EXTRAS virgo, infp

— seems like a hufflepuff, is actually a slytherin

— looks like they could kill you, is actually a cinammon roll 

TRAITS

pos affectionate, sacrificial, playful, hard working

introspective neutral flustered, dramatic

critical, insecure, sensitive, reticent neg

ELABORATION 

idol junyeob

when the cameras are rolling, fans immediately associate the words "cute" and "playful" to junyeob and they would be right. he's very affectionate with s, always holding onto someone or just standing close to them. it's easy to see the love he has for them through his actions and it helps him break down barriers of awkwardness. he's honestly a bit of a dork. he likes to joke around with the others, clowning others or even himself to fill the room with laughter. he's easy to tease and just talk to because of this playful nature of his and he gladly accepts jokes and teasings with a good heart. 

one of the main reasons fans seem to love him so much and why he's often the victim of good natured teasing is because of his reactions. as much as he's playful and loves to fool around, he's actually quite easily flustered, still a bit shy to be around people or in front of cameras. having been quite reclusive as a trainee, he isn't used to the bits of attention he gets and it causes him to almost panic, ultimately bringing out laughs from those around him. 

as an idol, he finds it important to keep the viewers entertained and he wants to make the mood bright when he's with s. he works hard to keep conversations going or boost the energy. the members will say he's dramatic when it comes to reactions but most of them are his genuine feelings and it helps to keep the tension high and provide more content for the fans. 

when the cameras are off

not to say that the image he shows on screen is fake but there is a lot more to junyeob than what he allows people to see. the few things people can visually see is that he's extremely hard working and very sacrificial. he believes that the reason he was able to debut wasn't because of his skills but because he had worked so hard for it. there are people who are naturally talented and then there's junyeob, who poured his blood, sweat, and tears, to create who he is now from scratch. he makes sure to give his 110% for his dreams and nothing less. he fears that he'll become as lacking as he was during his trainee years if he isn't giving it all he's got. 

he's also very sacrificial when it comes to s. people may say that it's because he's kind but it mainly stems from his insecurities. of course, he'll sacrifice with a genuine heart when it comes to things like food or games, but when it comes to music, he'll take a step back because he doesn't trust his own abilities. he'll give up certain lines or even opportunities because he thinks s can do far better than he can and he tends to hold himself back out of fear. 

it's the critical part of him that made him become so insecure. the scoldings and harsh words he heard during his trainee days continued to stay with him and he's becoming harder on himself than anyone ever was. he knows he could be a bit more lenient with himself but he can't help it. any mistake he makes has frustration burning in his chest and although he's kind and encouraging to s, he hates on himself for the simplest of things. 

from this self hatred stemmed a very sensitive side to junyeob. he had always been someone who seemed to feel things very easily and after having struggled emotionally during his predebut years, his heart grew soft and almost weak. as much as he can get touched with the simplest of gestures, he can also get hurt with the littlest insult. sometimes he thinks his heart feels far too much than a normal person should and it shows as he's quick to tears, usually the first person to get emotional.

strangely enough, as much as the members have seen junyeob cry during their movie marathons, they realize that they've never really seen junyeob actually c r y. a part of him refuses to let anyone see him cry while he's struggling because he wants to be strong for them. he's quite reticent for someone so sensitive and never lets others know what's really going on in his heart. he'd much rather keep his problems to himself instead of feeling like a burden to the members. the only time he can freely share his thoughts is through his music and lyrics, which has become a healthy outlet for him.

due to his ability to be very introspective, he's constantly looking within himself, always examining his own thoughts and feelings. as someone who feels easily, he wants to figure out why he tends to feel a certain way or what he can do to better himself. it's this trait that makes it easy for him to write lyrics, always having a million thoughts to jot down and then mold into musical poetry. he genuinely enjoys reflecting on himself and will occasionally have deep talks with the members he can rely on with his troubles. 

junyeob's life was never anything special. he never felt like he was a particularly extraordinary person or even a person who had suffered too much. he was just ,, in the middle. of course, he did have his struggles and perhaps, they were the pushing force behind him eventually becoming an idol.

his mother had passed away early in his life so it had almost always been just him and his dad. his father was a quiet, serious man who never really spoke much and the two of them never had the closest relationship. they would exchange the simple pleasantries of "how was your day" or "did you eat anything yet?" but nothing deeper. it made junyeob crave more intimate relationships, wondering why there was such a wall between him and his father.

being a child of a man who never seemed to express himself well, it felt almost inevitable that junyeob would become that way as well. he was a boy that had many emotions and many thoughts but he never learned how to show them, how to let them out, and they seemed to stay bottled up inside. 

