It's 2am and i'm just having a lot of feels.

I became (and i hesitate to label myself as such) an ARMY since the DOPE vid and really got deep with Just One Day (ultra lovely, goals for being the best boyfriend) and We Are Bulletproof (as cringe as that was). Then I found I Need U and from there I really solidified my respect for BTS as proper artists. While the lyrics and the theme doesn't really match (a pet peeve), the overall tone was immense and impressive. It was dark, gloomy, but, most importantly, relatable. It was the outfits, the vibe of the song with a bittersweet track and lyrics, both uplifting yet downtrodding, and the choreography that was just a tad bit more artistic than a lot of other kpop groups I found at the time.

Run was the same story but of a different tone. It showcased a feel that was of defeat, yet with a sense of hope given by uplifting strings in the track that really pushes this imagery of running. Whether it is running to a goal or running from the past, it really makes this great metaphor for youth, which was BTS's intent since I Need U. Both songs, I Need U and Run, are both sides of a coin that is Youth, which BTS presents as The Most Beautiful Moment in Life.

And don't even get me started on the theories or the other tracks. Or when Young Forever was released. Or the Save Me track. Or the final HYYH album with the hot air balloon. 

It was certainly a very beautiful moment in BTS's timeline.

And then Blood, Sweat, and Tears was released, ushering us properly into the WINGS era. I appreciate the change in style and the way they really were pushing for a certain Renaissance aesthetic. It was actually worth the attentiom it got and showcased even more of what BTS can do. The best part of that, though, is Boy Meets Evil because it served as a transition from the dark and painful place of Youth and into this classical and curious segment where the boy grows and meets these vices.

Like the Boy's Inferno.

And I guess Boy Meets Evil is also the best part because it's the only remnant of the HYYH in the WINGS era (not counting Blood, Sweat, and Tears Japanese version; great job BigHit for reopenining the theory box). It's the door to which we enter Evil from Youth, but with a sort of unsaid warning telling us we can't go back. We just have to keep running through it.

I've been rambling for a bit now but what I want to say is...

I miss HYYH BTS. 

Before Wale. Before the y dances. Before the flashy outfits. Before the BBMAs and the serious international acclaim. Before Rapmon worried about the future of BTS. Before Beyond the Scene.

I just want my youth back.