My dreams were catching up to me.  Last night, after I told myself that I didn’t want any part of him, Jin showed up in my dreams once again.  It was a blur of what exactly happened, but all I know was that it left me with a more tender impression of him.  The only thing I remember from my dream was that I was in bed, woken up by him in the darkness, only lit slightly by the moonlight, and he was sitting next to me on the bed, brushing the hair out of my face and caressing my face gently.

Then, he smiled.  He never smiled as softly as he did in my dream.  He never smiled period.  I don’t even know where my brain conjured up such an angelic image, but I was too stricken with its calm serenity that I didn’t bother questioning it.  I was so tired, and he put me back into another dream with his soft caresses.

The rest of the dream was a blur.  I just woke up calmer than I have since I’ve been here.  I’ve always awoken with fear that something happened to me.  But not today.  I felt strangely...tranquil.  And that alone made me feel weirded out.

I got ready as I normally did each morning.  I walked into the kitchen, hoping to skip breakfast before Jin got up this time.  I didn’t want to face him after yesterday’s fight and last night’s dream.  I needed time to sort out what to do with my mental state first.

Hurriedly, I got a bar out from the cabinet and gulped down half a glass of juice.  Just as I was about to escape in my haste, I nearly crashed into Jin, who was standing there.  His entire body blocked the doorway.  I was so close to crashing into him that I got close enough to only see his lips in my sight.  I backed away quickly and stared at him.  I don’t know if it was the dream I had, but he looked...different.  His face no longer held an angry scowl and his eyebrows were relaxed into a normal position.  He just looked so much more gentle today.

“You’re not gonna skip out on breakfast, are you?” he asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I sheepishly looked down.  He knows everything, as usual.

“Come, sit down and eat, or else you’ll get hungry later,” he chided lightly as he stepped into the kitchen and started setting up the table.

I stared after him.  It was my first time hearing him use such a soft tone.  I was taken back.  I watched his back as he worked as if it was his natural position to be in the kitchen preparing food.  He was wearing a light burgundy colored sweater and skinny sweatpants, and his hair was a tousled mess.  I must still be dreaming, I thought, pinching myself.

I hadn’t realized that he was done setting the table until he stood in front of me and snapped his fingers.  “Are you gonna stand there all day now?” he chuckled at me, his eyes slightly closing.

“I’m coming,” I responded quietly and I walked towards the table, sitting down.  As usual, Jin sat across from me.  I avoided looking at him and ate as quickly as I could so I could get out of here.  This day was getting weirder and weirder the more time passed.  I expected him to be eating, but instead he just stared at me.  His face was emotionless, but it wasn’t the same type of emotionless face as before.  There was no hostility in his eyes, no dark undertone in his expression.  He looked normal for once; gentle, tender even.

No, no, pull yourself together, he’s still the same scary gang member behind this face.

“You’re not eating?” I asked, trying to make myself less uncomfortable.  His strange behavior was scaring me slightly.

He shook his head in response.  “Um…”  He looked down for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts.  “Look, I’m...sorry about yesterday.  I know I scared you a lot.  You probably don’t understand me, and you don’t want to stay here either.  But...thank you for staying.”

I was shocked.  He was apologizing?  And thanking me?  For what?  Why now?  “It’s ok.  And it’s no problem.  I’ll stay for as long as I need to so I can be safe,” I said, maybe a little curt.  Safe my , he’s just as much of a threat!  I pushed the thought away.

He continued to just stare at me.  “It’s Friday, right?  I know you have to work again tomorrow, but let’s go out to eat tonight.  And go explore the city here a little.”

If his apology shocked me, this was a whole different level.  Since when was he being so nice to me?

“Yeah, it’s weird I guess,” he said as if he was reading my thoughts, scratching the back of his neck.  There’s that oddly cute and awkward behavior like the first day I was here.  I wondered if he was aware that he was doing that, and that it takes away from his bad guy image.  Just a smidgen.  “But I want to make it up to you after what I did yesterday.”

I was at a loss for words.  Had he finally decided to open up or something?  What kind of divine revelation was this?  Did it have to do with his friends that were here yesterday?  Nonetheless, I still said, “Sure, after I come back from work.”  My words were met with another heart melting smile from him.

