Title: How long is Forever

By kamanaa

Reviewer: musicbeat

1)Grammar: 5/ 5        

2)Diversity of Conversational Structure: 5/ 5    

Simple and easy to follow.

3)Typographical errors and Lay4.5/ 5 

I’m a bit picky with words. Although there are times that I ignore mistakes, there are things that still make me raise a brow. One example is “laps”- should be lap (I checked online just to be sure). Check again to resolve those mistakes.

4)Story Title: 5/ 5 

It’s too early to say how I feel about the title. It’s the type of story where you have to read the whole thing to really understand what it meant. I know that with each chapter, the characters always ask how long will their time together will last. Their brand of forever is always questioned. I like it and still make me wonder if ‘forever’ will really last for them.

5)Description: 5/ 5 

It’s okay. I prefer a little mystery to the beginning to make readers curious. I love how the author described the situation during that time. It was simple but very informative.

6)Foreword or Prologue: 3.5/ 5 

The first few paragraphs really enhanced the setting. The slightly grim and tense atmosphere perfectly showed what the characters are experiencing. But I sense of detached feeling in the story or maybe it’s just me.

 7) Story Plot: 

• The presentation of Characters: 3/ 5   

                         I don’t know much of Myungsoo’s personality except that he’s very protective of Jiyeon that he had done things for the sake of her happiness.  I think it lacks a bit of a more human side. No one is that perfect. I think showing a bit of his flaws would enhance his character more and it’s the same for Jiyeon. I’m a bit happy that Jiyeon is not completely useless. More personality is needed. Personality means more situations that can be explored.

• The distinctiveness of the conflict: 14.5/15        

It’s very obvious what the conflict is. Everyone like a good love story and I hope this one would turn out great when it’s finally finished.

• The flow of the Events: 10/ 10 

Very nice flow. It’s consistent.

• The quality of the description of the setting and its appropriateness: 3.5/ 5 

I’ve seen a couple of war stories. Basic information was given which is good but slightly lacking in more details with each new chapter. A story does not always talk about the love story but the journey of going there and the experiences of the characters in which would help them grow to be a person that would be loveable or hateful to the readers.

• The fitness of the twist in the story: 12/ 15 

The twist at the latest chapter was a bit anti-climactic. It lacks passion. I was wondering, where’s the struggle? She’s just giving up? I don’t see the characters as weak but they need more spirit in them for the story to show more promise.

• The consistency of the content: 5/ 5 

For sure, the story stays with its theme. Nothing is out of the ordinary.

• The taste of the story: 13/15

From what I’ve read so far, there were a couple of dull moments. The limited personality hinders character growth and makes their world smaller.  

•    Overall score:  89 POINTS

                The story is still in the beginning stages where readers are still getting know what’s happening. It’s too early to really conclude anything but the only thing I can say is that in order to write a good war love story or any story whatsoever, character personalities are really important.

This is only my opinion. I hope in some way, this will help the author in writing his/her story. 

Good Luck~