Another problem came up and now it is my, or used to be, clique.

They are a group of guys and the guy( Let's just call him A ) I like is inside the clique too. Ever since A started to avoid me, they have been avoiding me as well. We were all such close friends and we will often eat together after school. But recently, they have been avoiding me as well. One of the guys who I can trust as well, have been avoiding me too. 

At first I did not realise it but recently they did not even say a word a all to me. Is it because they do not want to after they found out I like A or is it because A ask them not to? To me, everyday is like living hell.  In the past, I would use to have fun everyday, laughing without worries. Now, I have to put on a smile. I assure my girlfriends that I am alright but actually, I'm not. The more I tried not to think or care about him, the more I will.

I have been avoiding A as well but it seems like we will meet each other wherever we go. For example, I went to the library today and after a while, he went there too. Coincidence much? One of my good friend, who is also my partner, has been helping me deal with A as they are good friends but it seems no matter how much my partner tried talking to A, A still decides to ignore me.

I used to be A's best girl friend but now, 2 girls have taken my position. He would always talk to them and talk about me to them. Everytime I see them together, my heart will always be filled with jealousy but I tried to ignore them. The 2 girls are also my good friend but after I found out that they know I like A because A told them, I can't seem to talk to them. It is so awkward. I also feel like if I post something about him in my Twitter and Facebook, they will tell A and A will hate me more.

My partner and some of my close friends who knew what happened always try to comfort me and I feel guilty for troubling them. I know I should stop thinking about him and not caring about him but I just can't bring myself to do so. I feel like going over to A and forcing him to talk to me and take me back as his best girl friends instead of those girls. 

Aish, I'm so troubled now and I do not even want to go school. I tried drowning myself with homework. I worked but only for a few hours. After that, it is all back to square one. :(