THIS IS AN AUTHOR'S NOTE FOR MY STORY 'PASSION' (End of Chapter 22)

This is gonna probably be a huge mess. But I need to vent, sorta, and explain what is going on with this fanfic.

I think it was getting hard to continue writing Passion because, apart from being really busy, I had kinda lost my way of writing it. That doesn’t really make sense lol, but I’ll try to explain.

It had been so long since I had written anything for it, so when I finally decided to, not only had I forgotten half the things that had even happened in the story, I didn’t know how to write for it. It’s like not doing exercise for a long time and going for a run only for all your muscles to strain and for you to lose your breath quicker. Instead of actually taking the time to build on the storyline, I just half-assed an update in an attempt to keep it going – the last half of Chapter 21 wasn’t even supposed to happen. I made it up on the spot because I had forgotten what I was actually supposed to write, and I thought it sounded nice. Looking back, I think I may have made a mistake, but I’ll make it work somehow. It’s like I just wasted an opportunity to get what I wanted to write out of the way and just distracted from the actual storyline instead.

Which .

Not only for me but for the readers. I got lazy, and I’m sorry for that. I hope it didn’t veer you away from the story.

What brought this all up was yesterday I was wanting to update the story, but seeing as my last update didn’t go to plan, I decided to actually read through Passion so I could stick to the story better. (I’d done that a few times, but only from a few chapters back – this time I actually started from the beginning haha). Suddenly, I was amazed by my own story. It made me so happy and excited. It was so fun to read, I found myself giggling every time I would click onto the next chapter – as if I hadn’t already read each chapter 100 times and written it myself even XD

It was like reading a story written by someone else.

And that’s when realization hit me. I was someone else back then, during those chapters when the plot is dense with details and there’s an actual flow to the storyline, I was motivated and passionate about what I was writing. I took care of my story.

I could see where, in the later chapters, I started to lose that passion (ha!). It became clear that I was no longer writing for myself and because I really wanted to tell a story, I was doing it to please my readers. I honestly appreciate you guys so damn much, like it seriously means SO MUCH to me that people even read my story let alone like it, so it’s not necessarily a bad thing that I was doing that… But, it wasn’t enough. It was all well and good trying to write what I thought my readers wanted to read, but what was the point if I didn’t even want to read it. It’s like a singer doing a concert and, thinking it was what the fans wanted, doing a highly-choreographed dance even though they hated dancing. Sure, they really want to please the fans and repay them for their love, but what is that worth if the singer themselves isn’t enjoying it. The fans would soon see how unhappy they are, and it wouldn’t be as enjoyable for them to watch anymore.

It’s that whole “having fun makes people think you’re fun” sorta thing. If I’m not enjoying my story, then that transfers onto you guys.

I also hadn’t realized it until reading through it, but there are some chapters and events that happen in the story that I wrote COMPLETELY based on real life. Like if that day, something happened that seemed interesting, I would incorporate that into my story. Which really helped me a lot with my plot.

But the problem came when I would have a bad day or something not so great would happen to me. That would show up in my story. I can see it when I read it. And it would really affect my plot, because the story would be heading in a good direction but then I’d have a bad day, so suddenly the characters in Passion were, too.

Sometimes it would work out for me in the end, but it’s just a very dangerous way of writing. I can see that now.

To all the readers who commented on Jaera/Jungkook’s ever-changing moods, I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE. Some of those mood swings were just me being a baby about life, so I’m really sorry. I mean, my characters are meant to have no chill whatsoever, but I think I took it a bit overboard hahaha.

Not all of the events were based on real life, just so you know. There were just a few instances where I would feel like crap, so I’d try to put those feelings into the story because it was easier to write if it was what I was feeling at the time, even if it meant completely ignoring the storyline.

Again, I’m sorry for that. I just pray that there are still people out there who are liking this story.

I actually want to thank one reader, for sparking this whole thing up with their kind words – Mrs_Sacak. I die and cry every single time someone comments on my story, but this one had reminded me of what it’s like to really be into a story, so much that you dismiss anything else you were reading and wait faithfully for an update. I was giving that feeling to someone else, and that really pushed me.

Anywaaaays (I’m rambling too much), after reading my story and picking up on what the problem is, and also finding that spark that made me want to write Passion in the first place, I’m all ready to change it around! I’m set on crafting this story into something that all my readers can enjoy, but also something I can be proud of.

Realizing this has been a blessing. I feel like a weight has lifted from me. And I’m so happy. I just hope that comes through in my writing in the future.

As always, thank you ALL so much. Please don’t be afraid to make my day with a comment or a message! Hope you’ve been well. And thank you again. So, so much.

Stay beautiful,

PurpleFreak96 x♥x