What if...

What if I still love you? 


I'm debating with myself whether I should message you just to ask this question. What if I still love you? What if it's still you? Until now... what if it's still you? What do I do? Did I mess things up? Have I ed up this time? What do I do? If I do figure out that I am still in love with you?


Three months since we last talked, yes? When we agreed to not cross that line we once attempted to cross before, but realized we can't go on much further and decided to draw between us again. We don't have the right to disregard that line again because neither of us can't own up to that decision (if ever we make it).

Wrong timing.. It's what you call it. And maybe I just willed myself to believe it. Just so we can get this over and done with. Just so we could both start moving on. 

Let me tell you that I tried. And I also thought I did. It felt like I did. But now, right now, I can't be sure. And I hate this feeling. I don't want this. But lately it's all I've been thinking about. And it frustrates me because I shouldn't be thinking about you anymore. I shouldn't. I should be thinking about him and not you but... . Why am I here again?


Ayoko na. Ayoko na ng ganito. Ayokong makasakit kahit na nasasaktan na din ako at nahihirapan. Bakit pakiramdam ko naman mahal ko siya. Mahal ko siya. Pero bakit parang mahal pa din kita? Hahaha putangina.


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