no this is not about that issue, this is just about me lol...okay, maybe just a little on that issue...many will be personal and just about me me me...but with a little relation to this issue...

http://blog.koreaboo.com/post/98134992903/ze-as-lee-hoo-junyoung-says-he-will-decide-to-start

If there's one thing this lee hoo/junyoung incident taught me...it's that, why would i shut up fearing what people would think of my words/my opinions/whatever i have to say? 

sure it might be stupid, it might not be smart...it might leave some regrets, it might make people think 'what an attention seeker'(even with this post, i feel scared to publish it but oh well). but is there any guarantee that if i suppress and put a fake 'everything's alrite' and 'i have nothing to say, no opinion, no comment' front...there's guarantee i won't regret? is there a guarantee people won't talk bad if i keep quiet cowardly bcuz scared of what people would say or think? people would talk bad anyway if they want to regardless of what you do...or don't....that's one thing i have learnt from life.

if Junyoung has decide to freely express himself, i start questioning why should i stop now?

lately i've been a little tired to bother anything. i don't want to share my thoughts and feelings bcuz i know it'll only make people build some impression/assumption of me that might not be as true as it seems, it might make people start to see me as some sort of interesting speciment or a stalking material again rather than a human no different than them and you should know i hate overly attention bordering stalkerish kinda attention as much as i appreciate attention. but really, when i post something, i appreciate your attention on what i say, but not on me...

thus...when i see things that are idiotic or wrong being spread out as 'truths' i don't speak out thinking 'meh, they want to be idiot...let them be...why should i waste my energy to correct whatever wrong they said?' even though that's not something that makes me feel good...

now i won't bring in my personal life analysis here but from Junyoung's case...i realize again that it's fun getting in word battle with people who make claims like they know facts, when in this world...there are so many possibilities...and it's not merely black and white...do you know how dangerous spreading unconfirmed statements as facts? that's an act of slandering, if it's wrong. and in this world today where fickleness and lack of personal opinion and people deciding based on what they see claimed by majority(that doesn't just happen in internet world...it's happening even in real world...it's just scary...), i can't stay quiet...

back when i was more tired, i'd give up faster, maybe i won't even say anything cuz what is the use? many other people with common sense say they won't waste their time on that either...but now...not until i make you see how much an idiot you're being...then only i'll shut up...i don't see anything wasteful or wrong with spreading common sense in this world..or rather, internet world...i never thought common sense would ever be something the society lacks(bcuz isn't it supposedly 'common'?)...but it seems, now that we're approaching the end of the world...really......to many, being smart is just about your exam papers and straight 'A's while being utter idiots when it comes to common sense is considered nothing serious at all...i've seen in real life how messed up geniuses straight A people fked up in morality, manners and common sense to the point that i just lose interest in engaging with people on any deeper level than just a brush on the surface at all....knowing people as strangers are better than getting to know them only to find the side i can't accept but forced to adapt to in the name of relationship...

which probly is the reason it's been ages since i made a friend i can really call a friend in real life. i'm just too critical n judgmental n idealistic...ouch...

But i realize, what do i get from being quiet seeing stupidity laying and spread around....heartache...and i can't just be quiet seeing people i care for being stupidly judged without sound argument i can't refute. especially in internet where it doesn't take much effort at all to speak up a little compared to real life... just like back then when i see people grouping together to trashtalk someone, spreading uncertain things that they made to sound like facts ...and i said nothing since i didn't care at the the time, and i didn't want to get involved in battle of stupidity...but sometime later...i realized that if you speak out what nobody say when nobody does...you could bring out more people who have same thought as yours but never dare/bother to come out and speak out against spreading of falseness under the pretense of facts.

and what do i gain from that?

nothing.

oh wait...

satisfaction.

since i'm a wordy/noisy person online anyway...why not channel the energy to find satisfaction?...educating people is fun. even if they don't want it. haha...(though being teacher to rude jerky snobs isn't fun haa)

Besides, have you ever gone through having the whole people around you being against you unfairly/for reasons that aren't even true about you? Having nobody to stand up for you or even to speak up for common sense for people to not judge so easily without getting into the core of things? Yeah well, i've been there more than once. I know how it feel firsthand.

In issues like this, that's definitely not of my concern tbh...not directly/personally...whatever happens in kpop doesn't change my life for me to be so riled up tbh...but if you can be concerned when things are good why can't you when things are bad, right? one thing that utterly disgust me is how people only make noise n show they care when you're dead, but don't give a fk when you're alive. i bet if he's dead, there'd be like at least 10x more people blogging about it here. (just an example of people's concern) and when you show concern to someone alive and having problem...you're considered drama queens...right. very rational peeps, very.

