Title: No Reply

Author: Lu-llaby

1) Story Title and Description: 16/25

The story and the description were straight to the point. The description was too simple that it failed to entice me to read more about the story. The author could have written more about the story just enough to spark curiosity from the readers.

2) Structure and Appearance: 19/25

I love the look of the first half of the story. The raindrops definitely set a melancholic feeling that causes a positive effect on the story. The score drops near the end when the size of the font was like slapping me on the face. If the author is hoping for a dramatic effect by doing that, it’s doing the opposite. There are many ways to do a dramatic look without exaggerating the size like italics or separating it with a large space or border. Experiment and see what works.

3) Theme or Message: 18/25

Denial. From the time Sehun mentioned his friend Jongin and the sad expression on his face, it was obvious that he was trying not to think of one fact that would change something about Luhan.

I always enjoy that kind of concept. The only problem I find is the lack content so that it would have more impact upon the readers.

4) Entertainment Factor: 15/25

There’s something about oneshots that has a special place in my heart. On occasion, I find great stories and wished they were longer. This story could have been one if it didn’t look rushed nor too obvious by the time you reach the middle of the story.

Total Score: 67 points

It’s good that the author knows what his/her story wants to convey, it’s just missing a few elements like a more foundation for the character and longer storyline. I think a couple more dialogues and description would help create the story to appear more alive.

Thank you for visiting the shop. I hope in some way, my opinions would help you improve the story and didn’t discourage you in any way.

~musicbeat