I came back from work in a hurry, but I deny that the reason was because of Jin.  It was a Friday night and I figured that it would be better than sitting in the house doing nothing.  I got inside the house, but I didn’t see Jin anywhere, strangely.  I just shrugged because I figured he was in his office doing something, and I should just hurry to go shower to get all my working stench off of me.

I came out of the shower and looked at the minimal amount of clothes that I had to work with.  I realized that this is a real problem.  Sighing because I foresaw regret, I dialed Yeri’s number.

“You’re going out with him?!” she yelled when I was done telling her what was going on that night.

“Yes, I am,” I responded dreadfully, staring at the dismal pile of clothes.  “But it’s not a date, it’s more like an apology dinner.”

“Wait, why?” she asked quickly.

“Long story, I’ll tell you some other time.”  I felt too stressed out over what I was gonna wear that I didn’t want to waste my energy trying to retell last night’s events.  “Just help me pick a general outfit, I have almost nothing to work with for a night out to dinner, I only packed for during the day when I have to go to work.”

After Yeri guided my poor, unfashionable soul, I stepped out of my room and walked to the living room where I waited for Jin.  I examined myself in a hallway mirror.  I picked out a lot of knits actually; I had a knit beige sweater, black cardigan, cropped and folded boyfriend jeans, and grey ankle boots.  I kept both my makeup and my accessories simple since I wasn’t really looking to impress anyone.

Ha, that’s funny because I was stressing as if I was going to impress someone.

I heard footsteps approaching me.  Turning around from my reflection, I saw Jin pulling up the sleeves of his sweater up his forearm.  Scanning downwards, I noticed that he was wearing skinny dark blue jeans and some black sneakers.  I looked up at his face.  His bangs were down and slightly covering his eyebrows.  He seemed to also be staring at me.

“You look great,” we said at the same time.  A blush crawled up my ears as I looked down.

“Thanks,” I said softly.

A small smile graced his already-handsome features.  “Shall we go?” he asked.

I nodded and followed him out the door.  We walked towards the subway, because taking the car would be such a hassle with parking, especially if we wanted to walk around afterwards.

Boarding the train, we both stood up, holding onto the poles.  Jin turned to me and looked me in the eyes.  “So, where do you feel like eating?”

I hummed in thought.  “To be honest, I really was craving meat more than usual today.”

“Just meat in general?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m the meat type of person,” I admitted softly.

Jin chuckled.  “That’s okay, meat loves everyone.  At least you aren’t afraid of admitting it.  I know a great place where we can eat the best meat in town.”

I nodded, shifting my weight slightly onto the pole.  I was a little tired from the light sleep caused by my dreaming, and from the stress of work.  Plus, public transportation puts me to sleep in general.

Jin took notice.  “You tired?” he asked, tilting his head in concern.  Another absentminded gesture.

I rubbed my eyes slightly.  “Yeah, I guess work has just caught up to me this-”  The train suddenly halted to a quick stop, making me lurch forward.  Jin caught me by my arm as I almost slammed into his chest.  My heart was thumping, being that I was so close to him.  I looked up and saw him smirking down at me.

“You must really like almost bumping into me, you’re doing it a lot today,” he teased.

I pulled back and clung to my own pole again.  “I-It’s just coincidence,” I reasoned.  The scent of his cologne was still in my nostrils even from this distance.

He looked down and shook his head at me.  “I’m just teasing.”  There was a tiny glint in his eyes when he looked up at me again.

Eventually, we got to our stop and exited the station.  Jin led the way down the brightly lit city street.  We walked next to each other, side by side and not saying a word.  I was relieved that I wouldn’t need to talk to him.  I was still confused.  Why was he being so nice to me today?  It can’t just be that he’s trying to make up for what he did yesterday.  I turned to stare at his face.  It’s like he’s a completely different person from the Jin I know.  Even his resting facial expression was more relaxed as opposed to his typical resting face.

I turned back ahead of me, smiling to myself for nothing.  Maybe this would start a change in our relationship?  Maybe we would became more comfortable with each other around the house?  I don’t know, but I just hope so.

