On complaining
Ok, see...
I am pretty sure that some of my loyal readers know very well how much I complain about my writing. And, I’m pretty sure that they are sick of it.
Most of them are so nice and tell me positive things about my stories. They say that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself... that I’m pretty good... and yet I keep complying so. ing. MUCH.
Almost seems like a cry for attention. Which I wish was the case.
I wish I really truly just wanted attention.
Truth be told, I’m stressed. I want to get better but the process is so excruciating and frustrating slow, that I keep falling back on less refined methods of calming down my own self.
And thus... complaining.
While I can’t deny I need some level of recognition to keep my motivation to write, it’s definitely not my main driving force. After all, I’ve been writing for a looong time and... not always to raging reviews. Haha. Oh boy... let’s not dwell any longer on that.
Which brings me to my next point... why do I keep writing AND even promoting my work if I think it’s so bad?
Well...
I used not to, you know? I used to naively hope that I could be like one of those awesome authors whose works are SO INSANELY GOOD that they get recommended by others and thus they don’t need any promotions and then everyone rushes to read and celebrate all their stories and... sadly... I am not that person. I’m just not that awesome.
Which is fine.
So I post. And promote. And post.
How else am I to improve if nobody reads what I write? Sure it’s just fanfics but I like fanfics. And maybe I can get some original stories out of all this chaos.
So there we have it. A long post with barely anything to hold this all together.
So why do I keep complaining? Because I’m not satisfied with my writing yet. I know I lack words, I know the flow is awkward at times, I know I am deeply ashamed of some stuff that I write and yet...
Thanks for sticking around ❤️
Comments