After the fiasco in primary school, I had some time to think about what should I do to control my emotions. Long story short, I decided to sleep anytime and anywhere whenever I can so that I can keep a mellow mood. Funny enough this habbit gave me nickname in class, "the sleeping prince" lol. I didn't care much about my studies at all, all I had to do was do decent enough is class which I managed to stay in the middle of the rankings in class through and through. This was a decent plan, but no plan is without an unexpected element, the human factor. Some of my class mates we're really trying to tick me off anytime they can, most of the time I just brushed it off. But there were a few times that I had enough and exploded, almost got into a fight, but I just barely managed to get a grip and just skipped the rest of the school day. Next day we kinda made amends and didnt really bother each other much anymore. 

The boys in my school weren't exactly my kind of people, I knew almost everybody but really trusted a few. Those few are my closes friends, but as of now, are really hard to reach. Specifically why I don't like them is that they're too loud, and draw too much attention to themselves in public. Fast forward to my final year, the year that I really thought about killing myself again. Same final exam, same pressure of comparing me to my brother and . This time around I just slept throughout the year in class so that I dont act up with all these feelings. In the first month of my final year in my class there was someone whom I've known since the start of secondary school but never really got to know them. Since getting to know her more and more , my mentality changed a bit. She lit up my life, the star that guided me in the darkness. Sure enough I didn't think she would be interested in anything more than just a friendship, so didnt bother trying to make things awkward. One of my deepest regrets but her friendship was more than enough for me. Finally then I found a reason, if I cant live for myself, I'll live for her. Everything I do, my purpose is and always will be for her, even if she will never be mine. That stays true to this day. Later on I did tell her how I felt about her then but I didnt give a chance to reply, frankly I dont want to know the answer. We dropped the topic altogether. A lot stuff I did for my closes friends, I did because I wanted to show how much you mean to me. You dont have to do anything in return, just know if I tell you my story personally, you mean the world to me and I trust you.