come here just to see you?”

She whipped around and saw Luhan frowning, watching as Jongin exits their wide backyard and Minri had to stifle her laugh. Yifan visited a week ago, reasoning that Yin threatened her to see her personally to check her condition since the latter can’t leave Beijing due to her pregnancy. Minri laughed at the imagery, Yin with a round and protruding belly shouting at Yifan. Yifan is so whipped. But Luhan still have no idea that Yifan is already married.

“Jongin would be the last, I think.” This made Luhan frown more.

For the past few weeks of her stay here, Luhan had been at her side or rather at her back trailing her. At first she found it irritating but right now the action only made her feel safe.

“Is he your past boyfriend? Someone who can’t get over their feelings for you?”

This time Minri doesn’t hold herself back and just laughed. The first reason was Jongin who was almost a son to her, the thought of him being her boyfriend made her cringe. The second would be because of Luhan’s transparency. She could see jealousy written all over his face.

Shaking her head, she went back inside the house.

“Should I say, you’re already engaged to me and that we’ll be getting married or I’ll just say we’re already married? Yeah, the second option would much better.” Luhan trailed after her.

In Minri’s gratitude, Luhan never force his feelings to her but he’s very vocal about his jealousy no matter how hard he try to deny it. And it actually made Minri’s heart skip a bit.

“And what would Jongin say if he saw that I still have no ring on my finger?”

Luhan blinked. And blinked again. And again before spluttering some more non sense Minri swear she could hear Sehun’s laugh from the living room.

Cute.

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A/N: if you’re reading this then you’re probably finish that monster fic a lame excuse for a fic of mine.. haha. I don’t know what to say. Since I said this would be a romcom type, you probably expected comedy, hahaha sorry, this turned out into a entire different fic. Thanks for reading.