Actually i'm supposed to be updating fics...but i'm not able to write...i just can't. i play all those shuffle thingies partly to try find some inspiration but no...now i'm trying this...la la la...excuses...i think it's cool to get to know your characters n idk...trigger some ideas/inspiration?...so...feel free to take n do it for any of your characters...i'd love to read these stuffs and get to know other people's characters too lol ...i might do this again...and again...lol. whenever i need to find inspiration or bored n can't/refuse to write.

taken from livejournal (sorry, forgot the address...)

for now, I'm doing this for Hong Ji Woo. my 2nd main OC in AFF...since this is where i'm stuck now...lol.

Pick one character from any of your fanfic and answer the questions about him/her.

You can answer these questions as many times, but one set for one particular character.

1. What do you know about this character now that s/he doesn't yet know?
Duh. of course i know everything...that she needs to know, and even that she doesn't know. or do i?

2. What is this character's greatest flaw?
Her excessive self consciousness...it affects her confidence and the way she carry herself in society...she thinks too much about her age and the proper way to behave accordingly...because the society treats her poorly for her age and marital status and also social/economic achievement status...she began to see herself from such poorly lenses as well...instead of standing up for her own worth.

3. What do you know about this character that s/he would never admit?
well, that'd be spoiler-ish if i reveal it here won't it?

4. What is this character's greatest asset?
Her mental strength to not break down n go crazy i guess...despite being pressured by society and family and not having anyone to turn to as confidante, or just to be there for her. She could put on a brave face and just go with it even when she's scared n unconfident on the inside.

5. If this character could choose a different identity, who would s/he be?
I think she'd love to be sitting on that comfy boss seat. haa. Or be someone younger.

6. What music does this character sing when no one else is around?
Sadly, this character is numb to music and fun things in life...she's taught herself to be 'matured' and act matured and accordingly to her age according to her definition, it makes her rigid, unable to enjoy and just boring even though her work had her corresponding with some entertainment acts. She treat everything as merely work.

7. In what or whom does this character have the greatest faith?
In the belief that she needs to act accordingly to her age, and refrain herself from acting recklessly.

8. What is this character's favorite movie?
Again, she doesn't watch movies(not as far as she lets me know lol), but i think she secretly enjoys romantic movies and imagine herself being the character...haa.

9. Does this character have a favorite article of clothing? Favorite shoes?
Her monochromatic dull coloured shirts and pants that she always wear to work, Nothing fancy. She doesn't like attention bcuz whenever she gets some, it's always negative ones.

10. Does this character have a vice? Name it.
Her insecurity? And she's rather quick to judge as well, probably due to her age, that made her think she'd know better.

11. Name this character's favorite person (living or dead).
Guess who?

12. What is this character's secret wish?
To be loved? lol. and probly to do something not so nice to that new boss of hers that turned her life from bad to worse.

13. What is this character's proudest achievement?
I think it's her job, even though it's nothing great, she's not a very accomplished person and she's very insecure and aware of how society judge her. so you can imagine how/why she hold on to it with her dear life and why she's so devastated when she lost it.

14. Describe this character's most embarrassing moment.
Somehow i think she's most embarassed whenever with someone like May guy cuz one, he's much younger(at least that's what she think), and two. he always has remarks that could throw anyone off the loop and embarass anyone and not following the age-appropriate etiquette..and with someone as self conscious as her...it only gets worse. and of course, the moment she was fired with nasty calm n cool remarks by her new boss. It's a huge blow to her pride, especially since the new boss is also younger, and not to mention, beautiful n obviously more successful(or so it seems).

15. What is this character's deepest regret?
I think...not being next to July at her death time.

16. What is this character's greatest fear?
Loneliness. and not having self worth at all.

17. Describe this character's most devastating moment.
Losing her job n her only friend she had just met.

18. Greatest achievement.
Huh?...haven't i answer something similar? hmm...okay that was her 'proudest' this is her 'greatest'....i'll say....suddenly getting some guys who are ridiculously good looking or perfect in different ways to show some interest in her all of a sudden, out of nowhere...(gasp!)...after years of being treated like a plague to be avoided.

19. Greatest hope.
To get her job back(?) or a greater one..., and love. duh.

20. Obsession.
Nothing.

21. Greatest disappointment.
Losing her job, and car, and the young friend she just made in the hospital,July...i guess.

22. Worst nightmare.
Her mom finding out she lost her job, and to be compared to her supposedly more successful younger sister again. And family gatherings.

23. Whom does this character most wish to please? Why?
Her mom, she feels bad for being an embarrassment to her mom cuz of society's view on spinsters.

24. Describe this character's mother.
The mother may seem like your typical kdrama mom...she's just a traditional mom who wants her daughter to be successful in other words, good marriage-have husband, job, kids. Those usual stuffs. But more than anything, she just want both her daughters to be happy. And think that marriage would lead to that. Sure she doesn't like to hear people badmouthing her daughter, but it's not like that's the only reason to put pressure on her daughter...she's just worried of her daughter's future.

