JI-DEE
Review: Behind that Smile
story by JI-DEE
»Originality {Have I reave something similar to it? Is the idea very well-thought out? Is the plot something new?} -/30
- So far that I know, I've never actually seen any story similar to yours. There may be some, but it's rare that I find one. Your foreword is actually very interesting; it tells the reader about how the story took place. The tragedic foreword makes the reader want to know more about the story and continue reading.
Overall points: 29
»Grammar {Does this need explanation...?} -/30
- There were some major spelling mistakes that you could have tooken some time to fix. However, everything was legible and easy to understand. Just make sure to double-check on your spelling before you publish a chapter. That enhances a reader's experience as well. (:
Overall points: 23
»Characterization: {Are the characters relatable? Has the author taken time to devlop the characters?} -/15
- I can see the plot unfold when you put in a bad side to Jiyong, and the geeky side to Sandara. However, there really was no reason as to why he was being cold to her. But all in all, the characters were relatable.
Overall points: 13
»Vocabulary {Come on, quit using 5th grade adjectives...} -/10
- There was a fair and decent amount of good sophisticated vocabulary. That's a very wonderful thing; for you want your readers to actually learn some new words, hurhurhur.
Overall points: 9
»Development {In this catergory: title, dialogue, pacing, and overall how the story is brought together} -/15
- The pacing was okay. The jump, however, was a bit too long. What happened during those thirteen years later? You could have explained some quick events over the years to get the reader to understand why the main character was longing to change the past. Everything else, however, was pretty good, easy to follow, etc.
Overall points: 13
Grade:
87/100! _B
♠note: this is reviewed by treehugger c; good job on your writing! Everything is actually written pretty nice and well, but let me point out one thing that was on my mind while reading your fic: your is for possession; "your book, your house." you're is "you are." I couldn't help but notice that you sometimes switched the meanings of the two words. "your ugly" is actually "you're ugly." Just keep that in mind. Besides that, you did a fantastic job writing! Keep up the good work! <3
sorry if this is too harsh!. c:
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