ok, apparently i'm not done...

as harsh as my posts sound...i feel like i'm holding back a lot n bcuz i always let out my feelings...it feels suffocating to not confess them...truthfully...even though now is really not the right time...i just need to get them off my chest n more importantly, my mind...

i was watching the ep...and there are things i just wanna let out...some, opinions i've been keeping for a long time n keep nagging at me to be let out....

please be calm. it's not like anything i say can change anything. i just need to let them out...it's not like the rank or anything will change. no need to get all offended...even if you are... it up ok...you can't have everything...your favs already made it far, you can't expect everyone to love/accept it.

1. i don't like lee woojin. i've tried to deny it bcuz i want to believe i'm a civilized adult so i can't dislike kids, bcuz everyone says it's wrong to do that...even though even in reality i dislike kids haa.  that's not the point. when i first heard his voice in be mine...i was instantly drawn to his voice that sounded like a girl...but the weird difference between edits for team 1 and team 2 made me suspicious...and i ended up watching full perf for both teams...because the team with lee woojin won. and they didn't air much of his part despite him being main vocalist...while for the other team, yoo hwiseong was shown in all his adlib highnote glory...at first i thought it's cuz the rappers in team lee woojin were more popular so they want to show more rap parts...but then after watching full thing...i realized it's cuz woojin didn't even attempt any highnotes/show range despite being the main vocalist and you can easily see how inferior the winning team's perf is compared to the losing team...it was too obvious so mnet aired diff parts for both teams ugh...i was pissed off at the thought of how could they won when the other team did mindblowingly good compared to them...i already had some dislike to the kid by then...my interest all gone. then spring day. and how he kept wanting to be main vocalist despite again, showing problem at high notes part. high notes isn't all there is to a vocalist...but for main vocalist....it's a very crucial thing. sure, everyone has greed n selfishness.... but not everyone act on it when it could ruin the perf...and this kid did it twice...and ppl are condoning it bcuz he's a kid. idk bout you...but it's when i'm a kid, i'm taught rights n wrongs...teaching values after ppl grow up is just....and nobody preach hard about hating a kid, when yoo seonho got hated for getting #1 when he's just one year older than lee woojin. cmon...let's not be hypocrite....kids aren't innocent n all things pure or should be overprotected...i mean now i can go out and hear kids aged 7-9 swearing worse than i do...n those who manipulate adults with their antics...this kid took my kid's parts, didn't even do well...n when the other kid got no.1...he said sth like he acknowledge it cuz the other kid was good at setting the atmosphere...idk...sth about his words/ways...i just don't like. being cute can't win me. sorry. n he gets way too much screentime...even when dongsu was eliminated...yeah he's a kid..everyone adores him...it's not his fault...ppl are acting like he's ten years younger than the second youngest kid there....and i'm just sick of it. and lee woojin's fans i've seen around annoy me too mostly. keep telling people they should excuse him for everything just cuz he's young...ok, if that's the case n he shouldn't be judged the same as others, why is he in the show? he should be in kids show instead. you don't make sense. and speaking of yoo seonho...his baby chick reference is so unoriginal...since last season there's already that. lol.

2. i've been wanting to say this loud and clear as a point in itself for so long already but i guess i kept feeling scared of the fans...this show is just like nuest redebut show featuring the rest. i'm even suspecting there's a deal between mnet n pledis...this wasn't a fair play since the beginning...nuest, i compared to dia...but truth is...dia's advantage for being debuted idol is nothing compared to nuest advantage...i never even heard of dia prior to this show but nuest...is an idol that had debuted for years...n even relevant enough for people to know n still remember their existence unlike other idols in the show like jjcc, hotshot, offroad, even toppdogg and frankly a dozen more groups names i can't even remember n never heard of (i think the popularity/relevance of company/other idols in the company also helped their relevance to remain)...i feel sickly seeing all the sympathy for nuest bcuz they only had a little pride to lose, but they had the whole world to gain from this...what was there to sympathized about (and even now they're still getting a lotttt of screentime)...if there's any...it's towards the rest of the kids who had severe competition with long debuted idol with fandom. and ppl keep saying kim jonghyun deserve first place...but i don't even see why (bcuz he's a good leader? did you even watch other teams? they all had really good leaders too..some even sacrified for their team...didn't hear any overpraises for them)...his perf wasn't even that great to me. certainly wasn't outstanding. yeah kill me, i have an opinion. kang dongho was quite impressive, the rest, one or at most two might deserve top35...but not all...and they're not even just top 35... if there's any idol to sympathize...that should be the two jjcc members...they're even relegated to the 'last choice'/actually, 'not chosen at all by other trainees' status during first mission...i don't think any other idol who faced more embarrassment/hurt pride than them. i'd say brand new kids are this season's ver of jellyfish girls. how some members' high popularity helped carried the rest...tbh, i'm not really impressed how all of them made it. (and the two kids from that rap team...their rap perf wasn't even memorable/impactful...) nuest, brand new kids, really got easy ride. well, cube too. but in cube's case...it doesn't look like they're getting free rides of each other's popularity...both are just popular...even though they're definitely not a top35 material for me...

3. as much as kim yehyun might be likable...how did it make sense for him with littlest lines to survive while kim seongri n joo jinwoo the two who hardcarried vocals of the team didn't make it. no coment bout kim yongguk, he's popular. and as much as i love seo seonghyuk for being such a nice guy n having nice voice...i can't help feeling suspicious at his high jumps in ranking everytime. sth is just off/weird. he wasn't even highlighted during the perf ep, or got parts that could show off anything much, i'm all for him rising up...but his rank jumps a lot everytime n that's not an easy thing to keep happening especially for kids that aren't that hyped. they're portrayed as both hardworking n kind...but i don't think those are enough to get them this big amount of votes especially when others with lots of votes are all bout their hypes n favoritism in screentime.

