About time...the reason

Oh well… I don't really write blogs wjenjdfjjdjfie

I will hide this within a week *blinks*

Um...Hi...I am back

I said 5 days right? Maybe add couple more hours Ik I am late.

I low-key expected 90% of my friendlist to block me or something kwnfjenxjdj ... Overthinking piece of me ;_:

So,

When I say I am taking a break I Completely Utterly Totally cut off myself from social sites or apps

No matter wherever you message me It won't reach cause of course I logged out or hibernated the app.

I am definitely not Ignoring because I am not even aware.

Can you believe I am not accepting calls from Dad since a week (P.S:- I should prepare for nuclear attack from him by now...wish me luck)

I am pretty sure most of us might have felt it….

The urge to leave….

Not return…

It's complicated...how you want everyone to forget about you in a instant.

Like, you don't even exist.

But unfortunately you can’t.

This calls for a break …. …space….time to search for yourself….

Control yourself…. Ask yourself ….answer yourself….

To turn back into who you were.

The person you love yourself for.

This happens, and very few things triggers me as of that day ...whatever happened maybe unintentionally triggered me and few people I don't want to talk about it... I understand we can't help misunderstandings .....I don't want to recall or argue over it xD -Shut Down processing-

I don't do this often but it's my second break Within three months.

So yeah…

As I said earlier ...before leaving…

That 'I am not blaming anyone’

Anyone = Anyone.

Even if 'you' know 'you' did lets stop discussing it I don't want to point out someone or blame anyone...I will ignore that entire topic for sake of no-drama

Few things triggers me ….but hey I always stay, …. it's just that there were too many things at same time ….I had nowhere to go.

It was like I was a lone king on chess board.

Trying to run away and protect myself send my soldiers off the board to save them.

With checkmate on since I had real life issues as well.

(I'm writing a 5K one/two -shot for it do look forward for it)

I wanted time to think about everything.

I am usually unreactive/least-bothered person with happy soul who wants everyone happy …. who doesn't share her inner storms.

Sometimes….I need space….because no one can make those storms/fear/feelings inside me go away except me.

And that requires ABSOLUTE peace of mind.

I am not saying that I Don't see anyone worthy of helping me but...how can you help me with something I can't even help at some point?

You would reply, “I am sorry I wish I could do something for you”

I swear to god I hate being a bother to anyone…… I hate making you worry about me…. I don't want to spoil your day with my gloominess….

I just want y’all happy.

And I can't keep/make y’all happy unless I am stable, happy myself.

You understand now?

You know the best thing you should do is support me to go through it.

And no, don't worry I am not at all suicidal no matter what I go through and few bunch of people hating me won't make me end my ever so precious life.

I won't stop struggling until this all ends.

Unfortunately I can't actually tell everyone of ... what's going on. But please don't worry about me

-- I am not sick or dying

-- Nobody is bullying me

-- I don't have health/mental problems.

-- I am not being pressured for something I don't want to do.

My babies here,

You can't help me with real life issues and those a**ho*** I have to handle these days.No you can't, even if you try….(Talking about who I meet everyday not anyone here who is being a**h****--ish with me)

I need to learn to stand for myself.

I just want to fight it myself..…

I am sorry I didn't wanted to create a drama on here the sole reason I left and...it had diverse effects of it wow.

W.O.W

I am sincerely sorry everyone.

Thank you for still being there

And I love you.

I don't have words enough to say but everyone on here…. You mean a lot to me.

I feel loved here BUT HEY!… I am so Lovable~~~ who can resist me?? :)

(I know I am not so lovable *coughs* T_T)

P.S:- Have a Wonderful day

P.S.S:- Forgive me if I made you worry at least I didn't disappeared without informing (Gives myself self appreciation award)

In short:- I love you

Comments

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MissusE #1 Mar 27, 2018 15:51:25

Idrk cuz I havent rlly been on for a few days, or maybe this happened before that...
Plus idr understand what's going on...
But uh, hope you're okay, and love you too

Yul-Yeon #2 Mar 26, 2018 17:28:07

I'm so proud of you that you are able to let out your thoughts openly like this. I wish one day I can too.

You are actually a very strong person, you know that? There has been a lot of s going on in your life whether in online or not yet you're determined to struggle until it all ends. Also, you're very dependent. Despite having people around here that truly care about you, you choose to learn to stand by yourself. Plus, you think about other people besides yourself & want everyone to be happy.

I'm very flattered to have a best friend like you & I hope that our friendship will remain for a very long time. Maybe one day we can meet too :)

I love you so much regardless of which accounts we both use or what names we call each other. You always know that I'm still me and I always know that you're still you ♡

Skyful_Poof #3 Mar 26, 2018 10:37:03

I love you, too! Glad you're back, and I totally understand that sometimes you need some space. All I can say is to stay safe and happy no matter where you are. It's very thoughtful of you to think about making us happy, I feel the same way. Let's be happy together, okay?
(Btw, yes, you ARE loveable!)

Ai_Akizuki #4 Mar 26, 2018 07:52:58

Minnie, I love you too. So much. Okay? Please bear that in your mind. You're never a burden to me & I'll never ever force you to stay happy nor wanting you to merely show me your happy-go-lucky vibes because I accept you regardless of what emotions you're feeling or what feelings you're having.

I understand very well when you say you wanted to take a break because I know that it's not something you do often and I respect your decision & even refrained myself from asking such questions like "why" nor bugging or spamming you to come back. Because I knew that you need time and I could truly grasp your meaning of taking a short break. I've been there too.

So bae, try to settle your problems slowly, okay? There's nothing in the world that lasts forever regardless of what it is, including what's happening in your real life :)

And, If there's anyone you want to talk to, I'm always here with my loving arms for you <3

bambislover #5 Mar 25, 2018 23:39:13

I understand you Jimminniee~ah. You have a cool easy going friendly personality. But that doesn't mean you can tolerate everything others do to you. When you are too angry or too sad best thing to do is being silent .Because we say things we never meant to say and loose our loved ones. You did the right thing.I don't know what happened but I know you'd forgive them bcuz you have a beautiful and kind heart and soul. But they should better treat innocent you nicely from now on or bambi eonnie will bite them ! Jimminniee~ah hwaiting !!

LavenderRose #6 Mar 25, 2018 22:45:17

Hey, I know I'm a new friend, but I totally get what your saying. I, myself, don't like depending on others too much because I also find it bother some to them, and worry they might be troubled by me. I recently took a week off, completely shutting myself from everyone, and it felt good. I totally understand when you say you just need time to be by yourself... A lot of people take a day off and relax in the bath, read a book, do things to make them feel better, to heal themselves. But I now know that sometimes you need a couple days, weeks, maybe even months for some. To think about your choices, who you are, your actions, what you want your next move to be, how you'll handle this situation.To put yourself first, and to love yourself first. I told my friends and of course they got worried to, but I asked them to just trust in me, that I won't do anything bad/regretful, and that I'll return to them better than I feel now. And I'll do the same for you. I trust you. I trust you to take all the time you need to do whatever it is. Whether it's just to recharge, to find answers, to explore more of yourself, to do it all. I'll wait patiently until you are ready to come back again.
I love you too, even if we don't know each other well, I love how you accept that you need to take a break from everything. Most people won't even fathom the idea of doing that for a week even. And that is a part of you, so there for I love you too. Take your time <3

LilMinMinniexx #7 Mar 25, 2018 22:00:47

Love you.

RoyalKaiBaekLove #8 Mar 25, 2018 21:59:16

I feel you u.u

dolligore #9 Mar 25, 2018 21:55:53

[shakes head] Minnnie :<