i feel like i keep on floating around

it is not me

i am the one who always know what i want to do

what i am going to do

and how to achieve it

but now i am just making empty promises with myself and with the people around me

everytime i wake up in the middle of the night

or open my eyes in the morning before my alarm starts to blast loudly

there's always this hollow in my chest

telling me to take actions

to stop going in circles

but i just don't know, i feel like i am stuck in one place

a place that i don't really want to stay 

but if i leave, i'm afraid i will break even more

or perhaps i'm already broken 

broken into pieces that i can't even get them back together

i keep on crying these days

i find myself can easily cry

when i used to hold it back

but now the tears just flow out

so uncontrollable that i cannot even hold it back anymore

perhaps this time, it is my calling

to really just go

go to the place that i need to go

no matter how dark that place is

no matter how i think i will never survive

i just need to go

take the risk and go