There are a collection of questions a person shouldn’t ask. Like, ever. Unless of course, they want to be like me and bask in oh--that-just-did-not-happen-please-kill-me-now moment.

Now, you may or may not be wondering what these questions are, right? Well, I’m sure you might know them. They’re:

i. Is that a girl or a boy?

ii. Is he gay, or just effeminate?

iii. Baby bump or...fat?

I fall victim to questions three. It happened last year (correction: oops, wasn't last year. It was when I was in sixth grade. Roughly...er...I'm too lazy to do the math. But it was a good while ago - see what happens when you rush! Tsk.) at a relative’s wedding - my cousin, more specifically. Her close friend was over helping out with setting up when she walked over to me and started a conversation. Suddenly, she places a hand on her stomach, wincing. She tells me that the baby just kicked and that she needed to sit down for a second. Me being a me - aka a total idiot - started at her, baffled. And me being me - again, a total idiot - asked her, “You’re pregnant?”

*headdesk.

Thankfully, she laughed it off and took no offence whatsoever. It's...just...gosh. Wow. I can't even blame the fact that I tend to disregard most things on people (e.g. I won't notice if you got a new haircut unless you shaved your head bald. Seriously. And if you got braces? Won't realize it until someone else points it out).

But yeah, those questions...just don't ask, people. Don't. You might regret it. And hey, curiousity killed the cat (or maybe poor curiousity was just blamed, ha-ha).

--Steins.