Last night, I did it again

When I thought I would never did the same thing ever again

But all of a sudden the feelings just got me

I just wanted to cry

So I cried

Feeling the familiar tears running down my face

Hugging my whole body and curled up at the corner of my bed

I cried to sleep after so long

But there was something different 

I did not know why I cried

I just wanted to

While listening to Billie's songs

And when my favorite song of hers came up

when the party's over just really mirrored my heart so much

So much that tears just came down naturally

I found my hand landed at the back of my head

Slowly, I rubbed it gently

Like telling myself

I love you, you did well

One thing that came up in my mind was him

Maybe it's really the time to let go

He is not mine to begin with anyway

But every little thing that he did affect me so much

That lately every songs and movies are about him

I'm giving up on you, let me let you go

Please don't play with my heart again, it hurt when you hang up on me

Please let me easily see you as just a friend

Please don't give your attention and time to me again, when you are the same as everyone else

I like it when you are next to me, but I know you will leave me too

Nothing is better sometimes, drowning in tears is better sometimes

I just want to cry, that's all

And I will try hard to keep my smile on for everybody to see

Although I just want to cry

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