this has nothing to do with aff, this is just me complaining about my life. like have you ever been judge just by your physical appearance? and no, it`s not like your looks. it`s about your skin.

like they go 'look at her, i never thought her arms was this creepy' or ' i never thought her arm would be this thick' and ' don`t look at her ugly face, her friends are quite beautiful' when i hear these, i can swear that my blood was boiling in me.

like can`t they even talk until i can`t hear them? yea, my arms is creepy and thick but what can i do about it? my acne isn`t normal, it`s genetic. it can`t be cured. and thick arms? same goes to genetic but idgaf about that. i have acne, eczema and allergies to i don`t even know what, and those happen to be on my lips.

everything about me can`t be cure, even if it looks cure, it`ll come back. so why judge someone by their physical appearance when you don`t even know what they`ve been through?

and very thanks to my 'friend', they`ve made everything worst. we`re not in the same class but they treat me like a piece of . whenever they see me, they`ll come up to me and say ' hey fatty' or hug me while saying ' your surface area is so large', 'you look fat and short' and yes, literally everytime they see me.

like come on, i`m not short (although i don`t care) but i`m not that fat. i`m average, and the one i was friends with when i was younger, he called me a chiese dish which i don`t know what it`s called but basicly it`s a pork dish that has a lot of fat.

and my ex boyfriend always said to me (when we were still together) 'can`t you eat less to make your body slimer? look at the other girls, they have a good shape' ,when he`s angry 'you fat just shut up', shows me some other girl`s picture' look how hot her body is, and what do you have? you`re not even near'. or ' you? a cup? i think it`s aa, cause i can`t even see it cause it`s so flat'

and don`t even ask how do i even fell for this kind of bull, and no doubt he`s still shoter than me, i`m even taller than his father. f*** him, and i`m telling you he was the reason why i don`t even remember how it feels to be loved, how does it feel to fall in love and what is the feeling of it.

but because of him, i kinda found someone better? i don`t even know if i like him though... i just thinks he`s cute and bright.... and no i`m not a playgirl. i broke up with my ex long enough. although i`d rather go to hell then date him if i knew how it felt like. but this time, this guy is not different just... cute?

and the weirder thing is... i dreamt of a person twice for the first time, cause usually i just dream of it once and no repeating, i don`t make a fuss out of it. but this guy (not the one i think is cute but not bad) i`ll just give him a nickname J cause his name starts with a J.

i dreamt of him, leaning back, closer to me, we were in a classroom, when he leans in closer, it`s like a drama, you can hear the heart beat and slowly turning into light pink. 

how did i even got here... whatever XD. but what does this kind of dream mean? i`m making a big fuss about it cause not doubt he`s popular, not bad looking, and kinda cute(call me crazy, just kill me, i can`t say he`s cuteT-T)

and a tip if you want your crush to like you back(if he doesn`t have a crush on anyone) act dumb to make him teach you, talk to him, chat with him and have a study date. it`s just the matter of time. (not 100% but maybe 65%? cause me, my sis and my senior did the smae thing and succed )