「 till we overdose : Choi AhReum 」
「 twenty eight」
charmander | charmander | 6
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character name: Choi AhReum
age + dob : 23 + 03/15
birthplace: Jeollado, South Korea |
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「 glass table girls 」 ulzzang name: Lee Yeon Joo/ Mikki links : 1 | 2 | 3 | others backup ulzzang: Song Ah Ri links : 1 | 2 | 3 | others height & weight :163 cm & 50 kg appearance : Her style is very conservative and she prefers to cover up everything. Her closet is filled with long sleeves and pants with the occasional skirt that ends right at her knee. She's not one to wear heels and chooses comfort over beauty. Her hair is long and pin-straight. It is jet black but lightens up to a dark brown as it gets closer to the tips from when she dyed it months before. |
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「 life of the party 」 plotline name : Twenty eight personality : Let's just say that there are two sides to AhReum, but one of them hasn't been revealed to the world since the day her parents disowned her. After society rejected her, she decided that the only way to bounce back was to reject society in return so she lived trying to push her old self, feelings, and thoughts away along with everyone around her so that she could live in solitude. One glance at her and you'll think she's alright. She looks normal at least and with her face it doesn't look like she could hurt anyone at all but to make sure people keep her distance from her, she acts as detestable as one could ever imagine a person to be. Curses fly out of as if they're her native language. Insults are her second language. Her eyebrows are always furrowed and is kept in a tight frown. She's not an ice princess because she doesn't use herself to blatantly undermine others. She doesn't make herself superior. She pushes people away purposely. She gives everyone she sees eye rolls and glares whether they deserve it or not. She's just mean, evil some might say. Hatred and rage drip from every word that comes out of . There's the saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." Well, if that was the case then AhReum would be mute for the rest of her life. You can say that she ended up like this all on her own. It's her fault. She chose herself to become this monster. This isn't her, the real her, that is.
Despite trying for years to build up this image that AhReum is some sort of heartless creature, she can't seem to push her old self away. She tried, keyword tried, but failed. The monster that she became is nothing but a mask. The person hiding underneath is that same insecure girl who worked her whole life just to get the approval of society. She's the same insecure girl who looks in the mirror and only sees flaws. She doesn't hate the world. She hates herself but she's in denial and with each growing day that her hate for herself increases, she convinces herself that it's actually hatred for the world and every single person in it. She's desperately crying for someone to love her but she doesn't want to admit it because where there's love, there's only more pain. Once she lets someone in, she won't be able to let them go and once they leave, like everyone eventually does, she'll be left alone, even more broken than before. She convinces herself and everyone else that she's strong and independent therefore doesn't need anyone in her life whether it's true or not. No matter how hard the pain, she doesn't cry. She can't cry. Crying is weakness and she's strong, at least, that's what she tells herself.
drug of choice : Morphine and/or heroin
likes :
→hoodies
→books
→silence
→writing
→night
dislikes :
→aegyo
→overly happy people
→daytime
→clingy people
habits :
→When she's nervous, her fingers itch for movement so she somehow manages to escape the presence of others, so that they won't see her vulnerability, and her fingers often tangle themselves up in her loose strands of hair or search for satisfaction through the friction caused when they rub against her arms.
→When she's outside, her hands find themselves in her pockets as she walks around with authority, as if telling the world that she has total control of her life but when she's at home alone, her arms cross across her body, near her mid-section with her shoulders hunched over in vulnerability.
fears :
→being alone
→being a disappointment
trivia :
→She hasn't been home or spoken to her parents in 4 years.
→An part of her old life that she can't forget is her love for the color pink, though she would never admit to it. There's just something comforting about warm colors like pink. If you ask her for her favorite color, however, she'll say green.
→She doesn't listen to music much because she's more of a bookworm than music lover but her favorite song is Home by Tablo. Don't ask for her favorite book because there are too many to mention.
→She doesn't like to dream because she feels that in her dreams, she has no control. Instead, she likes those moments right before she falls asleep where she just lies there thinking.
→Don't touch her. Just don't do it. It's too much contact for her twisted mind to handle. She'll get so confused because while her mask would yell at her to fight back against the contact, her real self would start yearning for more until the mask finally breaks off and she can definitely never let that happen.
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「 same old song 」 background story: AhReum was an umchinah, an umma's chingu's ahdeul, a mom's friend's kid. She was the one that every parent compared their child to because she sat at the top of the class with the best grades and was the president of most of the clubs in the school while still finding time to make it home to finish all her chores. Every kid hated her because she was perfect in the eyes of every parent but that idea of perfection only made her feel smaller and smaller. She felt she could never reach the expectations that people set for her and even though she met them every single time, her fear of disappointing them only grew. She hated it. She was always the center of attention and as much as she wanted to stop and just hide in the crowd, her fear of her parents was even greater than her desire. Her whole life, she worked to please others until college came.
