currently...any and most of my free time online are fully dedicated for two things:

1. spazzing VAV in blogposts and doing whatever i could to support them n watch their videos to research further on them lol. i feel like even spazzing could do more than writing fics...although i do love writing fanfics...

2. uploading Pureboy videos. there's a lot of work here bcuz their b*stard shady comp has taken down all save for their subunit pure-l mv...i believe it's never too late to appreciate(as long as the people you want to appreciate are still alive, of course) ...so if anyone interested, feel free to check my channel for their vids. the process is still ongoing.

 

in the light of my 'busy'ness...all fanfic updates will take backseat for God knows how long(if not forever lol)...i still have the desire to update BUG and Guess Me, Baby...but i just feel i'd prioritize what i feel should be prioritized...of course the longer i'm taking to update...the more i'm teetering towards the danger of abandoning(not that i think it'd make any difference to anyone n the fics aren't even great or revolutionary or anything lol...just further uglifying my story lists with more incompleted ones lol)......seeing my produce 101 phase is coming to an end...yikes...

but i guess what will be will be...and what will not will not...lame excuse i know but it is what it is...

 

Frankly i've spent the whole night to upload pureboy vids last night...and the more vids of them i upload the sadder i feel...but it hurts so good i guess...that i couldn't stop it...:p

For some reason...i get the most satisfaction from stanning unknown groups or groups with little to no hopes of making it...or groups in the past that never got the opportunity to shine or never appreciated in their existance...rather than the fancy currently trending groups most would stan...

i guess...it's because i somehow saw them...and i want to send the message as widespread as possible that they're seen...they're noticed.

i feel stanning these unloved, unseen ones (especially in Pureboy case, VAV is not popular, but nowhere near being as tragic) is more painful...but worthwhile...bcuz i might, just might...make a tiny bit difference...to someone...maybe someone where the love will matter....it's not impossible...it had happened on more than one occassion...

i never know how it felt to stan any popular ones....(well, maybe Shinhwa, SS501, KARA kinda count as popular though nowhere near those popular top groups...in the current time at least...but i never did a lot for their sake anyway...since they're already in good hands), but frankly even with most groups i stan are the ones considered flops and nugus...i never felt like i missed out on anything...i never needed my favs to win no.1 or any awards to be able to be freaking proud of stannning them anyway...most time i feel kpop n the fans are too fixated on wins/status that we hardly even enjoy n appreciate it for what it is...and busy obsessing the status/rank/winning/records/etc. i guess liking all these unknowns uncared for...have really taught me a lot...lessons that could be applied in life as well...

while uploading pureboy stuffs...i'm reminded of my old days...good old days...my old youtube channels(that had been uhm...deleted thanks to copyright issues lol)...where i uploaded countless of super rare stuffs of totally unknown singers' vids that i managed to find from dungeons of korean search engines n blogs/cyworlds and shared...even the ones i didn't know/never heard of...as long as i liked what i heard, i upload it...

when i started my current channel....i've already lost touch with kpop for awhile...and during those detached-from-kpop times...i had lost the ability to hunt for videos from those dungeons...even when some requests came in asking me to reupload...i just lost those vids already so...i couldn't...even one req i was determined to fulfill...took one whole year for me to find the vid thanks to my depleting hunting skills...but i was very proud i eventually found it...still am...nobody else found it to be shared...i did. ;)

maybe it's pride...or whatnot...but stanning and doing all i could to try make a difference for the ones unseen, uncared for, unappreciated....feel so worthwhile, even if chances are close to nonexistant...maybe this is my immaturity speaking...maybe soon enough i'd regret it...but hey..this is my feeling in this moment...the atmosphere contributed too...

i won't call myself an underrated fighter or the likes cuz i'm not(though maybe i kinda used to be back when underrateds weren't a trendy thing lol...i've long been over that phase...xD...it was exhilarating but exhausting...)...it's just coincidence that the ones i like happen to have those characteristics...and i only go the extra mile for the ones i like...not the whole underrated ones...i couldn't survive doing that much...but i've seen many who could...props to you and more power to you! xD....

 

idk...i'm just bored n feeling nostalgic n sappy while uploading Pureboy vids in the middle of the night...probly for no one...but i'm willing to take the chance anyway...

 

i'm sorry if this post comes off as bragging...(wait... why am i sorry for that....uhm....lol)

but how can i upload/watch/listen to this...

and not feel sappy n emotional...? TT_TT

even though it's not exactly my fav song pureboy performed...

still make me emotional....T^T...

 

ahhh...i'm spamming blogposts with things nobody probly even cared...can't help it guys...like i said...eversince i closed my own blog...no thanks to stalker bot that kept giving annoying fake viewcounts...or sth...i had no other place to pour out my blabberings...

i think...i need to start a new blog of my own so that i won't keep making posts here for every little thing people probly find annoying/snoozefest....lol.

i'm just lazy right now guyz...n tired...so bear with me a lil more everyday...lol. aff just feels too homey that i keep making posts without filters here...xD

 

alright i'ma leave n continue be sappy until i fall asleep or sth...