help -- plz read

so i discovered that i've been having anxiety/panic attacks.

it kinda happened just by me casually diagnosing myself. i've also been kinda worried that i've been having multiple occasions of heart palpitations. i went to a cardiologist and they didn't seem to find anything wrong -- took an ultrasound and everything.

i had a mild attack a few nights ago right before i came back to school. my chest was really tight and i had trouble breathing...idk...luckily my dad had me do some breathing exercises until i got back to normal again. i guess i've been dealing with some really heavy things subconsciously -- some having to do with school and others having to do with a loved one that's not doing too well right now.

do you guys have any suggestions as to how i can deal with this better haha (sorry it's worded awkwardly hehe)

i had a talk with my friend/roomie and she had some suggestions about narrowing my thinking if i ever dealt with an attack on my own. it made sense.

gahh idk what to do. i don't want to talk to a doctor or anything cuz i feel like that would just make things worse. my dad kinda understands but my mom says it's just all in my head but IT'S NOT. i'm the type of person who tries to suppress their emotions to the point of insanity, to not look vulnerable in front of people.

sorry i feel like i rambled a lot in this post...i just don't really know what to do haha

dolce-peach

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MidnightOnyx #1 Feb 1, 2019 03:03:11

Aww honey I get it, trust me. I was diagnosed with Anxiety and PTSD a few years ago, I get it. I've never had any full out panic attacks to the way you described...not really I don't think. I do know that it is debilitating when you can't stop thinking, worrying about stuff you don't have control of, at least for me that's what it is. I need to control things in my life and if I can't (which a lot of the time I can't), I panic. They tried putting me on anti depressants and all and that made me feel worse. Eventually I decided to just do it on my own, no drug was going to help me.

So I have to focus, I have to distract myself. Writing has ALWAYS been my outlet, poetry, fiction, it's what I do...that and puzzles. As crazy as it sounds, I did puzzles when I was in the thick of it. I got pulled out of work and I did puzzles late at night. It forced me to focus on something other than what was bothering me and whatnot to get my mind off it so I could relax, I can't begin to say how much it helped. I don't do them so much anymore, but at the time, they were a lifesaver.

Work caused my anxiety and ptsd to come out, but it stems from issues in my childhood that my job at the time caused to come to ahead. It's not resolved, I need to go back to therepy because I feel like that would help. I was going, but something related to my then job caused me to stop and I haven't gone back. I still stress...a lot. Sometimes to the point that I can't sleep, I get dizzy and overly nervous and worry incessantly only to usually not have it be anywhere near as bad as I'm expecting. But KPop helps, as well as reading and of course I still write too...watching dramas, movies, whatever it takes.

I don't know that saying to someone that it's in your head is the way to go. If you could handle it and it wasn't so bad, then it wouldn't be. To be told it's in your head seems...I dunno...it's hard for others to understand when they don't live it, don't know what it feels like. If I could stop it, I would, because I hate how I feel when it's happening. It's not that easy to just "get over it".

Talking helps, always helps. It's hard for me, cause like you, I bottle it up until I can't handle it, it's what I've always done and it's lead to this.

I know you don't know me, but I'm always here if you need to talk or vent ok? I'm here. Feel free to DM me anytime.

Stay strong