Bae Joohyun is not a stalker.   No, she is most definitely not.   She is just acting on the instinct that has been embedded in the genes of most humans, more pronounced, specifically, in females. Curiosity.   Yes, Joohyun is just curious.   It’s this quality that drives a lady to Google all sorts of terms in the pursuit of knowledge, the same thing that can push one to the brink of paranoia when looking up details of future significant others on social media.   Everyone’s been there – stalking people on Facebook or rather, checking whether information provided are legit true. Who knows? That sweet girl offline might just possibly be a nasty devil online! Or the boring maths teacher is actually a party animal outside of school, but no one really wants to know that.   (No, really, it’s hard for Joohyun to even think of it now when she discovered that – she can’t look at old Mr Lee without remembering that video of him twerking. Just. No.)   But Joohyun is different. She doesn’t even know how to navigate the ocean that is social media, heck she probably doesn’t know how to use a compass and might think it’s one of those new iCompass Apple came up with, uselessly tapping the plastic case as she waits for Siri to direct her where to go.   (Apple Watch, Apple TV, Apple iPhone... Joohyun remembers a time when anytime people refer to ‘apple’, they meant the actual fruit itself. Now, an Apple a day keeps reality away. Or a trip to the A&E due to overexposure to technology, if such a thing is possible.)   Bae Joohyun is the senpai everyone worships. Girls fall over themselves to greet her in the morning, teachers practically beaming at her like they have done some good in the world to just have Joohyun in the school. But in reality, she’s really a clueless cinnamon roll.   The fact that she’s so innocent is what makes her so endearing to the masses.   But she’s not that innocent.   Joohyun has never found the need for Twitter or Instagram or whatever. Never understood the use of it, never understood how to even use it (really, people think she’s so chic and all putting up selcas and innocuous tweets of her daily life but in truth, her little cousin had to help her with taking photos and every tweet had to be vetted before posting).   She didn’t think that one day, she would actually find a valuable use for it.   It was Yeri’s fault.   Joohyun doesn’t like blaming people but Yeri was an exception. She was the reason Joohyun had landed herself in such a predicament. Her little cousin, the bundle of innocence that slowly morphed into the offspring of Satan the older she gets.   “I can’t believe you did that,” deadpans Joohyun, the both of them sitting on the bed, staring at the Twitter profile on the screen.   When Joohyun refused to follow the user, Yeri decided to take matters into her own hands. A tussle over the phone ensues, with swinging pillows, wild shrieks and the occasional pinch on the side. Yeri emerges victorious, squealing as she snatches the device from Joohyun’s feeble hands before pressing on the ‘follow’ button.   Yeri shrugs, tossing the pillow she’s holding back to Joohyun, “Come on, unnie. Admit it. You like her.”   “This is wrong.”   “Following someone is wrong?”   “No, I mean,” Joohyun wanted to scream because she was never this desperate, “I feel so weird because she’s younger than me.”   Her cousin rolled her eyes, “That didn’t stop you from staring at her .”   If Joohyun is allowed to bring only one secret to the grave, her fascination with people’s posteriors would be it. She has no idea how or when it started, but it seems like her eyes are automatically glued on a person’s behind no matter where she is.   But Joohyun is not a ert.   She just has appreciation for nice butts. She says it so, not the first time she’s telling Yeri about it.   “Appreciation?” Yeri snorted and shook her head. She loves her cousin to bits, but there were times when she just wants to throttle the older girl and snap her out of denial, “No, no it’s not that. I think the word is ‘obsession’.”   Joohyun straightened immediately, clearly affronted, “Excuse me, I am not obsessed–”   “You pretended to buy cookies at her sale, just to admire her up-close,” Yeri stated flatly, scrolling through the app on the phone, “You grow weak in her presence like she’s some Kryptonite and you always let her go easy when she gets in trouble with anything –”   “Krypto-what?” Joohyun frowns at the odd term before mumbling to herself, “You’re a 10-year-old, where are you learning all these weird words-”   “Listen, unnie,” Yeri puts her hands on her hips, a pose that makes Irene think of a little dictator ready to wage war, “If you don’t make a move, someone will. Do you want somebody else to admire her ? Do you?”   Her jaw goes slack, “You want me to make a move on her ?”   (And then Yeri was reminded of why she haven’t exactly strangled her cousin. Too innocent, way too innocent for her own good.)   Yeri tried not to burst into laughter, “No, unnie. I don’t mean that, heck, I don’t even want to see my cousin make moves on people’s butts,” she shuddered, “Just – just ask her out, will you?”   And with that, Joohyun grudgingly gave in, making a mental note to keep the young girl away from anything with high sugar content, just so she doesn’t come up with any more funny ideas.   Secretly, she doubts anyone actually pays more attention to Wendy Son’s than she does.   No, Bae Joohyun is definitely not a stalker. Or a ert for that matter.   ***   “Seungwan,” Joy warns, her tone dead serious, “If you can’t chill right now, I’m gonna tie you to a chair and roll you to the Bae family’s doorstep myself.”    “I am trying not to drop this chocolate cake, don’t you know how horrible it would be to open the box only to find the cake destroyed by my stupidity?”   “Honestly, you’re reacting as if you’re meeting your in-laws or something – it’s just a cake delivery, not some marriage proposal.”   “Who said anything about marriage?!”   Seulgi begins to pat Wendy’s head, trying to soothe the agitated girl as she murmurs in a soft voice, “Calm down, Olaf. Do you know what happens when a snowman is stressed?”   Wendy is momentarily taken aback by the sudden question, “S-stressed? I don’t– what?”   “They have a meltdown,” Seulgi utters gravely, still patting the top of Wendy’s head, “Don’t melt, Olaf.”   Joy snorts, “Yes, Wendy, don’t melt. We don’t want you to be a puddle in front of Joohyun-unnie, no matter how much you want her to step on your face or whatever you fangirls say.”   Wendy lets out a strangled cry, “This isn’t funny!”   It’s hopeless. Wendy tried to bribe her sister with all of the world’s temptations but Seunghee refuses to deliver the cake and Wendy only stopped trying when her sister threatened to tell their mother the real reason why Wendy didn’t want to go.   No matter which way she looks at it, Wendy is really delivering that birthday cake and with her luck, she’s bound to embarrass herself in the most ridiculous way imaginable.   (Wendy doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry because Bae Joohyun never gave a sign that she saw Wendy’s accidental tweet, other than that one retweet of bunnies in glass cups.)   “The way I see it, the high heavens got bored of waiting for you to come up with a grand plan so they’re taking matters into their own hands. Aren’t you grateful for their help?”   Only Fate could come up with more ways to mock her, for Bae Joohyun’s house is just a few blocks away. Wendy almost went into another breakdown when she realised this.   (“WE COULD PRACTICALLY BE NEIGHBOURS-” “Oh god, Wendy, calm down-” “I WILL NOT CALM!”)   Mrs Son almost decided against sending her youngest daughter for the delivery run because the girl was looking a little wild in the eyes but when she saw Seulgi and Joy are going to accompany her, she let her daughter be.