Story Title: Daehyun: Valkyr of the Gods

Class A 

criteria:

1)STORY TITLE: 10/10

          The title did in fact catch my attention.

• -ORIGINALITY

Definitely something I haven’t seen around AFF or any fanfictions sites I’ve been. Norse mythology has been in my opinion, a topic that should be explored. They’re interesting when written well.

• -APPROPRIATENESS

When you summarize the story, it is really about the three Valkyrs: Jongup, Himchan and Daehyun. 

• -SIGNIFICANCE

What is a Valkyr of the gods? That’s the first question. The title entices readers to check out the story.

• -IMPACT TO THE READERS

With BAP known for their strong image and concepts, I think fans and readers would like to read a fantasy story like this.

 

2)NARRATIVE ELEMENTS: 27/30

          RATED ON THE FOLLOWING ASPECTS:

• -CHARACTERS

The characters were written. Even the minor characters turned out to have a good solid background story. It gives a strong foundation to the story.

But there’s an issue with Daehyun. He’s the main character and yet there’s something lacking in him. He’s a formidable valkyr whose mission is to find worthy warriors to fight alongside his brother, Himchan. But his lack of curiosity had me frustrated at times. There were moments that I wonder if he’s really the main character. He lacks something that I can’t point one. Maybe a bit of humanity will do him good even as a valkyr.

• -SETTING

There was lack of description. More description would have given more idea on what Daehyun’s world look like. Not everyone is familiar with norse mythology so more descriptions would give readers a more apt understanding of Daehyun’s world. But even without it, the story still is strong.

• -OPENING OF THE STORY

The beginning of the story is very important in engaging readers to continue on. 

• -PLOT (CONFLICT, ,ORIGINALITY AND TWIST)

I don’t know what to say. The plot was very well though off. The twists makes you wonder how it will turn out.

• -ENDING OF THE STORY

I like the ending. It was nice to see that in the end, Daehyun and Yongguk finally got their happily ever after.

• -CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

I think every character; main or minor were well written. In my opinion, I thought Jongup’s personality in the beginning was very fitting. His dependency and carefree spirit was true to the end. 

Himchan was well-written. He’s driven to protect his brothers and will do anything for them. I think his best moment in the story was when he’s trying to save Daehyun from being fully destroyed when the seal broke. His love for his brothers overcomes his loyalty to Odin.

There’s only one character in which I questioned his judgement. I think Yongguk made a stupid decision when he freed Loki. Was he really that desperate? I just hated that decision in which endangered his friends.

• -PLOT DEVELOPMENT

It’s amazing how the author managed to use each artifacts effectively at every obstacle in their way. But I though the homunculus part could have been written better. It looked too easy.

• -ENTERTAINMENT FACTORS

 The side characters are very entertaining. Zico was very much ‘act first, think later’ kind of guy. It made me like him a lot. There were a lot of small things that had me laughing and shaking my head in amusement. The expletives were very creative and right on when you think about people revolving around norse mythology. Thor was really a nice touch.

3)NARRATIVE DESIGN: 26/30

          RATED ON THE FOLLOWING ASPECTS:

• -NARRATION

I love how it is made from a lot of different perspectives and yet you’re not confused who’s talking. The different sides give a lot more view on what really is happening. It shows that we’re not only seeing one side of the story. 

• -DIALOGUES

Very informative. Dialogues are not over the top and had me laughing at times. The curses were very funny which adds to the entertainment factor. Even in adventure stories like this, a funny moment is a good thing that leave readers wanting to continue on.

 

• -EXPOSITION 

I also notice that there are more side stories from the beginning. It’s like a puzzle. Piece by piece, they do not make sense but they are connected in the end. The side stories gives more color to the story overall.

-HARMONY OF THE BEGINNING MIDDLE AND END

I was surprised how well the beginning of the story fit well with the middle and especially the end. I may have qualms about seeing Daehyun’ s human side so early but it fit well with the format.

•  
• -STORY FLOW

I’m a bit happy with the first four chapters of the story. It holds a good foundation. But in my opinion, the prologue would have been a lot better if it appeared later in the story.

Chapter 11, Mages: it was a bit anti-climactic for Youngjae to die just like that.  Changmin’s appearance was a nice touch and Dara’s schemes made me curious about her real agenda.

Chapter 12, Is the best so far. Very mysterious yet compels readers to know what Odin’s secrets are and how they are connected to Daehyun.

I think the story’s main strength is the well-written action scenes. It takes skill to write action scenes. I tried once and failed miserably at it.

 

The flow overall is very nice. Nothing’s overlapping nor moving too slow or too fast.

 

4)DESCRIPTIVENESS OF THE STORY: 27/30

          RATED ON THE FOLLOWING ASPECTS:

• -LEVEL AND VARIETY OF DESCRIPTION (REFLECTIVE, REMEMBRANCE, CHARACTER PROFILE AND OBSERVATIONS) PROVIDED

The story is more about the war and the secrets revolving around the 3 valkyrs. Each character made an impression, mostly good. Descriptions about clothing were a bit scarce and setting as well.

•  
• -MAIN IMPRESSION

I like it although it’s really more like a game story.

I am a bit disappointed with Even I said that I liked seeing the prologue later in the story, it has good substance. You gave your readers a sneak peak of Daehyun’s human side.  Most books that I’ve read, they do not reveal secrets immediately as soon as a reader starts. They give secrets in small doses to keep the readers from continuing. I think you lack a bit of it but the story still gives off a good plot to keep your readers continue wanting to know what happens next.

I think a little more romance wouldn’t hurt. As most would say, LOVE gives us something to root for.

 

 

• -ENERGY OF THE DESCRIPTION

 

The description of the story failed to arouse my curiosity. I think it lacked the wow factor that would make the readers wonder what happens next. At that time, I thought Daehyun was acting rash. It has the mystery factor but the confusion what the Lord of the undead’s purpose over power that curiosity.

 

Also, it  was a bit confusing. In truth, I read it more than 4 times before I fully understand and get a small gist on what the story is about.

 

 

OVERALL SCORE: 90 POINTS

 

My first reaction when I was starting read the story… OH BOY! I’m fantasy reader but norse mythology is kind of out of my league. In the beginning I thought I was going to get bored since it wasn’t my kind of story but it turned out that I was wrong. Although there were some portions in the beginning that I was having doubts whether they were necessary.

Even though I’m an avid reader of fantasy stories, my knowledge in Valkyries, Vikings and norse mythology is limited.

The only complaint I have(maybe) is that not every reader is familiar with norse mythology. Asgard has been a bit familiar nowadays because of Thor. In fact that’s the only reference I have in norse mythology and one fantasy novel about Valkyries.  What I’m trying to say is that there are details in your story that needed to be explained further. What is Asgard? In the beginning, it should have been mentioned what is Asgard to a Valkyr. What is its importance? Is there are significance to that place?

Who is Odin? What does he control? What does a Valkyr do? In your story, they’re guardians and collectors as well…. But why are there only three? Was it necessity to be limited in number?

I know I am a little over the top with my questions but these are the things that made me wonder as a reader.

 

I really don’t know why but there’s nothing much I can say about your story. It’s good. The plot was well written, the characters have been brought to life with each chapter. Nothing is out of place.

Maybe except descriptions about how Daehyun’s world looked and bit more information about Valkyrs.

All in all, it’s a story worth reading.

I don’t know if this review will help you in a way but I was glad to read your story. It was a challenge but I don’t regret reading it.