Jin took us to a hidden little barbecue restaurant in a less-populated street.  We found a table near the back and settled in.  Jin ordered for the two of us.  And from what it sounds like, he ordered a lot of food.  He must have seen the bewilderment on my face when he was done ordering, because he started laughing at me.

“How much food did you order?” I asked timidly.

“A lot…?” Jin said, still smiling happily, his eyes dancing.

I was gaping.  I didn’t know what to say to the man in front of me that just ordered enough food for a banquet.  My reaction was even worse when everything actually came to the table.

“HOLY FREAKING HOW MUCH DID YOU BUY??!!” I screamed.

Jin was too busy his lips at all the meat and food in front of him.  “I had a lot of cravings today, so I must satisfy all of them,” he said, dreamily staring at the food like he had won the grand prize from a food magazine.

It turns out that he didn’t just order meat.  Oh no, Jin went the full nine yards and ordered everything.  The meat set he ordered came with vegetable tofu soup, plus he ordered dumplings, a bowl of cold, sticky glass noodles, and a kimchi pancake.

I was switching between gawking at the food and gawking at the skinny twig of a man across from me.  “Who the hell is gonna finish all of this?!” I asked. More like how is he gonna pay for all of it!?

“Me of course,” he said nonchalantly as if he was talking about the weather, picking up his chopsticks.

I stared at his skinny little twig body.  I’ll admit that there was probably some muscle in his arms, but other than that, this guy was thin!  A little stick thing!  I know I’ve said variations of this so many times, but I can’t stress it enough!  My head was hurting with all the questions in my mind.

“If it makes you feel any better, I purposely kind of skipped eating all day so I could have room for this,” he said, placing the meat on the grill to start cooking.

That didn’t really help console me at all.

I decided to just give up on trying to understand how a stick like him could finish all this food.  The table could barely even fit it all!  Still, I didn’t bother fighting and started cutting up the pancake.  Jin started separating the noodles from each other so we could take our helpings, and then cracked the egg into the soup.  Soon, the meat was ready to eat and we started portioning it.  Jin took majority of it, but somehow still managed to be courteous enough to give some to me.  I was okay with it since I didn’t really eat a whole lot anyway.

Unlike him.

When he said that he would finish all that food, I didn’t think that he would actually finish most of it in one sitting!  I came to the conclusion that this guy had a black hole for a stomach; it was the only reasonable explanation.  But to be quite honest, I don’t think I mind it so much that he eats a lot.  I found myself drawn to his eating expression.  As weird as it may sound, he was almost cute, in the adorable way, while he ate.  His wide eyes would sparkle, his thick bottom lip would curve into an almost smile, his cheeks would puff into a rounder shape, his bangs would cover his eyebrows and border his eyes, giving him an innocent appearance.  The sight was enough to...make my heart melt.

Yes, I said it.  Jin makes my heart burst with emotion.  I didn’t want this to happen, I wasn’t expecting it to happen.  I didn’t expect the man that held me almost in his possession, that misplaced me from home, that treated me so tersely, would stir up such emotions in me.  I didn’t think I would fall for him.

Of course, this could all just be some kind of Stockholm Syndrome type of thing; I’ve gotten used to his presence, his actions, his attitude, so I confuse familiarity with romantic feelings.  But I’m not used to this soft side, I couldn’t have been familiar with this.  Who knew that I would realize I had fallen in love while watching this man eat?  I smiled to myself at that thought and ate another bite of kimchi.

“How do you have such a huge appetite?” I asked, watching him wolf his food down his throat.

“I don’t know”  His answer was muffled by his mouth full of ssam.  “I’m a growing boy.”  He chewed for a while and swallowed.  “Besides, I grew up eating a lot, so I haven’t really grown out of eating huge meals.”

He never really talked about his family.  He never talked about his past at all actually.  I used this as a conversation starter, to get him to open up a bit more.  “What were your parents like?”

A somber smile spread across his face.  “Well, Mom really loved me, and treated me well.  Always fed me, took care of me.”

No kidding, you could eat a horse if it was possible.  I noticed that he was using the past tense, and he didn’t mention his Dad.  “What about your dad?”

