I took a glance at the wall clock across my bed and sighed. I realized one thing nowadays, I am either easily distracted or just over thinking. There is no in between. Why? Maybe because I'm developing a new feeling. A very dangerous and overwhelming feeling. It's confusing. No one can break down the meaning of this feeling. Not even Sherlock Holmes. A feeling that can kill and make you feel alive on the same time; Love.

The warning that i made to myself a year ago came back like a bullet train. I told myself, "it's not fun. It hurts. It will make you cry. A lot of problems. Look what he did to you," I sighed. Just the thought of it made me unconciously made my hand into a fist.

The clock made a sound, reminding me that it's already midnight. I let out a long groaning sound. Another day had come yet i am.here still thinking. Why did i even fall for you when I should have been partying with my friends that i am single again?

Because he made you feel safe.

I shook my head hoping those stupid thoughts just disappear.

Because he made you smile when you cry.

Its not like he's the only one who did tht. Sarah did. Belle did also.

He made you feel alive and a reason for you to continue living.

I let out a shuddering sigh. I have to admit he did all of those are true but a lot of things hurts me as well. Maybe its true my friends said. It's either i fall for weirdos or people with complicated life. But hey, i found that is something fun and interesting. Then i also prove to myself the real meaning of "curiousity killed the cat". Curiousity did kill parts of me but then again, i prefer truth than lies. So its better that way.

Out of the blue, i heard knocking on my window. I shift my head to the window and a pebble was tossed and hit my window. Okay, this aint romeo and juliet. This is creepy. Another pebble came and i heard someone half whisper and half shouted.

"Iris, open up!"

That voice. What brought him here at this time of the night?

I quickly took my jacket, put it on while walking to the window. I opened it and saw Luke wearing completely black. From up here, i could see he was sweating so much. "come down," he whispered while gesturing me to come down. Grinning, i grabbed the stair holder on my left before carefully placed my foot on the stairs. After getting into the correct position, i just slide down instead of climbing down.

I've been using this for quite some times. Even before he knows me.

He approached me and hugged me. "Hey," he softly said. His tshirt was damp and he was sweating, like i said. "What is it?" i didnt mean to make it sound like a snap but it just did. "I'm-" "dont say that word. Its not your fault. Its mine. I'm being such a kid." i looked down to the ground.

Intead of a heavy atmosphere that i expected, it was light and warm. No tense at all. His hands rested on my shoulders. "I'm sorry," I hissed at that word but he just ignored me and squeezed my shoulder lightly. "Its partially my fault also. And I," i looked up into his blue eyes. It was sparkling under the moonlight. So captivating.

"I miss you. A week without my bestfriend and also my girlfriend is really boring. I feel empty and guilty. I thought im going out of my mind for the past 7 days. You didnt even go to school. Where were you the whole week?"

I bit my lips. I literally locked myself in my room and sleep out through the week to forget everything. I looked away from his intense stare and sighed. "Just somewhere."

"well then, next time bring me along so i wont feel ty the whole time." he pulled me closer but stopped right before we touched. "you still love me right?" i could sense the worrisome in his voice. "greater than you think." i threw my arms around him and hugged him tight.

I miss him. 
I really do like him. 
I guess this is what they call love even if the relationship is up.