She stood there, trying to hold back the tears. Not only she was fighting against them, but against herself. The strength she so far had within her, was shading aside with her sadness.

She looked at him in disbelief, not knowing how such a man could be as perfect and as gorgeous as him. He had everything she wanted, but everything she couldn't had. And that was the reason of her sadness, of her tears, and of her sorrow.

But it was bittersweet, because even if she was suffering that much, she would always love him. She would always support him, and she would always pray for him to be alright, to be safe, and to be happy even if it wasn't with her; it simply wasn't meant to be.

No matter how she tried, no matter how she wanted, life had its rules, and one of them was looking at him from afar, to look at him from where she stand; away from him. Even if it hurt her, she still smiled with tears on her eyes; he had her heart, and she didn't want it back. If that was the way to obtain him even if it was far away, she would keep it.

It was better than nothing.

She looked at her computer, slowly caressing the monitor and when the tears finally fell, she smiled again; now surrounded by happiness. She knew that, after all, he loved her. It may not be how she wanted, or how she loved, but he had the similar feeling, because after all he loved all of them equally, without any regrets.

"Happy birthday, Jaejoong-ah," she said to the motionless picture. "You deserve everything in the world, and I love you. I will pray for you, and wish you the best. If you can look at the sky at anyway possible, make a wish and if it's in my hands to fulfil it, I will. It may cost some time, but you will receive it somehow. And remember that I will always wait for you; either be 2 years, 4, even a decade, I'll be there; besides you. Just close your eyes, and think about something beautiful; you will see those flowers you like the most, and I'll convert into one of them, so I can be close to you; forever."

And later she felt behind her a very delicate touch on her back, like a soft velvet surrounding her, along with some of the most beautiful words and voice she had heard before:

"Thank you, my dearest... Don't say that I don't love you as you love me, because I do. You may not see it, you may not heard it, but I do. I love you as much as you love me. Let's see each other soon, alright? Wait for me, because I'll come back..."

"I love you..."

Happy birthday, love <3 ~ 

Najaeri ©