This year has been quite a year, but as it's nearing the end I'm starting to realize I've been happy with quite a few things for a long time in my life. And I don't know when it started, but I've come to despise me realy name, hearing people say it, writing it, it's come to the point where it just doesn't feel like me anymore. The "me" associated with my legal name isn't the real me and doesn't resonate with me. Everytime I hear someone say my name it reminds me of a past me, a past me that was worse off and going through difficulty, lost and confused. And, I don't just want to start calling myself by a different name, I want to go through the whole 9 yards and legally change it. The thing is though, there's already so many people who call me by my real name and like I could have started to ask them to call me something else but in the past I put others before me, their comfort and to me requesting them to call me something else besides my real name seemed like a hassel so I never did. But I kind of just want to be selfish, and I'm not sure how my parents would take it since they did choose the name for me--if they'd be insulted or not--but I'm tired of not feeling like myself ://