Jeon Jungkook knew that he was born to be a loner. Loneliness itself was his bests friend. He savored the bitterness of living alone with such ease. As if he was trained from the very beginning. He was a robot, programmed to be that way for the rest of his life. For seven years, he breathed with this philosophy. A broken mindset of a little boy.

On his seventh birthday, his life changed; Completely. It was just another Saturday morning. Saturday means the busiest day at his house. Everyone would like to have an appointment on Saturday. Either to play with his siblings or choosing the best child that fulfilled their taste to be adopted. Everything was normal, in his opinion.

No one remembered his birthday. Yes, it was indeed normal.

"Jungkook, it's your turn to take over the counter. I'm done for today." A tall boy gave him a light pat on his shoulder before disappearing behind two ragged curtains. 

Obediently Jungkook moved behind the counter. Ten minutes of doing nothing, he glanced all over the lobby before loud giggles and shrieks reached his hearing. He whipped his head towards the garden. Eyes trained on all his younger siblings that were engrossed playing with their soon-to-be-family. Something ticked inside his heart but he doesn’t seem to mind. It's not jealousy if he need to explain. Just a feeling that was too abstract for a little kid like him to explain. Since Jungkook knew better that not all of them would leave this house. 

He lived here for years already! (mind you, it was just seven years) Immature Jungkook thought he knew everything. I stayed here long enough. I'm a big guy. I know everything. All these self praising quotes were actually destroying his positive thoughts. With no one to guide this lost child, Jungkook chose to live up by his belief. He believes that he was a no one. He believes that nobody ever noticed him. He believes that he was different. Once, he even doubted that the orphanage headmistress knew him. Which was a total nonsense if you ask the headmistress.

Jungkook was not broken, but he chose to break himself. Blame the loneliness. He didn't have even the slightest clue of what his philosophy might lead him into. He's digging his own grave. A big black hole was conjured every time he self-praised himself. Silently, he was killing his own self. 

When you're lonely, there would always be an empty slot somewhere inside your heart. Normally, that empty slot would always went away after we got over with our loneliness. It just won't work for this different boy. That empty slot was like a piece of him. It was just too precious. Even greater than his own life. It was his other half. And throughout seven years living, he can't seem to find the missing piece. 

It was a nagging feeling and could be quite irritating at times. Jungkook knew better though. He chose to suppress. He was not that different than a compressor. Piling things up before pressing it down with all your might, and threw it away. That was how a seven year old Jeon Jungkook viewed his life and himself.

Fate was never dull though. Indeed, they were always full with surprises and twist of events. Jungkook knew it immediately that he was just a step behind, before his fate changes. A week after his birthday had passed, a lady in her mid forties came and requested for him. He was torned, between going to her and got adopted (which was a total backfire from what he chose to believe) or acting as if he was sick where he could skip the meeting completely.

Desire was and would always be a man's weakness.

He's just a confused little boy, not yet a man. He doesn’t understand what desire is. He don't know why he's acting all tough outside even inside he's drowning. He knew that he’s drowning in denials. He was purely afraid at the thought of being abandoned.

Nightmares would always steal his sweet sleep away. Vivid visions on how he was found by the headmistress played over and over again. But it was never in a clear state. There would always be a missing part or blurred ones. The only thing that surfaced the most in his dream is the sky. A sky that was as black as coal, a scary and horrendous one. 

"Jungkook, congratulations! You will move in with Madam Deyne." 

He's lost. Moving in with whom? When did I even agree to this? What's happening? Am I being adopted?

Despite the questions, Jungkook body got the mind of its own. It moved as if it was hypnotized by this Madam Deyne. He did as he was told. To bid goodbyes towards his 'family', load his small pack of clothes that he called baggage inside the trunk and sat down on the passenger's seat, right beside Madam Deyne.

They started off their journey late. When Madam Deyne's car pulled out from the orphanage, the sky was already dusted with orange-ish blush. The young boy was certain that it'll be a very long journey. Not for him though, Madam Deyne is the one driving. The engine's roars were loud. Although not loud enough to cut down the radio. It was set at Jungkook's favourite channel. And fifteen minutes into the journey, his life song was aired. 

And I don't wanna let this go,

I don't wanna lose control,

I just want to see the stars with you.

And I don't wanna say goodbye,

Someone tell me why.

I just want to see the stars with you.

“You have a sweet voice. I like it.”

Silence. Jungkook was still reluctant to speak. “You like stars, Jungkook?” As Madam Deyne thought her attempt to talk with Jungkook fades, came a timid reply. “No, but I like the song.”

“Great, we’re on the same boat then.”

Jungkook can’t withstand the silence any longer too. “Why is he so persistent to see the star though?”

“Well, from what I know, this song is about a person with an incurable disease. Maybe he was lonely and found himself a partner. You know like someone to company him,” she casted a glance at Jungkook who was looking outside the window. “Then… what happen?”

Shrugging, Madam Deyne said, “I assume he just can’t let go of his accompany that easily. Although he knew that his time is cutting short. Wanting to see the stars maybe one of his last wish. A wish that he don’t get to fulfill.”

There was a word that caught Jungkook’s attention. He turned sideways and now facing with a focused Madam Deyne. Apparently it was already dark outside and there was no light post in sight. The road would be pitching black without the help from shining stars up above.

“What’s a wish?”

The older woman was quite taken aback by the question. She pondered over before concluding, “Apparently, it’s something that you desired, or hope for from the deepest part of your heart. Wish is quite abstract Jungkook. You can’t explain it easily like talking.”

“Then what should I do to know more about wish?”

“Wish for something then. From the deepest part of your heart.”

With that said, both Jungkook and Madam Deyne fell silent. No more conversations just the radio accompanying their peaceful journey. And not to forget, all the stars that seemed to twinkle brighter than usual.

A wish… from my heart…