The first time we met, it was snowing.

I was about to cross the road, when you suddenly held my arm from behind.

I was one step away from getting myself crashed by a car.

Just one step, countable centimeters, an unnoticeable distance, but that made all the difference.

My eyes were glued to the ground, as you stood beside me and scolded me for my recklessness.

‘You could’ve gotten yourself killed ‘You said, which sounded ironic to me back then. I should’ve left it there, I mean, I was at fault so there was no running away from it, but the ‘I’ from the past, thought otherwise.

‘What’s wrong with getting myself killed’ I replied.

Perhaps, it was a lame dark joke, or at least, I made it sound that way

Yet, somehow, you heard the silent cry behind my strained voice.

You slowly let go of my arm, something I wished you hadn’t done that day. As hard as it was to admit it, that little touch gave me the courage to confront my own feelings, so when that touch was lost, I felt vulnerable.

Suddenly, you stood beside me calmly, not saying a word, and I wondered if I shouldn’t have said that.

I grew even more insecure, and couldn’t look up at the light.

Was it green? Red? I didn’t know, I didn’t dare to know.

But I had to cross to the other side. That’s the only way I would know, right?

Right?

Just as I was about to take the first step, the same rough hand held my arm and pulled me back, saving me yet again, from another car collision.

I thought it was a déjà-vu, but the tight grip on my arm was so strong that I went completely numb.

‘I told you, didn’t I? You could get yourself killed’

It was faint, like a gentle summer breeze, but loud enough to enrage a storm inside me.

A turmoil of emotions begging to be unleashed.

A deafening whisper able to wash away the doubts I’ve held in for so long

So I cried, your face becoming blurry with each tear, but the feeling your words gave me cleansed my core. Bit by bit, I was regaining what I thought was lost.

Bit by bit, I started recognizing who I was.

You slowly approached me and held me in its arm

‘Let’s go home’ you muttered weakly, fatigue painfully audible in your voice.

The words I could never utter, there they are, laid in front of me in the most blissful form possible.

I broke the hug silently and gazed at your loving figure that I so dearly missed.

I held your hand tenderly and for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful.

“Yeah, let’s go home, mom”