4 years later...

Hello and welcome. this is my first blog after about.. 4 years i guess. Currently am a degree student and the last blog i wrote was back when i was a high school kiddo. fuhh, time really pass so fast huh..but whatever the  I am going to give a little insight of my life as I am also going to hit 10 years on AFF by next year I think. 

I lowkey re read some of my blog and oh how I pity my younger self. It was indeed hard but I can't believe I managed to survive that. Shout out to people out there struggling too. YALL CAN DO IT!!!!! n e ways, it's kinda funny reading back your blog and see you wrote about crushes and then years later, you're finally dating someone and it's just.. woah. I was one of the girls who desperately wanted to experience romance (they said if you're in love you would write better. who tf told me those lies) but I found romance in the most unexpected places. Well, atleast for me. I met this dude when I was at the verge of giving up with Tinder men (men and women in general tbh). Yeahh, but he came just at the right time and we're hitting off our second year together now. 

Romance-wise, it;s pretty chill out here but that does not mean I am completely heal with whatever disorder I got. When I was in the second year of Diploma year, I got the chance to meet a psychiatrist and seek help. Though I bailed those treatments, I'm doing better than I expected today. It was an experience. Meds weren't the answers for me. If it is for you, please don't skip your meds. Over the years, I lost friends. I got bullied online because I was too friendly. Got traumatized being a fangirl due to that which lead me to focus more on life (and also meet my darling). Now, I'm casually in the community but with lesser friends (none to be honest) but atleast I am happier. 

I wanted to say I live well but relapses do happen and it is as bad you think it is. It's okay. It will be fine. It take times. Especially due to pandemic I think it got worst. To those who have the luxuries to get proper help and to help someone, do get/do it. Please take care of yourself. Life is bad but it wont be worst everyday. Until today and right at this moment, I am still learning what is life and what is friendship. I had major issues with it but I hope it will be answer in the future. To anyone or even future me reading this, you did well. 

 

Take care

Stay safe! 

-love, H. 

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