Friday night, and Wendy is close to raising her white flag. I’m done. Acca-out.

swiftlytrash
username has already been taken

meowforswift
username has already been taken

taylorismykweenforever
username has already been taken

"WHO ARE THESE ES STEALING MY IDEAS?!" Wendy screams in frustration as she reads the words in red. She slams her fists onto the table, causing the stationery can to topple over, spilling pencils and pens everywhere.

If this is how it's like when one needs to name their new-born baby, Wendy is seriously rethinking starting a family in the future.

(Not that people would actually check the database to assure the hysterical parents that, yes, swiftlytrash is a legit one-of-a-kind name in the entire universe. Nevertheless, one is never fully certain with this generation of technology-obsessed people.)

Which reminds her that though Taylor Swift names her cats after characters from TV shows, naming her future offspring or pets after characters from Games of Thrones is an ultimate no-no.

(HE DIED HE DIED JON SNOW ASHDJDKDKS-// Mum I'm still here// SHUSH I'M MARATHONING THIS SHOW, PASS ME THE ICE CREAM//)

Such is the dilemma thinking of an original twitter handle.

Wendy had decided to create another twitter account, one just for all her fangirling outbursts and to stop flooding her classmate's timelines with the oh-so-beautiful Ms Swift. (Wendy secretly thinks she's doing a favour for the tiny percentage of mankind that follows her - cleansing their souls with the perfection that is Taylor Swift. Hey, it’s their loss.)

But if Wendy is being completely honest with herself, she just doesn't want Joohyun to see the slip in her insanity when she fangirls, even though her image was already ruined by Mummy Dearest. Still, stay on the positive side of things!

Wendy cracks her knuckles and massages her stiff neck, taking the kinks out of it. She positions her hands over her keyboard, wracking her brains for any inspiration at all.

Okay, you're like, future valedictorian of the school. If you can't think of a single perfect username that encapsulates your whole fangirl life's blood, sweat and tears, then what good use are you?

A message pops up from Skype and Wendy clicks on it without thinking.

MuchJoyToYou: Yo what are you doing?

Wan_Swiftie: Thinking of a name for myself and contemplating my dream of a family with three kids, nothing big

MuchJoyToYou: dafuq are you saying, what happened to sticking with the name your parents have bestowed upon you and KIDS? WHAT, ARE YOU PREGNANT?!

Wan_Swiftie: ARE YOU MAD, OF COURSE NOT!!1!1!! And it’s a name for TWITTER

MuchJoyToYou: Oh. Twitter

MuchJoyToYou: That’s all??? How unexciting

Wan_Swiftie: SHUSH

MuchJoyToYou: DON’T SHUSH ME and ps, I need help for biology thanks

Wan_Swiftie: I have more important things to do so

MuchJoyToYou: Important things like THINKING OF A NEW TWITTER U/N??? HOW IS THAT IMPORTANT??? EXCUSE ME--

Wan_Swiftie: Look you know how Taylor stalks fans’ tweets and considering that I am 1 in 65 987 348 followers, I NEED a name that can stick in her head long enough so she will remember me for life and STANDING OUT IS HARD IN THIS WORLD

MuchJoyToYou: ... it's fascinating how you put your genius brains to use. Brilliant.

MuchJoyToYou: And what about your masterplan of capturing your soulmate's heart? Or did you already think of one?

Oh. Oh yeah.

Wendy takes a moment to comprehend this. She stares at her web browser with multiple tabs open – Twitter is open, of course, and some video is going on about some facial wash ad and for the life of her, she can’t tell which tab it’s from, few random lists from BuzzFeed, and Tumblr, which she has been scrolling for the past few hours. Instagram is open on her phone and the video of Taylor’s latest post is still playing on loop.

Sneaky procrastination, the thief of time. The only time she’s ever brilliant at multi-tasking – but only when she’s doing things she isn’t supposed to be doing.

When Wendy’s done cursing her woes and closing some tabs (pausing to laugh at a gif of a rolling kitten on Tumblr), Wendy navigates back to Skype and types in her reply.

Wan_Swiftie: of cOURSE I DID WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

MuchJoyToYou: You have nothing

Wan_Swiftie: I HAVE SOMETHING

MuchJoyToYou: Still nothing.

Wan_Swiftie: STAHP

MuchJoyToYou: What's so hard about just walking up to Joohyun-unnie, say you like her and want to go out with her?

Wan_Swiftie: BECAUSE IT'S

Wan_Swiftie: boring u-u

Wan_Swiftie: Idk she's so pretty and angelic and just going up to her like that is so...lame

MuchJoyToYou: you ARE lame, jfc JUST SAY HI TO HER, YOU IDIOT, IT’S NOT LIKE YOU’RE ASKING HER TO MARRY YOU

Wan_Swiftie: WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MARRIAGE??

MuchJoyToYou: YOU DID MENTION FAMILY A WHILE BACK