Jin’s face darkened.  “Dad died when I was 7,” he answered tersely.  “In a...house fire.”  He stuffed his mouth with more noodles.

“Oh....”  I didn’t know how to respond to that.  “I’m...sorry I asked.”

“Mom died a few years ago when I graduated high school, she was in a car crash,” Jin went on muttering darkly.

I felt terrible for asking.  I was opening up wounds in him that I had no right to open.  “I’m really sorry, Jin.  Just forget I asked anything-”

“No, it’s ok,” he assured me.  I looked up and saw his eyes seeing right through mine, clouded with an emotion I couldn’t place.  A shiver went down my spine as I was reminded of his face before today, his old, usual self that frightened me.  As abruptly as I saw it, it went away and he took another piece of meat off the grill.  “So what about your parents?”

I blinked, unsure of and taken back by what I just saw.  “Well...I never knew my mother, she died giving birth to me.  I grew up with my dad and a bunch of his gang member friends that I called uncles.  But Dad died when I was in my freshman year of college, when your old gang killed him I guess,” I answered him.  I stuck a piece of the pancake into my mouth.

“Well, at least we have something in common,” Jin said.  “Both of our parents are no more, and we’ve been alone up until this point.  But at least now we’re alone together.”  He offered a wry smile.

“Yeah...I guess so…”  Two broken children that grew up under gang households.  Maybe it was just fate that the two of our broken hearts were meant to stay together.

We finished our dinner in a cramped silence after that.  I was afraid that I had lost the Jin that I knew earlier today after that conversation we had.  I wanted to bring that sweeter Jin out.  We were walking next to each other towards the train station, slower than when we came.  It was partially because we ate so much, but it was mostly because of the tension that was kept between us.  I wanted to bring up a lighter subject.

“Jin-”

“Ara,” he called my name before I could raise my voice and ask my question.  His head turned and his eyes melted into mine.  Then, he smiled softly at me.  “Seokjin.  My name is Kim Seokjin.”

I was taken back by both the smile and his statement.  He asked me to call him by his full name.  Does that mean…

“Seokjin,” the name rolled off my tongue easily.  I could see slight satisfaction in his eyes when I said it.  “Am I the first girl that you’ve taken out to dinner?”

“No, you’re not,” he answered, his smile drooping a little.  “But you are the first to experience my large appetite.”

“Why?  You think they’d be scared of the monster in your stomach?” I joked.

He chuckled.  “No.  I only showed you because I don’t really need to keep up appearances with you.”

I was confused.  “What do you mean?”

“Girls that I’ve gone out with think that a pretty model-faced boy with a skinny body doesn’t eat much.  So I play that part for them, to hide my real identity as a former gang member of course,” he answered.  “But you already know, so what’s there to hide of my past from you.”

“So, does that mean I’m also the first girl that knows your real name?” I asked quietly.

He hesitated in one of his steps, turning to gaze into my eyes.  “Well, yeah.  Besides NamJoon’s sister for obvious reasons.”

My heart clenched involuntarily.  “And that reason being...?”

Jin stopped walking and turned to face me fully.  “Ara, she only knows because her brother and I are friends.  Not because of...whatever else you’re thinking.”  His eyes were boring into mine.  I could only see the truth in them, but I didn’t know if I should really trust it.

I looked down at my shoes and we started walking again.  “Have you hooked up with girls besides her?” I asked, a part of me not really wanting to know the answer.

“I have,” he said honestly.  “But I never got too far with them, physically and emotionally,  I never really cared for a deep, serious relationship.”

I played with the hem of my sweater.  “It’s just...when I saw the two of you...you just seemed like...like you were just that kind of guy.  The kind of guy that sleeps around with a lot of girls.”

He hummed in thought.  “Maybe I am, but not on purpose,” he said softly.  “Actually...I haven’t had......with any girl before,” he confessed, digging his hands in his pockets.  His head was down in a failed effort to conceal his flushed face.  “I always tease girls and I hook up with a lot of them, but I’m not that stupid type of guy that can’t control his hormones.  I’ve always said to wait until I meet the right girl.  So the only time I will ever do it is then.  Or when I just can’t control my hormones and I end up doing it.”

