Hello to all of you reading my blog post. First of all, thank you for your interest although the title is nothing but original. This post will be dedicated to the end of the year and the start of a new, fresh beginning. We have turned the page from '16 to '17, and although it's a time of celebration and a time to spread good vibes, a time to spend with your family and a time to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, it's not always the case. 

My first resolution of the year is to listen more to what my soul wants. 

2016 has been pretty rough on me. From the beginning of the year, I've encountered many obstacles and made rash decisions and choices that affected me in a bad way. Everything had been happening so fast, and I've been misled into feelings that I thought existed before when in truth, I hadn't listened to my heart or to my brain for that matter. This resulted in horrible consequences, in me loving someone that didn't deserve my love, someone that threw it back in my face with everything they got before I could prepare myself. And then, I also realized feelings that I'd buried deep down in my subconscious, feelings that I'd been denying myself all this time. It's something to love someone and fall out of love with them, but it's something else to realize that all along, you've been in love with someone else. 

My second resolution is to let go of things that I can't control. 

Moving into a new country was a great, faithful leap out in the open, a jump that had me hanging over nothingness for a long period of time. University was a big change. Every day was filled with uncertainty, fear of the unknown, and the underlying hope that everything would turn out all right and that right now you just wished to travel to a better place far in the future, just so that you'd get a peace of mind that everything would fall in place. But I've learnt that expecting so much from life in general is unrealistic, it's too idealistic. You can't expect anything from life itself, because you are the life. You are what you control, you are what happens to you. Everything and everyone is different, and so obviously everyone will grow in many different ways. Some people change, and some don't, but I have to accept it, whether that means losing a friendship or gaining one. I was so lost and so perturbed by this new life that I was drowned in schedules and classes and assignments. There was no time to breathe, and I somehow found myself drifting apart from people even if I tried to grasp onto them. And that's okay, it's okay to let go of people sometimes, it's okay to look after yourself first. Your wellbeing is what will keep you going because at the end of the day, you only have yourself. I was partly to blame for I expected so much from people, but for this new year, I want to forget how it feels to be shunned, I want to forget how it feels to be forgotten. I want to embrace life how it is with open arms and not look back at the people that have hurt me. I have to grow as an individual, I have to get stronger and build an armor for myself. There is so much more I can learn, and this past year I've learnt that friends come and go, just like the wind. 

My third resolution is to remember.

Remember my mistakes, remember how it felt like on the 31st of December, when I was all alone crying in my room at night because I was far away from home, because I missed familiarity and family. I'll remember the pain, how wretched I felt, how unloved. Throughout all this time of celebration, I had felt nothing but sadness echoing through my veins. The family I had back home weren't here and instead I had to celebrate the last days of the year with people I didn't even know. The strangers at the table with whom I had to eat with were more than a little cold and foreign, and that made me feel even more homesick, as though I was an outsider that couldn't be accepted in that little society of  theirs. But that's okay, they don't understand me and they don't want to. That's enough signs to know that they're not worth it. They've lived here all their lives, this is nothing to them. 

So I'll remember, I'll remember how that alienation feels. I'll remember on this day, this date, how I've felt all night. So that when I look back on this time in January 1st 2018, I'll be able to tell myself that I've conquered it all, that everything is much better than what I imagined. One year from now, all of this won't matter. 

I apologize to all of you for being a wretched author that was submerged in her own personal life to actually take care of my stories. And I thank you all for being by my side, for the endless support and the comments, it makes my day, really. I couldn't be more grateful for all of you and this is my sanctuary, a place where I can actually be myself. I hope you guys know how special you all are to me, and if I've disappointed you, I'm sorry. I'm sorry and I'l do better so that I'll be someone you all can be proud of. 

Let's all grow together in this new year. Let go of all the restraints and fears of not knowing what you're going to do with your life, or where you're going for that matter. Let's live now, in this moment, and embrace the new year with a hope that life has more to give us, with positivity and good vibes. 

Happy New Year 2017!