okay so initially i wanted to talk about heavier deeper topics that kinda triggered me like life, death, emotions...

but...i realized life already has too much shiets so why would i burden my blog here with those things....err...(or maybe i lied? maybe i'm just making excuse/lame dramatic intro to a typical post...xD)

okay...so...what's the topic....hmmm...

oh...i don't have one...i thought i had one earlier...but now that i'm sitting here...i've forgot...

oh yeah i remembered one...

1. pride.

do you know when i feel proud in relation to kpop? or rather, feel special? when my opparunnir got no.1? when they top sales? or get 47589765896576976796579679 viewcount on youtube? nah...i'm already proud of them without even needing no lame rank/bulksale from crazy rich fans/fakeviewcounts from crazy fans obsessing abt ranks without even caring bout the content...i'm not that kind of fan yknow...numbers can never be the thing that makes me 'proud'...

but i guess...it's when i see articles saying so n so idol have how many million followers on this n that sns or so n so mv has so n so many million views...or so n so album topping sales chart ...and here i am....knowing i don't contribute even one of those many millions...

i'm so special i can't be grouped in the same group of the millions n millions...

so what if something is trending? i'm not made to be a trend follower...

i'm more special than just that. and i have my own tastes and pride, that aren't dictated or defined by popularity, trend n such. (though sometimes it does, but in the opposite way...which isn't all that great either...erk)

i know it's a stupid thought...but it is what it is. that is what i feel everytime i see those articles.

(lol..idek why i'm revealing this thing that could earn me tons of hate...when i'm already probly hated by a good amount...i hate my loud honesty over here too guyz....huhuh...)

2. kard

today's debut stage!

now this is where the popularity/trend works for me but in opposite way...i find kard's frighteningly high volume fame kinda scared me and kinda build a wall that stop me from following their updates too much...yknow with big fandom...come bigger number of freaking annoying fans...honestly, i'm happy for them, i really am. and as a fan of many dsp groups, i'm happy that dsp is bouncing greatly out of their slump with something big3 can't even think of first...so badass...even though their cultural content kinda lost me...as i said before...i still find myself wanting to watch all their debut stages at the least...and root for them...

but it's just scary...just look at the number of views on their perf vids from yesterday n today...only them and exo got that high views...and to think that they're just debuting...not even from big3 that would have automatically generated fans even before anything...just for the brand name....but kard....had it all on their own, well...their agency's genius planning paired with awesome producer tbh...but...it's so refreshing to see an idol getting overwhelming fame not bcuz of brand name but bcuz of the content they produced...that is just so satisfying...

but at the same time...i still find their popularity intimidating for me...n kinda turned me off a little...i mean, not towards them...but turned me off from wanting to be an active fan...i'll be a dormant casual fan or sth...

Back to the song...i guess now i like it more than yesterday...not as much as i like oh nana, but definitely more than i like rumor...well, i didn't even really like rumor so....yeah...this one's okay...but i don't think i'll be listening to it for a really long time. for now it's alright.

but even seeing the comments of how people are all so proud of them bcuz of how successful they're...

i'm like...no...no...i can't accept that kind of pride.

it kinda...irks me so much...

do you need opparunnirs to win something or be acknowledged by the world in order to be proud of them? 

tsktsktsk...no just...no.

maybe this is why i already feel uncomfortable to stan them seeing their popularity level...i knew this kinda fan would be flooding...and i'd be annoyed...

actually...maybe i'm so used to stan the unpopular ones...that it feels awkward to like someone so popular...

but i guess...since i'm not planning to stan kard that hard n just want to be that fan watching from the other side of the wall...i guess...it's alright....i just need to avoid any and all comments on them cuz i know i'd be finding more cringe...and statements that make me go.........no....you didn't.

anyway, to end...have two more vids from their debut...but this one filmed earlier and only broadcasted today/yesterday i guess...

3. vav

because this group has become my happy dose...i mean, their performances are my much needed happy dose...what am i going to do when they finish promotion? TT_TT....

and more...

cuz you can never have overdose of happy dose....xD

but is it just me or there's not enough Cobbie here...i mean..during his part they showed diff member n he doesn't even have that many parts...so....T^T...

have no fear....

Cobbie is here!!! xD

well...i suppose this was from their comeback perf...since diff outfit...but guyz...i think....i'm in love...

with...Cobbie?

Nooooo!!!!

With that fanboy cheering for them!! xD

idk...maybe i'm biased but fanboy cheering for boygroup is just so precious...especially it's not even a popular one...it becomes even more precious. all the while watching...i find myself anticipating that fanboy instead...rather than focusing on Cobbie...sorry Cobbie...you're still cool...haha...fanboy:1.1 cobbie:1.0

bonus:

lol. the reappearance of creepy fanboy with exaggerated cheering...though i think other groups had some too...though i'm not sure same or different person...but it seems Lou has fanboy...xD....is that really a fanboy or his friend or sth? lol. i mean...he calls by real name...it can only be hardcore fan or friend...although i'm sure many fans call by real name too and even their fanchants had real names instead of stagename....poor Baron seemed so eager to respond to everyone around him today...give him some love too will ya? T^T...Ziu trying to act cool will never fail to crack me up....xD...maybe he had cemented his funny image that i can't see him as not funny...i can't believe when i first saw him in flower mv...i thought his personality would be boring perfect nice or sth...lol.

to end this...: stellar

i really want to like the song and them as a group...well, i kinda like them...but...there's always just a wall stopping me...n it's not even popularity...i just get this disturbed feeling...and the new song only gave me more question marks...that kinda kept me away...i'm no fan of dark mysterious symbolic things in kpop tbh...since i tend to think too much... this one remind me of their previous song, Mask(which i actually like tbh)...similar concept i guess....but tbh...i just need simple joy like Sting...without making me crack my head at the thought of hidden meaning or sth......but yknow...watching this perf...it's not that uhm...disturbing i guess...they're all pretty....n idk when this new member(Soyoung) came in....but she has such a pretty smile...