holy don't develop crushes guys

Oh my god guys I am so stupid, like, I cannot believe how stupid I'm being right now. I complained about this problem to quite a few people already, but I just, I just have to give the full story. So, in 9th grade, I developed a crush on this guy who we will call X. God, I had such a bad puppy-love type crush on X. And it was in 12th grade that I actually started to hang out with him more. So, anyway, before high-school ended for me, I confessed to X and weeelllll...it didn't go so great. It didn't help that I left for like almost four months after confessing but maybe that's good because I don't know. He liked me but not enough to start something and, whatever, moving past that. So, I see him in college a lot now and even hang out with him, but there's always other people so usually I'm okay. But today, jesus, today was particularly excrutiating because I /still/ ing like him. Goddamn it guys I still ing like him and I want to hate that son of a gun BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE HE'S SO NICE! It pisses me off. If he was mean to me, didn't talk to me, I'd be okay because then I'd just blow him off but no this crush is just persisting. THIS STUPID FEELING HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR  ALMOST SIX YEARS GUYS LIKE YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW PISSED I AM ABOUT THIS. And now he's dating someone, and I'm not sad by that because I know he doesn't have feelings for me, but like, he asked if I still liked him and I lied and said no! And I feel so mad because I don't want to keep this inside because I feel like if i told him it would be easier to get over him because he can just flat out tell me to my face that he doesn't like me that way nor will he ever. I can do that, but noooo I just had to lie. Jfc brain get it together. Idk, there's just so much history between us and like, I just can't be comfortable around him anymore. I just need to move on but it's impossible when I see him so often and it pisses me off. I know that if I don't see him anymore it'll go away, but he won't stop going to the same college as me until next fall. I really just, like, want to scream. I just have too much history in this town that I can't get over until I fully remove myself from here. And like, I have a few ideas on how to leave, but in order for me to get them it would require a miracle. God, I wish X wasn't so hard to hate but dammit if he isn't too nice. I just want to get away from everyone, it just hurts when I think about all the memories I have. Is that so much to ask for?

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KawaiiPandaDesu #1
Hmmmmm dayum girl this sounds hard :/ But first, are you sure it's just a crush? Or is it near love? Because I'm pretty sure crushes don't last for 6 years nor does it hurt you so much right now. Having a crush, liking and loving are different. Or maybe you're hurt because of embarrassment idk? But anyway, it depends on the person on how long he/she will allow themselves to feel hurt. Like, ofc it'll hurt if you still like him, but it's entirely up to you how you deal with it. If you really have no other options, you can wait it out till next fall when he leaves, and then start from there.
But until then, try to suffocate those negative feelings of yours. Hang out with other friends, exercise, read more fanfics, do whatever things you do that makes you happy. Life's too short to be mulling over boys. Just think of it as a miracle in disguise, maybe he isn't meant for you, and him rejecting you is a sign that someone else out there is better for you.
Personally, I've never had a crush like yours but I've asked out a couple of people out and been rejected. It , but I got better after a couple of days after bathing myself in depressing fanfics and sad music. In a way, reading those fics made me realize that my life can't be any worse than in the story (the main character dies of cancer lol makes me feel A LOT better. Kinda) and yea I got better after a while and still remained good friends with them.
MissJ2013 #2
Find anything to keep you busy :)
cgao753 #3
maybe try distancing yourself a little? i dunno if that's even possible, but try to find other people to yanno talk with? also the whole asking you if u like him back is kinda sketchy because in the positive aspect, he might like you, but in the negative aspect he could've been pressured by friends to >_< honestly i think i'm a terrible person to ask love advice from

i know like "moving on" is hard but you should definitely try to branch out away from the people who you've already known... i really enjoy the fact that i'm meeting so many amazing people in college and it's probably due to the fact that i honestly know no one here from my school. so i guess if you're feeling too cramped, try to seek out various different types of peoples and try to create friendships with those who you don't know or are vastly different from you >_< maybe it'll help?
yogurt96 #4
This is exactly why I decided to go to a school that's far from my town, but not too far. For a new start for the real you, ya know?
Tbh your problem has so many ties that it's difficult to think things through. Like what if him and his friends had inside jokes about you that you wouldn't have known? What if they were hurtful? What if he asked you if you still liked him just because he made a bet with his friends. It's crazy how word spreads so much. Why are feelings so bad. Why can't we all have the option to lock away our hearts, because girl, i certainly would love to lock away my heart. It's not being selfish, it's protecting you from the outside world of opinions that could break you. You have to be strong, to live in this world. Sure, it looks nice to be in a relationship, but what if your boy toy leaves you for a hoe? Independence and will-power will get you through, You are born into this world with nothing, and you will leave the world with nothing.
ashkhen #5
Actually it isn't hard at all. You can start hanging out with other people and don't really have to face him since he has a girlfriend. If you guys accidentally bump into each other, just say "Hi and how are you". It's normal to like someone still because you never know when it will be gone. Stuff like that happens but don't interfere with the relationship. Just act busy and not be around him. Do something that makes you happy. Don't worry about anything and sooner or later the liking will disappear or he will miss you and probably like you.....No one knows what will happen. Just keep your head up and don't be bothered by it.
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