If I had to guess, I would say one item that is unquestionably on every Gyustan’s bucket list is: Skinship with Kim Sunggyu.

I mean, who could resist getting some skin-to-skin contact with this hunk of adorable should-be-illegal-but-thank-goodness-it's-not iness?

It’s definitely on this ynoona’s list.

(In bold, capital letters.)

(Underlined.)

(Twice.)

(It’s also highlighted in yellow.)

(Neon yellow.)

Now, though you may believe that this item is as difficult to achieve as scaling Mount Everest or getting Nam Woohyun to tone down the greasiness, let me assure you, it is within the realm of possibility.

You can get some epidermal interaction with our dearest leader. Just be sure to choose one of these guaranteed methods.

1. Become an Infinite member.

This is by far the best method for getting some skinship with the cutie commander. As a member of Infinite, you’ll not just get skinship—you’ll get varied and quality skinship!

Whether it be a back hug:

Torso action:

Booty rubbing:

A full side press:

Eskimo kisses:

And yes, even actual kisses!

Yup, if you are wanting to touch the Gyu (and seriously, who doesn’t?), get yourself into the Infinite line-up STAT!

However, if Infinite’s knife-like choreography is a tad too difficult, never fear! You can still get some Gyu action!

2. Become a Super Junior member.

That’s right. If you’d rather be part of a larger ensemble where you can hide your lack of solid dance moves in the back if need be, but still want to rub yourself all over be able to touch Sunggyu, consider becoming a part of this 13-piece group.

No, it’s not because Sunggyu is thinking of defecting over to SuJu.

It’s just that the members of this group have a pretty good track record of skinship with the Gyu.

I’m talking really good…

…really,really, really good.

Of course, maybe being part of ridiculously good-looking boybands is not your thing. No problem!

3. Become something consumable.

This option is especially recommended if you’d like a lot of tongue and lips action.

(Really, who doesn’t?!?)

Just transform yourself into something edible. Or drinkable. Basically, transforming yourself into anything that a human can stuff his face with will ensure you lots and lots of contact with the cutie commander’s mouth.

Not kidding, a LOT of action…

A tremendous amount of action, as evidenced by this video shared with me by my dearest Gyumate pinnochi:

(I don’t know about you, but that was my idea of adult entertainment right there!)

If the thought of turning yourself into a foodstuff or beverage is a bit off-putting, however, no worries!

4. Become a microphone.

If you want to be as close as physically possible to the perfection that is Kim Sunggyu’s mouth, well then, transforming into a tool of his trade is most certainly the way to go.

Being a microphone in the hot hamster’s hands has a number of perks (other than the obvious one of not having to travel down his gullet…but maybe you’re into that, I don’t know. In which case, have at it. No judgment here). First and foremost, of course, is that the fact that the Gyu pretty much always has his mikes thisclose to his lips.

Then there’s the little matter of his…uh, expressiveness…

He even lets the microphone stand in on the action!

Excuse me while I turn on the fan the air conditioner…

Forget it, only a cold shower will do…

Let me just tip these ice cubes into my shorts…

All right, I’m sufficiently calmed. Now to the important question of: What if none of these methods work for me?

To you, dear Gyustan, I say, where there’s a will to gain skinship, there is a way to gain skinship! (Not the pithiest saying, but you get the picture.)

5. Become infinitely skinshipable.

(That is too a word.)

(Well, it’s not, but it is now…)

If all else fails, just try your best to turn into anything the Gyu would want to press parts of his body against. Seriously, anything.

Good luck to you!

This post approved by Kim “Come and get your skinship!” Sunggyu.

*Picture credits to their owners