I'm actually writing this as I'm crying my heart out. So please excuse any errors...

Jaejoong, the love of my life; the one I adore with all my soul closed his twitter...

It was the only method for me to communicate to him. To know that he's fine, safe and happy. And now he deleted it... because he was hacked.

Nobody will understand how I feel. I don't know even why I'm writing this... I feel useless... I feel stupid... I have a mix of emotions

It just hurts. It hurts so much to know that he isn't on Twitter anymore. That it will be more difficut to know how he is; if he's fine, sad, drunk, depressed, happy...

I love him. I truly do. I don't love him as a fan, I love him as a woman who loves a man. That's why it hurts so much... and I miss him everyday. I pray for him everyday. I care for him everyday. I love him everyday. And to know he's like gone from the only tool I could knew about him, breaks my heart.

I feel like dying. Sounds ridiculous, but those are my feelings right now. I can't even stop crying.

And as I'm writing this, thinking about him, more tears fall.

I'm sorry... I'm sorry Jaejoong that I'm too far away and that I can't protect you the way I want to. I'm sorry that you think everything's bad in this world. But I'm more sorry than I'm egoist enough to want you to come back.

I'm going away. I'm going far away...