Sometimes it's kind of funny, how deep I seem to be in for bts nowadays (reading all those theories, rewatching <1min teaser repeatedly to understand whats going on, about 80% of my lockscreen collection is them and they dominate 90% of my insta and twitter feed). But like one call from cassiopeia or eunhae or suju I come running lmao. 

me politely rejecting people for donation/fund raising for bts: no sorry i have no better use of it but im lazy to do the transfer so get out of my face

also me, when its for ot5 or eunhae or sj anniversary: here's the 1000 points of kp i've accumulated since 2012 take it all, checks back once in 2 weeks to ask if we got it, creates an extra account to upvote and promotes it shamelessly.

(My kp history is literally: -1000 in 2015 for a cassiopeia is still alive project and -400 just now for the eunhae festival not even kidding)

Hard to explain why but seriously, it's my fandom of so many years, the emotions is at a different level. I was a lot more simple as a fan back then, I fell for the groups wholeheartedly, almost at first sight and with minimal reason, they pretty much decided my happiness on a day to day basis and I'd keep sharing posts and videos on facebook with a longass caption pointing out what was the most hilarious things and what broke my heart etc... lol the typical young 13/4/5 fangirl. Nowadays I've chilled a lot, in fact I'm largely out of touch with their current doings (like I know jaejoong is having his tour, sj has met up recently, teukdong went on knowing bros, kyuhyun is touring, junsu just enlisted and that lame scandal is out again etc, but I'm not aware of details, don't scroll through pictures, don't have the group to spazz with). But god damn if I see a word against them online I'd either report that or write long essays back. Age took away my passion and enthu and hotheadedness but it only condenses the emotions and memories become even more meaningful. That I was this silly once upon a time. 

Sure, I love BTS, but the love is still damn shallow compared to that for DBSK and SJ. They are almost like family as far as I'm concerned, the kind that I can spend hours nagging at them in my mind without repetition of content - from health to pretense to masks to resting and stress, I can never run out of things to nag and fuss over them about. I've picked up korean over the years, and that was nice because I can largely understand the latest things that bighit bombs us with, but I've rarely felt the urge to write something back to them (not because I know it wont be read anyway). Rather I'm the kind to leave long replies below the insta post of jaejoong, teuk, chul and all that, even if typing korean about triples the time needed. It's just sort of different, idk. They are just different. They approached me at a different time, when I was in a different state. Future groups will come close, but will never quite reach me like they did.

Old is gold and I'll love yall forever. DBSK & SJ, and our lovely pepsi fandom. It's always nice to hear about what's up, and I anticipate the 86liners being discharged later this year <3 Time may have flown past and we were no longer as young as we first met, but in my heart you'll always be those young sweaty 20s running about on stage, and whenever I see you I'll always become that 14 year old again. I love you, forever and always.