But one thing i know i can definitely do is contribute to straighten up the lack of common sense in people who judge things like they know when they don't...and that could lead to increase of support n courage from other people, not to ageree with me, but to share their own rational take, their own commen sense  ...somewhere...somebody important might read something as trivial as internet comments and think...and someone important might be able to take actions based on perspective he/she has seen. you never know what you have that might be able to change the world(i'm not just referring to this one case, but anything of your concern)...so why choose to not try lay it all on the table? do we have anything to lose? i certainly don't....well, except some time...which would be wasted on other unimportant things anyway otherwise...

nothing is impossible until it's proven so.

rather than believing nothing you do will make a difference, why not do whatever you could first and see if it really doesn't make a difference later...?

hmm...i'm inspired by this person's reckless courage... lol. what he did might be very stupid, but in some ways many don't see, it's smart as well...but i won't deny it's suicidal definitely. and it definitely shook so many people. just imagine, the power of words. but have you thought that maybe...maybe this is the only way he's left with? why didn't he go for lawsuit/report to police/blabla....well, why don't you go ask him instead of using that excuse to trashtalk him as some lunatic idiot without even knowing 'why' he didn't do that?

by the way, did you see any of my comment saying he's doing the right or wrong thing? (notice that in my arguments i never make things certain...bcuz that's my point....we cannot be certain of anything bcuz we know nothing to judge, we can only predict...so make it clear that we're only expressing opinions instead of facts, even my stance on kim hyunjoong case is still of that, do i think he's innocent, do i think he's guilty....i don't know. because i wasn't there.it'd be stupid for me to launch into attack/defense mode when i DON'T KNOW...i just find it a lil hypocritical of how easily he's judged prematurely early on even when multiple questionable things and the possibility of how different it'd be had it be someone with more influential backups n fandom...sorry i know the two cases have nothing in common,but i obv care for both groups...and both cases have similar reactions from audience since they're both not sm/yg/jyp that have whole load of internet backup troop) so if you want to think of me as a blind fangirly oppar fan...read the way i worded my words first...i never like making a claim of things i don't know...if you're thinking of accusing me of being shallow/blindly supportive you should be very careful before posting one reply....bcuz it'll get scary once i start break down your words into pieces n get into logics and rational equation. this is why i think people shouldn't feel offended whenever i don't reply to your messages or anything...more than half of the time...my replies won't be pretty...there are many times, i'm just keeping quiet, struggling with myself to save the relationship with people by controlling my uncontrollable cold unpretty words that don't give people comfort...so don't go testing my limits...

my sister always say how the world would be a better place without the internet, technology etc...but i think internet has affected the way i express myself a lot...back then...i was too dumb, naive to give a decent getback everytime i got bullied...a pity...it'd have been fun if i wasn't so naively understanding, and accepting of the s i got. as it seems, in this world...you get on when you're unnecessarily nice n quietly accepting...

i'll share more things about me in the future maybe...bcuz i feel that my friends especially need to understand...my way/actions and words often lead to misunderstanding...i'm not saying that's a good excuse to justify my misleading/reckless words, nope...manners can't be justified by some 'personality' excuses...but at least you can be understanding if you want...or leave if you don't...

if you think what i write here are a whole load of self centered crap wasting time,...hey, i'm writing this for my own pleasure and pleasure of those who want to take pleasure in reading whatever i write...if you want something 'not crappy/self centered'...go ahead and write some wholesome post of your own and read it...

i've come to a time thinking maybe being too expressive is rather immatured of me...and that i should learn to shut up more, share less opinion and more generic things bcuz it'd attract less judging n attention.....but now...i think i should go back to my noisy nature...being quietly matured doesn't do anything...but you never know how something as trivial as words can affect someone's life somewhere, somehow...sure you might regret in the future, the stupid things you say today...but...who cares? life is short, i'm not a famous figure(or even a famous figure to be) to worry such thing, not that i think i said anything that could be used against me without me being able to refute anyway. But i never say i'm excluded from idiocy.

if you're gonna sit in the corner and wondering why things don't go the way you want/wishing people to care...most definitely not gonna happen unless you're 'somebody'...you want people to know, to understand, to care....go out there and say...'hey, listen up...i have something to say.'

Expect more noise from the inspired me. except when i'm in my downtime/tired/lazy, don't force me to make any noise or it'll end up with me lashing...yikes...

anyway, random but...

many, many years ago...around this time, on this date...i discovered my late dad's dead body on his praying mat...he was a brave fearless person who never feared of fighting for fairness n justice (not in large superhero scale obv....) i wouldn't say his life was glorious/successful or anything, obviously justice fighter hardly will be met with success in this world, do you really naively think justice is something easily achievable?...i wouldn't say he's the best husband/father/person either...but i can say that even after all these years, we still talk about him like he never left, and we're very proud of him and that he's amazing in his own way that not many people can ever be.

haha, idk why i'm sharing this but oh well. (please don't come sending pity words...that'd annoy me, i'm a Sagi...if yknow Sagi's personality traits...lol..just bcuz i'm sharing this doesn't mean i'm expecting 'oh i'm so sorry to hear that blabla'....really...)

 

For the hate for unfairness hypocrisy and the glorifying of idiocy and so many other things...i will speak freely...(unless it's so unworthy to be bothered about...lol)....

yay~