Yeah, I know, blog spam. But today is my day and I will NOT let it go to waste.

SOOOO my bestie and I (AlexisRockell on AFF) have this...theory about Onew. I guess we can call it a theory...I'm not taking it out the title so...

Anyway, we notice that in a lot of pictures Onew seems to look really shapely. Like, female shapely. O.O Yeah I know, it sounds so bad, but i swear....he really does. He looks like he has wide hips and his waist goes in. Its really present when he wears those TIIIGHT skinny jeans. Even, EVEN though I know his thighs are kinda big because he played soccor and he dances all the time, they look feminine too. And then besides Dubulge....da JUNK in his TRUNK. OMG OMG OMG let me just post examples. Here's one I just threw together:

Shut up, I know its crappy >.<

But I mean, I know the skirt sticks out a liiiiitle more making the illusion of hips....but as you can see, his stick out WAY more and you can't blame it on the skirt because he's not wearing a different or thicker skirt than the rest of Shinee. Also notice how tight his shirt is when the others are loose around the tummy/waist area. Fuller tummies are feminine to me too. Doesn't he seem to just..idk...swell? 

Now Exhibit B!:

If you pay attention to around 12:05, you see his jiggle. And then EVER so subtly at around 12:37. If it jiggles like that when he's not moving much, then you KNOW it got some weight on it. (I'm not a ert...okay well not a HUGE one so don't think I'm just always scoping out idol asses) This is just for kicks (and REALLY exaggerated hehe XD) but this is something I drew one day:

The back story for this is that Shinee are backstage and Taemin, Jjong and Minho think it would be a HILARIOUS idea to trick Onew. So they make up some BS story about how their doing some roleplay thing or something (idk USE YOUR IMAGINATIONS >:) and they want Onew to be the harlet or teh e. eh. lol. well Onew agrees of course cause he'll do anything for his dongsaengs-and besides he's bored as hell. Also silly enough to be up for anything. -_- hehe. So they shove some clothes in his arms and he's putting them on behind the curtain and theeeen....the curtains pull back before he's fully dressed. And there you have it XD BTW, is it better in black or white? AHAHA total MJ ref.

Dialogue

Taemin: Uh, hyungs? I think we're gonna die..." Hm, someone sounds guilty. Regret much? keke ITS TOO LATE. THE DINO AND FROG HAVE BROUGHT YOU TO YOUR DOOM.

Dino/Frog: The "keke" symbols and the "snorts". smh

My failed attempt at Key: "YAH! Why is Onew out there like that?

Audience member 1: "Onew sangtae...?"   Audience Member 2: "OMO!"    Audience member 3: "WTF?" 

Words off to the side." so big like the SUN..." Lyrics quote from sogn by American artist Trina. Song: Look Back At Me (I kinda dedicate that to Onew. Btw, if you listen to it, I imagine Onew doing the girl's part. *evil cackle*) And then my signature: Dria (^.^)

Onew: Anime sweat drop and storm cloud above head. Appropriately placed, I say. Poor guy. I'm so bad :3

And here's just a few more pics that I have butchered for arguement's sake so you should like, agree so I wouldnt have done this for nothing:

Red: Onew 

Blue: Rest of Shinee

Note: I know some of his clothes might seem to give an illusion of hips. But no. Sure they're there. I tried  to see beyond the suit jackets and such.

^ For this  one, I know you can't help but direct your eyes to those chocolate abs *foams at own mouth* but I really want you to pay attention to his hips, , etc. Actually, how could you NOT pay attention to all of that? *cough* damn....

Are you convinced yet? , you should be.

Personally, I blame all the hormone infested chicken. Dubulge = chicken. Why else would he just have a huge slinki when the other's aren't as big? Where do the damn curves come from when he's MALE and EXERCISES probably 96% of his life? I'm telling you...teh chicken or a slower metabolism (than the rest of Shinee). Or both.

And I mean, its ALREADY bad enough that he looks REALLY feminine when he crossdresses. Most times looking prettier than everyone else (even the diva. Yeah, I said it >.O.) Give him s, makeup, and a wig and he's set. Seriously. Look, and you tell me who looks the MOST convincing. And don't be biased!:

Who did you pick? If it was Minho or Key then er...O.o 

Who looks the prettiest? Who OWNS that female body? WHO DID YOU LOOK AT FIRST? (If it was Jjong, it was because of the mane. If it was Tae, it was because of...well cause its Tae. (LOL@ me choosing for you. But thats not the point!)

Onew just has this weird body type thats REALLY masculine at the top but really femmed-out at the bottom. Well, at least thats what me and bestie believe. Dubulge is the only thing at the bottom thats like...contradicting this. But oh well. We like Dubulge. :3

*Sigh* I rest my case.

Stay tuned for part 2!! ^^

P.S I know, I know, most of you would argue that Keybutt beats Chickenbutt by a landslide. Thing is, Keybutt is a cute shape. Chickenbutt is just big. kthnxbye

P.P.S I lied about kthnxbye. I also forgot to mention how I think its Y AS PHUCK that Onew is curvy. Now commence kthnxbye. :3