It's been 3 months. 3 months since our break up. And also 3 months since I last saw her. The day after our 'break up', I heard she immediately ended her internship in YG, which is two months earlier from the assigned time. 

“Sajangnim.” I called his attention as soon as the meeting ended.  We are now on our way to our photoshoot.

He looked at me with raised brows. “Uhm...” I was hesitant to ask but I chose to. “...where is ______?”

“Oh!” he exclaimed, remembering something, “she ended her internship a few hours ago.”

My body stiffened. I can’t believe what I just heard. “Why?”

“She told me she has to go back to her hometown. She needs to handle some family problems. Why do you ask?”

“Nothing.” I said with my head lowered, “I just....I’m not used to not seeing her around.” I reasoned.

He just nodded, believing my reason. Once he walked ahead of me to talk to our managers, I quickly wiped the tear that escaped my eye.

She left. She freaking left. She left without giving me the chance to explain.

I tried to find her. Hell, I even took a month off, which I have to almost kneel just so Yang can agree, just to roam almost the whole Korea, with the hopes of finding her. He took off all of our schedules for my so called one month break. Of course, I felt guilty. Dragging my bandmates with my own problems. But it didn’t stop me from finding her.

“Yo, Ji!” I’m holding my baggage, ready to leave. “Where are you going?” Seunghyun hyung asked me.

I shrugged, “Maybe roam the whole Korea to find my inspiration.”

They burst out laughing. Totally oblivious to what my ‘inspiration’ means. Of course, except for Seungri, who know everything.

“Seriously?” hyung said after their laughter, “the great G Dragon, lacks inspiration? You can write 3 songs in a day!”

“I know, hyung. But I can’t do it anymore.” I took a deep breath, “Not without my inspiration.”

Feeling the serious aura around me, they just nodded. “Okay, just don’t take too long, okay? We can’t live without you!” Youngbae, being my bestfriend, took the courage to lighten up the mood.

I plastered a fake smile, “Of course.” I said before exiting the door.

As soon as I shut the door close, I took out my phone to look at the pictures that holds our memories together.

“Now...I have to find you.”

>O<

But she must have hated me so much, because I didn’t found her. I even visited her hometown when I found out that she left her apartment, too.   She must have gone far far away, not wanting to even hear my name.

So I came back, without even seeing the shadow of my inspiration. Without even seeing a single strand of her hair, I came back to my life. My normal boring life. I felt tempted to leave my career to continue my journey but no. If she doesn’t want to see me, fine. I respect her decision.

So here I am, sitting at my usual seat in the studio. Writing some songs to once again, impress our fans.

Yeah. I tried my best to write songs again, but it didn’t feel the same anymore.  It’s not like the other songs that I wrote when my inspiration was still with me. I don’t feel any, somehow, attachments anymore.

The changes of my songs surpassed my fan’s attentions. But not Youngbae’s.

He started asking me if I have a problem that he can help me with. But I always answer “I’m fine, I’m just tired.” That’s the only words that fly out of my mouth every time he asks.

And of course, I grew tired of him, asking me. So I decided to tell him everything. Why not? He’s my bestfriend after all.  And we’re not together anymore.

He tried to comfort me, but seriously, it didn’t help. His comforting words didn’t do anything. I’m too broken to notice his worried face every time he sees me. I can’t se-

“Jiyooooooooooooooong!!!!!!!!!”

I slipped out of my reverie, only to see Bae’s waving hand in front of my face.

“I’ve been calling your name for like….” He looked at his wrist watch, “…..a minutes and 26 seconds…..It’s time for lunch!”

“Ah, sorry…” I looked up only to see Bae’s questioning look.  Aish. I quickly stood up to escape his questionings, that I’m pretty sure is coming.

“Hey! Wait up!”

And that goes for another month.