She made it into Seoul University for its prestigious pre-med program because everyone expected her to be a successful doctor but for the first time in her life, she rebelled and chose to enroll in a smaller liberal arts school because she didn't want to be a doctor. At that point, everyone stopped praising her and looked down at her instead. In their eyes. she gave up her whole career to be a lowly writer. She became a laughing stock. Horrified, her parents disowned her and without the funds to go to college, AhReum couldn't go. She left Jeollado for good and took the next KTX to Seoul where found a job as a librarian that paid her just enough to get by.
how did you find the loft?: One night, she just didn't want to go home because she didn't want to bear the pain of coming to an empty apartment so she just wandered around Seoul all night after her shift at the library was over. She wanted some sort of relief. She stumbled into the club district where a drug dealer was selling and at this point in her life, she was desperate and rather than analyze the situation like she would usually do, she acted impulsively and bought morphine. After coming to him a few times after, he introduced her to heroin as well. Eventually, she got kicked out of her apartment because she started to spend all her money on the drugs and got behind on the rent. She also lost her job as a librarian when they found out she was a druggie. She needed a place to stay so he brought her to the loft but after that, she never saw him anymore. She thinks he got caught but she doesn't really know.
relevant family members : None. She's an only child and has completely shunned out her parents since they disowned her 4 years ago. I feel like it would be unnecessary to bring up her parents/ family since she's trying so hard to move on from that part of her life.
friends :
→ Jay Park | 23 | mysterious, cold, egotistic | He's the drug dealer that got AhReum into drugs. One look at a person and he can tell what they're going through even if they have the toughest mask on which is why he offered AhReum such a strong depressant like morphine to numb out the pain. They meet only when needed, when she's out and needs more. There were times when he was on the run and needed a place to stay so he slept at her apartment for more drugs. When he brought her to the loft, he didn't do it without some money in exchange. They have a weird give and take relationship but that's all it goes to. That doesn't mean that they actually trust each other.
loft kids :
→ dirty diana | In a sense, AhReum idolizes her. She wishes that she can feel no emotions like her and live a life with no strings attached to anything, but then again this is something that she would never show. However, there is a slight difference to the way AhReum treats her to the other people at the loft. If others ask her something, she would reply with something crude and harsh even though it would be uncalled for but if she asks her a question, she might give out a phrase or even a full sentence with a minimal amount of curses when she gets more morphine or heroin. If others get too close to her, she'll tell them to back off but if she comes that same distance, AhReum might just stand her ground, copying the way she holds herself high with confidence.
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「 Hey there lonely girl 」 love interest + age: Sungjong + 20 personality: He's fresh out of high school because he was left back a year or two. He never really elaborates, but because of that, he still has that "child" mindset. He can be so full of himself sometimes. It's comes to the point where this "confidence" he claims to have has grown into full blown arrogance. Now that he's officially an adult and his parents can't technically force him to go to college without going to jail for assault (not abuse since he's legal), he has full reign of his own life. This new power makes him feel like he's on top of the world and it doesn't help that all the noonas can't get enough of his smile. His arrogance drives all of his snarky comments. He can't stay still and wants to live out his life to the fullest while he still can. He has absolutely no regrets. Nothing can hold him back.
relationship with character: He's that annoying neighbor who lives right across the hall that you hate. His ego makes him feel like he has authority over everyone and it doesn't help that AhReum has confidence issues. She has deep feelings of animosity for him especially because he feels he can come in and trample all over everyone. He only makes her feel more insecure and she transfers this pain that he causes her into feelings of anger. Sure she glares at everyone, even the people she doesn't know, for no reason but let's just say that because she has a reason for him, he gets just a little more glares here and there. However, despite her hate, one touch from him and she's putty in his arms. He's got her right in her trap and she's just in denial, covering up everything with that same mask she's sure can fool anyone, that is except him and he knows exactly how to use it to his advantage. Once he's done with her, he can just throw her away like every other noona he's met.
first impression of him : With one look at Sungjong and that sweetly devious smile he gave her, the mask AhReum put on made her feel the bile rise up in like snake venom pouting down it. On the other hand, the real her felt intrigued and conflicted by such an innocent looking boy who as definitely matured was beyond his years. The mask, though, made her push all those thoughts to the side, ignoring them, so that all she could feel for him was her heart pumping mad with hostility and resentment.
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「 the zone 」 comments : Haha. I have no idea what I just put there. Was it okay? I dunno. I just have a thing for internal conflicts. I love trying to figure out what a person is thinking or feeling. I just think peoples' thoughts are more interesting than their actions. requests: Well, I don't really have that much to request. I'm making it all up to you because you're the author-nim. |
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