it wasn't until he went to a festival during his first year of high school that he was introduced to the full rawness of music. as he stood in the audience, he found that he couldn't tear his eyes away as the performer seemed to be pouring his heart out into the song. it was as if his soul was crying and reaching out to junyeob and telling him "you're not the only one who feels this way. i understand you." for the first time in his life, junyeob cried, realizing that there were so many things he wished he could tell his father. i'm lonely. i miss mom. i wish we were different. i wish you would tell me you loved me. from that day on, he allowed himself to pour out his inner thoughts onto paper, deciding that he needed music in his life or he would die with all these emotions and thoughts just rotting inside him. 

of course, when he told his father his newly discovered dream of pursuing music, it wasn't well received. his father was a firm and realistic man. anything of the arts seemed so uncertain and a one in a million chance. it caused the wall between them to grow even stronger, a flicker of hatred now starting to burn inside junyeob. eventually, in his junior year, junyeob couldn't handle living with his stoic father and he left. he left a single note behind to tell his dad he couldn't stay with him any longer and moved in with one of his friends to continue pursuing music. 

PREDEBUT EXPERIENCES n/a

TRAINEE YEARS 5 years

TRAINEE LIFE

other trainees

having been quite insecure upon first joining the company, junyeob was surprisingly quiet and unsociable with the other trainees. he never did it to be rude. rather, he felt as though he wasn't allowed to interact with those who seemed so far above him. he felt like the ugly duckling, awkward and out of place amongst such talented individuals. instead of making friends, he kep to hismself and just focused on practice, practice, practice so maybe he could one day be worthy enough to befriend those around him. compared to the others, he knew he was far lacking and there were many who ridiculed him, saying he only got accepted into the company due to his looks. so many people sneered at him, telling him he didn't have to be working so hard, that the company would let him debut just because he was handsome. 

monthly evaluations

if he wasn't getting enough crap from the other trainees, he would get it from his trainers. junyeob couldn't recall a monthly evaluation where he got praised for his skills. he had a bad habit of focusing on one aspect of his training, that he'd start to lack in other areas and there was always something to point out in his performances. the lack of praise haunted him, feeding his insecurities as he dreaded every new month. 

his slump

being someone who focused on rap and vocal skills, dancing wasn't exactly something he did well in. compared to those who seemed to immediately pick up the moves and routine, junyeob's body just didn't seem to follow and a hatred for dance began to grow in his heart. it frustrated him beyond belief, hating himself for being so unable to do something that seemed easy for others. for moves that others seemed to pick up quickly, junyeob had to constantly practice it over and over again just to retain it in his memory. he was always messing up during practice and it only led to emotional distress as his frustration towards himself grew. at one point, he was giving all of his time to practicing dancing that he was focusing less on his rap and singing. eventually, he wasn't doing well in all three areas and he hit a major slump. there was a growing sense of self hatred and he couldn't figure out why someone like him was in the company. he began to hate practice time, his body following through with the schedules but his heart was never fully there. 

discouraged

as years went by and he felt so stuck in his skills, it felt like he couldn't do anything but be discouraged. he watched as people he trained with or even younger, newer trainees start to debut while he was still stuck in the practice room. there were countless moments when he wanted to give up and he questioned whether joining the company had been the right choice. seeing kids younger than him debut made him feel as though he had already missed the right timing and lost his chance. he struggled a lot with depression, anxiety, loneliness, and even the ocassional suicidal thought while training. no matter how badly he wanted to give up, he found that he couldn't. he was afraid that his father's words would be right, that he really wasn't capable of becoming a singer and doing well. it was the tiny thought of wanting to prove to both his father and himself that kept him going. 

FUTURE EXPERIENCES

– appears on king of masked singer to show off his vocal abilities

» here

– lyricist/composer work for blackout

very healing, soft vibes

» blue and grey ; bts

» mixtape #2 ; skz

» us, again ; svt

SCANDALS n/a

CONCEPTS/SPECIALTIES he's actually able to pull off most concepts due to his duality on stage. he much prefers charismatic concepts, feeling as though the charm of his raps are able to shine even more. 

FUTURE SOLOS + UNITS all songs are linked!

– rap unit!! ! !

» ddaeng ; bts

» untitled ; 3racha

» runner's high ; 3racha

– duet w/ vocalist

» being left ; zico ft dvwn

» 4 o'clock ; v & rm

– unoffical/unreleased self composed songs

uploaded to blackout's spotify page

» will be happy ; j_ust

» hope ; ha hyunsang

» i hate to admit it ; bang chan

» what kind of future ; woozi

(honestly, you don't have to include these since they're such popular songs but kfsjd i felt like they captured the essence of junyeob's struggles and emotions so well)

solo mixtape "junyeop's diary"

a lot of people are surprised when they hear the aggressive side of him in this mixtape because they never really associate that image with him, especially since he comes off as so bright and sweet with s

» the last ; agust d

» so far away ; agust d ( ft 2 vocalist members )

» hide and seek ; mad clown ( ft a vocalist )

» fear ; mino ( ft a vocalist )