Dear friends,  

For those who don't know me, hi! I'm nutmeggu and just until recently was on a permanent hiatus from AFF and all other writing platforms. I can't believe I've been gone for that long but time sure does fly by doesn't it? 

For those who do know me and have been reading and supporting my stories even in my absence: Thank you so much for believing in me, for believing in my writing and most importantly, not giving up on this stupid excuse of an author /cough/ aka me /cough/. 

I just felt like I needed to say that I was back, because I feel like I owe you guys this much for having gone MIA for so long. University life and the reality struggles are real and it's no surprise that all these responsibilities have kept me from writing and updating my stories. 

I've always thought of deleting my account. First off because it had never been something I liked to share with my friends an family. Writing fanfiction was something I wasn't really proud of back then, especially since kpop was such a tiny niche in the music industry. Comments like 'omg why do you follow gay guys?' and 'these groups look so cute they make me sick' and 'why do you even bother listening when you can't understand?'. These are the kind of comments I had to deal with whenever I showed interest in any of these things, and so I came to the conclusion that yes, they weren't cool, they weren't popular enough, and that's why nobody liked them. Because they ''. 

But I did. I kept writing because it was the only way I could let my fangirl emotions speak for themselves, it was the only way I could freely express what I felt without being judged. The best part was that people actually started liking what I wrote and supported me, and vice versa. There are so many talented people on this website, so many stories I've read that have made me cry, laugh and have my heart flutter more times than most movies/books could. 

So long story short, I kept writing. And guess what? It made me so happy to do so. It felt so natural, fingers fflying across the keyboard and the sounds bouncing off my laptop as if it was therapy. It was my kind of therapy, anyway. 

At some point, I had to disconnect because of school, university application, and just life in general that threw curveballs at me. Some I caught with confidence, others I had to dodge and run away from. But coming back to AFF now and seeing my stories with fresh eyes, I'm ready to write again. 

And so I wrote this post, not only as a promise to you but as a promise to myself, that I'll try to update more often, hopefully every week, and just keep creating. 

One final thing: So I applied for a crowdfund application and it got accepted, which I totally did not expect! But yeah it's obviously optional and totally up to you. I think the benefits include getting an offline pdf and exclusive chapter content before anyone else and that was about it. Whether or not you subscribe, it doesn't matter. As long as people enjoy what I write and that I can share my stories, then I'm just happy with that. 

If you've read till the end, I congratulate you for having survived my rant. Thank you all and I love you! Stay safe everyone xx 

- nutmeggu 

P.S: Any questions about university or majors or just life in general, don't be shy! Shoot me a msg ;)