“Gee, look who’s trying to hide being a playboy,” I teased, my heart slightly sinking though.

“I mean it though, I really wanted to wait for the right girl to have really...loving with.”  He looked at me then.  “So how many guys have you slept with?”

“Ok let’s just stop with this conversation, I’m getting uncomfortable,” I said quickly, easily flustered by his question.

“That’s not fair, I shared already.”  Jin smiled and bumped my shoulder.  “Come on, how many?  I won’t judge.  No secrets remember?”  He paused and looked at my flushed face.  “You haven’t had yet?  Is that it?  Don’t tell me you’re still a ?”  He scanned me up and down.  “Nah, you’re pulling my leg, you probably have had with at least one guy before.  With a figure like that I’m sure there were at least some guys that wanted you.”

My heart skipped a beat.  “You think I have a nice figure?”

He turned his head back to look at me.  “Like a model’s body,” he said softly, his eyes set on me seriously for a few agonizing seconds.  He then turned back ahead of him with a chuckle.  “But I wouldn’t be shallow enough to only care about you figure.  Besides, your personality is such a turn off.”

I scoffed.  “What do you mean by that, Mr. I’m-So-Scary-I-Might-As-Well-Be-Bipolar?”

“You’re so careless,” he snorted.  “What kind of girl would trust any guy that she just met on the dance floor at a club?  And then goes back home where a gang might be waiting to abduct her again?  Don’t you have any sense of danger?  I wouldn’t want to have to look after a girl like that 24/7 without thinking she was gonna escape me and then get captured, I can’t live with that stress.”

I scoffed.  “Well, excuse me.  If that’s what we’re going by, I shouldn’t even be here with you.  You’re an ex-member of the gang that tried to kill me, yet you took me in and sheltered me.  How am I supposed to trust you when for all I know you’re just waiting to stab me in the back?”

“You’re right,” he admitted dryly.  “You shouldn’t trust me.”

I turned to look at him, only seeing his side profile as he stared stoically in front of him.  I was overtaken by fear, and reality smacked me in the face.  A chill ran down my spine as I finally registered everything.  It was as if a curtain had been lifted from the truth kept inside my head.  All this time, I had thought of the danger of staying with Jin, but it never fully processed that I could potentially die every second I stay with him.  I could even die standing right next to him right now!  “Then what am I doing here?” I whispered out loud to myself.

I saw Jin turn to me so quickly that I thought he would get whiplash.  He opened his mouth to say something, but I didn’t let him.  Fear fueled my veins as I took off into a run, trying to put some distance between me and this killer that I had so foolishly thought I was safe with.  I was so stupid that I hadn’t thought of this sooner.  I thought I was safe with him, that I could trust him when he says he doesn’t work with his gang anymore.  I’m so gullible, it’s unbelieveable.  I felt like smashing my head against the nearest building, but I couldn’t do that now; I had to run far away from him.

“Ara, stop!”

I couldn’t listen to him, I refuse to.  He had buttered me up all this time and blinded me from the truth that was glaring me in the face.  But I knew I was in danger now; his footfalls were heavy and defined behind me, signalling that he was running and that he was close behind me.  I ran straight through a park, not minding if I was kicking up sand.  But I faced too many challenges at this point; I could barely hear his footsteps since we were running in grass, and the little bit of noise was all drowned out by my heartbeat hammering in my ears, signalling that I was getting tired quickly.  I tried speeding up, but my limbs would not let me speed up faster for more than a few steps before I found myself running slower than my original pace.

I felt arms grasp around my waist suddenly.  I lost my footing as both of us fell down, the soft grass catching us as I screwed my eyes shut.  I fell on my back with him above me.  I started screaming and trying to land a punch on his face, my hands erratically flying around and missing.  “Let go of me!  Get off!  Go away!  Leave me alone!”

He caught both of my hands and pinned them next to my head.  “Stop screaming!”

