It is rare for me to have back-to-back Shinee dreams. But I had another really-life-like one last night and Onew was the star.

It must be his payback. It must really ing be his payback. I'm entirely convinced of it. Even after I said sorry and was on a guilt trip all yesterday...

My bias is a vengeful, ruthless bastard

So somehow I ended up going to this fancy restuarant with some Kpop idols and fans. When I was about to sit next to some of the girls I had chatted with earlier, I noticed there was one empty seat next to Onew so I went there and asked, "Is this seat reserved?" and he just shook his head at me. So I sat down all nervous and . Watched him interact with some of the otehr idols, but never any fans. Then me, my dumb self, I decided I didn't want to be left out so I started to play with him too. Only...I don't think he liked it too much. I'd poke him, tickle him, say something silly, mess with his hair, throw little bits of ice at him. Like the IDOLS were doing. But he just...withdrew. He blushed alot, didn't say anything (not that Onew says much in any dream I have about him. I don't know why) and just would stare at me whenever I did something to him. It was really ing awkward. 

But after a while he did kinda loosen up and start to play back, just with a little smile on his face. Even when I got up to sit in his lap to mess with him he was okay. (we were a bunch of animals in that restuarant. I'm suprised they didn't kick us out.) Then he started to laugh more and stuff...and got a . ALL THAT GOOD STUFF....

...until some ugly sitting across from us said something, trying to drag his attention away. I had noticed her staring at us before and I know she probably didn't say anything because she saw Onew wasn't taking to me. BUT NOW...she tried to join in on our "fun"  And ing Lee Jinki talked back to her like it wasn't nothing. Like i didn't just spend almost 15 minutes trying to get him to at least SMILE at me. And when I say she was an ugly , its no joke. I'm no diamond in the ruff myself but that ...ew.

Then the scene switched and all three of us were in the same bed, Onew in between us. I think we were all and I'm not sure if anything had happened before. But THIS is the part that really broke my ing heart. He was laughing and flirting wih that nasty looking whale and she was his chest and all that . But whenever I'd try to flirt or talk...it was like I wasn't even there. and it seemed like the more I tried to get his attention, the more he ignored me and catered to her! T_____T  Like, I felt like they would just right there. In front of me. while I was still in the bed. I was at the point of shaking his arm and calling out his name. It was no use. And you can't imagine how that feels. The one man you totally adore over ANY guy and to have him all warm and real next to you, seeing his exposed upper body and feeling his hair tickle your ear and having him all close to you and feeling him breathe...but you're not even there. I think before they went to making out, my subconcious kinda faded it out or I woke up to pee, I dunno. I'm thankful for that

So hurtful.

Onew has ignored me before in dreams. Or seemed like he didn't want me all up on him. Its pretty common and I'm used to it. I think it means something deeper than what I see so I don't worry about it anymore. But to be ignored for another and while I was JUST getting in his good graces...

NO. Hell no.

That was PAYBACK. 

And if I see a in the street who looks like her, , I will punch the outta her. -______-

(I don't know if I'm serious or not. That is the sad part.)

Yeah....I'm pissed off. 

That spiteful .

Wherever he is, I hope he feels guilty for a least ten seconds on my behalf. 

No love lost. Just...that was cold.