25. And father.
He's not in the story.

26. If s/he had to choose, with whom would this character prefer to live?
Alone, probly.

27. Birth order, and effect of that.
She's the older of two sisters. Being the eldest, she has this sense of responsibility and burden to show a good example and be successful...but when her younger sister seemed to have better life, it place her on the hot seat of being judged n compared by relatives and her mom.

28. Describe siblings or other close relatives.
Her younger sister is married to a French guy and lived abroad with her husband and build her own family there. She's always been the more outgoing and popular/cheerful one. Nothing much is known yet since she has yet to make appearance and i don't want to give much spoilers lol.

29. Bedroom. Three cherished items.
Just a small basic single room. her cherished item? Well, her bed, and the other two? go ask her.

30. Birthdate, and does this character manifest traits of astrological sign?
Either Scorpio/Sagittarious/Capricorn. will be revealed later, haha...and yes, some traits, but only in her inner self...since her self control is great, she doesn't show much of her true self and always constraint herself.

31. Six months of seclusion, name six items to bring.
idk...go ask her. sorry i just don't like this question...especially for someone as simple minded and complicated as Jiwoo. much of her life happenings take place in her mind n heart rather than with materials.

32. Why is this character angry?
because of her life situations and being treated like crap by society when she did nothing bad to people to earn such disdainful treatments. and because even someone as 'untalented' as Cherryish can have better life. because she couldn't even retaliate when offended and disrespected, cuz that's how things work. because she couldn't have greater control of her own self and her life.

33. What calms this character?
Going to the river, though that is,until May guy appeared, Letting out her bottled up emotions to someone....cry?(though so far she had only cried in front of July),...June guy's smile? lol., and Cherryish's favourite drink? it may change in the future but who knows...

34. Recurring dream or nightmare.
None as of yet, mostly just her worries in real life that emerged in dreams/nightmares.

35. Choices, not circumstances, that led character to current predicament.
I'd say her stubborness, her lack of confidence and her lack of pride(in self worth sense, she actually has a lot of pride when it comes to society but when it comes to herself...no) as well n her fighting spirit. So, most recently..she's stuck in her new boss' (who fired her n humiliated her) wedding...and was assigned to stop the wedding...if she had firmly decide to not go to the wedding for such a ridiculous task n have more confidence that she can get another job n strive for it...she'd be spared from being caught in the situation she's in. but no, she's willing to lower her pride out of her fear of losing that job and unable to get a new one cuz of her age and lack of impressive portfolio.

36. Circumstances over which this character has no control.
Well, many things, be it physically or emotionally. the death of July, being fired, being attracted to someone she 'shouldn't', etc.

37. What wakes this character in the middle of the night?
Her worries or too many thoughts that haunt her sleep.

38. How would a stranger describe this character?
ahjumma.

39. What does this character resolve to do differently every morning?
Getting a grip and control of her life.

40. Who depends on this character? Why?
for now, her mom somewhat....though that's mostly only cuz the character wants to be depended on to feel she has some worth. maybe in the future(if the story doth continue) there will be more...but can't leave any spoiler...lol.

41. If this character knew s/he had exactly one month to live, what would s/he do?
Probly go to the river to ponder everyday..wondering if she should end her life earlier, but then thought of her mom and how she should prepare to leave her mom without being a burden.

42. How would a dear friend or relative describe this character?
She doesn't have any living dear friend. Her relatives would probly rat out on her or say how they 'pity' her...yaknow those annoying stuffs.

43. What is this character's most noticeable physical attribute?
Well, her signs of aging lol. And her posture that shows her lack of confidence though it's rather subtle since she tries to control it.

44. What is this character hiding from him/herself?
Desire to act without watching out on her own actions too closely, desire to have courage to do what she wants and be who she wants without having to walk with her shoulders hunched down in inferiority. 

45. Write on additional thing about your character.
She has this conflicting personality inner n outer, and between thinking and feeling, between what she wants for herself for her own satisfaction, and what she wants for herself for recognition and self worth. She knows how to be matured, but she isn't always matured. She calculates everything with her age and her logics. She hates her age, yet takes pride in it. Well, life is an irony isn't it? At least for Hong Jiwoo(though she doesn't realize it and probly won't admit it). She's not a very unique character though-much like someone you can find in kdramas that has ahjumma-heroine...xD...what makes her story different, is the strange/mysterious people that emerge around her that overwhelm her and made her life took a little more bizarre turn than in kdramas. well, there's nothing outstanding about the story anyway...compared to some other of my fics that were more ambitious...this is just a simple story of love and life. and i won't answer any question about the continuity of the story now...i don't know the future n it's not like people care so...just....(que sera sera)whatever will be will be. that's that. oh, and if you hadn't guess...she never really have that 'courage' to suicide in the river...it's just something she thought she would do...but would she have done it for real? i doubt it. and i'm pretty sure at the back of her head she knew she had no courage for it either.

now i hope i can get inspired....lol. or maybe i should find another song shuffle thing to play...lol.

should i do for more fics' characters? seem fun rite?....idk.....zzzz....

now maybe i can try write again...lol. keyword: TRY.