Of course that only made me scream louder.  I felt his weight pressing down onto my legs to keep them from kicking.  I was convinced that I was going to die right there.  I stopped screaming and huffed to catch my breath.  “Just kill me already!” I cried.  “Why did you waste so much time on me before?  I trusted you so much already, you could’ve finished me so easily!”  I kept babbling on.  I wanted it to be over already, just for him to get on with it and kill me.

“Ara, stop.  Open your eyes,” his voice came out soft while I was gasping for air between cries.

I don’t know why I still listened to him, but it probably had to do with the fact that I had nothing to lose anymore.  I opened my eyes and saw him, leaning over me with his weight still on me.  His face was as close to mine as yesterday when I came home.  He was furious then.  But now, I could see his eyes burning with a passion that wasn’t really hostile.

“Ara,” my name rolled off his tongue gently.  “If I really wanted to kill you, I would have taken you out already in your sleep.  I would’ve even finished you off yesterday when I was furious at you!  But I didn’t.”  His eyes softened.  “I only said you shouldn’t trust me because it was true, for any other circumstance like this.  But this is different.  I want you to trust me, put your faith in me, so I can keep you safe.”

I looked up at him, still confused and scared.  This all had to be a trap, he was setting me up for disaster.

“And if I wanted to kill you now, I would do it too.  I already outran you and have you pinned under me, who can stop me from taking a knife and slitting your throat?” he went on.

I flinched at the gruesome image that flashed through my head.  But I was slowly starting to relax.  The muscles in my arms rested, and my tensed legs unclenched.  I looked around, not wanting to see his face.  “You’re right, I-I’m sorry I ran off-”

He suddenly pressed his lips against mine.  Every nerve in my body shot up and every muscle tensed once more.  I couldn’t believe what was happening.  My eyes were wide.  Jin...was kissing me.  His hands released his hold on my arms and went to cup my face, kissing me repeatedly.  I couldn’t move, I didn’t move my hands to push him off.  Instead, I let myself be frozen under his spell.  His kisses were rough, desperate even, like he’s pleading.  He wanted me to stay with him.

Just when I was about to close my eyes and submit myself completely, he pulled away as abruptly as he started.  He sat himself up on top of me, and coughed awkwardly.  “Sorry, I couldn’t control it,” he apologized.

I couldn’t say anything.  The words and questions were gathered in the back of my throat as a garbled, unorganized mess that I couldn’t vocalize.  “It’s ok,” was the only answer I could manage.

Jin got off of me and stood up, helping me to my feet as well.  “So, you’ll stay, right?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

Still dazed, I just answered with a nod that I regretted doing as soon as I did it.  But it just seemed like the easiest thing to do with my mind still swimming under the surface.  If anything, I’ll figure out a way to get out of there tomorrow.  We walked back towards the station, got back on the train, and walked back to the house.  Neither of us said a word, standing a foot from each other.  We got back inside and I bolted for my room, closing the door behind me with a hurried slam.  No matter how many times I tried, I couldn’t stop replaying that kiss in my head.

Defeated by the flashbacks and hating myself for it, I just changed my clothes for bed and burrowed under my sheets.  I couldn’t stop touching my lips or shaking away the butterflies in my stomach.  I fell asleep soon after, apparently still thinking about it because I had another dream of him.

A/N: Well things just got a bit weird hm?  With the story ending in another 2 chapters and an epilogue, anyone wanna try making some predictions?

The next chapter will have some in it, so be aware (wow this might give a hint to the ending...).  However, the entire chapter isn't going to have , so there will be some actual story in it.  I will be using breaks to separate the scene from the rest of the story for those of you that don't wish to read it.

I want to thank user Ashkhan.  I really look forward to seeing your comments after I post my chapters since I'm used to you writing them I guess haha~ I look forward to your prediction the most actually (no pressure XD).

Also thanks to both upvoters on the story. I'm shocked that you would actually waster your karma points on me, so thank you /90 degree bow/

I'm also going to start shopping around and looking for graphic shops since I at making posters, so I'm probably gonna put it up when I post the epilogue hopefully if all goes well.  Not too keen on the idea of a layout either, only if I really like one.

Wow, listen to me blab boring nothingness.  See you guys next chapter~!  Have a great day/night/afternoon~