4. jang moonbok looked so pretty in the elimination. his hair...am i the only one who wish to hear him sing too n not just rap? fat chance i guess...T^T..

5. idk...i disliked kwon hyunbin but he seems to be a lil more likable now...he has this...humbled feel to him that i don't detect with my fakedar...unless he's a good actor n i'm tricked......still not deserving spot in top35 tho. and there are tons of kids whose names i didn't mention...not cuz i'm satisfied with their rank but there's really nothing else to say bout them...just overrated overall..and there's too many)

6. even though i don't exactly like woo jinyoung's rap...but seeing other subpar ones up there...maybe he deserve better too...i thought the crowd love him? ok tbh...i don't really care...i'm just....surprised...?

7. isn't it sad that for pop's team...the weakest dancer was the only one who survived?

8. I have this feeling...park sungwoo(that oldest/tiptoe guy) ...even though he's eliminated, he'd somehow make it...maybe not as an idol...but yeah my gut feeling is telling me he's gonna attract some attention...either as actor/or whatever celebrity...let's see yeah...(tbh, i'm still shook that my fav everyone overlook n even got into last team/rejected trainees) actually became the first to sign an advertisement deal. badass. yeah you can argue...it's cuz the rest are still in the show...but he was eliminated alongside 37 trainees or so...

9. i didn't even see joo jinwoo...was he even there?....genuine curiosity...bcuz i might not notice him with another hair change...but yeah..he didn't even get any focus this ep......while the same ol ones who'd still be there keep getting endless exposure/screentime...yawns.

10.. ok, some rant and positive thing about my kid yongjin. i'm so happy when he was assigned in the team 'i know you know' because no annoyingly overpopular kids. many of the nice/likable and not so popular kids were in this team..., the atmosphere looked good n cozy so i was happy he had some breathing space without all the weird tension n judging eyes like in spring day team,  and frankly i think this time, he didn't even try to attempt for any main parts and was just cheering for the others n having fun bcuz he knew he won't make it to actually perform the song anyway. sad, but his realistic approach to his situation while keeping himself positive n bright seriously broke my heart. it'd be more work for them later if he stepped up for main parts when he knew he's leaving soon anyway...that's just so thoughtful T^T....i randomly remembered in last season, hwang ayoung was supposed to be one of the main vocalists for 'in the same place' but since she's eliminated, they had to reassign.....i liked her too...but it;s obvious she didn't have much chance to remain since happyface girls were mnet's biggest victim(literally...a total of 8 girls...n they didn't even air their opening perf at all..not even a tiny cut...)

but again, mnet did my kid dirty...as if it's not bad enough he hardly got a close up in the whole ep(i think he got one...yay?) or even shown in the scenes...seriously it's hard even to see his hair or anything...during takada kenta's speech at the elimination...n he's addressing his team mates i think...they only showed lee woojin(multiple times.../rollseyes/) ...yoo seonho, and bae jinyoung...wow...as if it wasn't bad enough that from having the most part, to getting reassigned with least part...they couldn't even show a glimpse of yongjin during that part? so what was he in the team....air? flying mosquito? there were so many frustrations n disappointment with spring day team. not only they have all the popular kids aside of yongjin, they're also one of the worst team vocally...even the ending was a disgrace for yongjin....he's the only one who's getting eliminated from the team...and you can't even give him a last closeup? really mnet? wow...when i think back of when yongjin gave his speech to mansae team and all his team mates were all shown with their proud smiles...it makes me really sad. the good times were so far behind...i was hoping i could see his heartbreakingly earnest n beautiful smile one last time T^T(ok i sound like a creep. whatever, i'm not)

11. did you watch jeong dongsu's speech at the end of elimination scene? broke my heart to million pieces....T^T...he sounded like he's trying to be positive...n the calm positive things he said...it was hopeful...but somewhat resigned too. tbh i didn't think he was prepared for it either...but from the few eps i've seen him...he really stood out because he never let his greed/selfish importance to affect the team...he's always the first willing to step back if he feel he couldn't give his best(don't just hug him n cry for that screentime woojin kid, learn from him...this is how a person worth idolize is), n let the others take their picks first. sometimes i feel he's just really unconfident in himself even though you'd never see it in his stages...maybe he's always giving in cuz he considers himself old/lacking/ugly? (didn't watch that part to decide whether it would pass my fakedar...but many ppl were mentioning it in his videos that he call himself ugly...so i guess he said it in some earlier ep? probly bcuz he doesn't have flower feminine boy looks n those tiny face korean love as you can see in those popular kids? n he's not tall either...) he's not ugly at all...in fact, his expressions shown when watching the other kids' perfs are some of the most beautiful imo...T^T...n i even love his expressions when he's not very happy/satisfied with something...he'd have this pout to himself(not to the camera) n weird but not nasty face...n he always approach any situations positively...even in shock perf, when he's telling the camera that he's in trouble cuz he had no confidence in his rap n dance...he quickly reminded that he'd work hard for it with a smile...tbh...that, is a thousand times more attractive n swoonworthy than the floweriest of flower faces but y/boring personality...don't you think? i'm just a lil sad he never tried to step forward n fought for main vocalist position when he's more than qualified for it.

then, he even compared produce 101 as 'much needed rain' that allowed him to dream again  when he fail n lost hope n confidence...why are even his words beautiful? T^T...seriously...what is not beautiful about him?...i don't think i can find an answer to that....

12. looking at the rankings...i just want to say this to the nation producers: you're the worst producers ever. congrats, here,  take your award. /shows virtual fist/

oh well...i talked too much. i'm in trouble now. T^T///byee