I had a rough week at work, as usual, especially thar deadlines are coming up. I keep making mistakes even though I try my best to do everything they tell me to, then somehow I always end up messing something else up. I tried resting, but my brain is not cooperating with me and keeps wanting to do a lot of things, those that I wasn't able to because I had to work. But one weekend is short, and I dont want to take a day off more than usual because then the work will just pile up again. 

I had a great time watching Seventeen's online concert. It was definitely worth the money I spent on the ticket, and effort that I did while practicing Us, Again and participating in the event. I was so happy and was moved to tears a couple of times. But during the time I was watching, I still had to try my best not to get annoyed with the people surrounding me (I live in a sharehouse), who said they wanted to watch as well, but were doing other things around, distracting me and making me dizzy. There was just too much stimuli that I almost blowed up. Good thing there's a delay broadcast that I can still watch, alone, this time, that's if I wake up in time.

Now, a few hours later, my mind still can't rest. I still can't sleep. I keep dreading Monday, knowing I have to work again, and that there won't be a new Going Seventeen episode. I keep thinking tomorrow will not be enough for me to rest and do the things I want to do. Most of all, I feel empty.

I played chess online and lost 7 times consecutively, making me drop 60 places in the rankings. This was a sign that my brain is really stressed, not because I lost, but because the moves I made were pointless, careless and stupid. I may be all of those in real life, but never chess. It's the one thing I'm actually good at, but apparently not right now.

I tried talking to people, but of course everyone's asleep now. I don't even know what to talk about, anyway. I tried reading, but I can't really grasp any of the words. I tried listening to music, but I keep jumping from one playlist to another, one genre to another, unsatisfied.

Now, I'm here, writing this to pour all my feelings out and I still don't know what to do. Sorry to bother you.