//WARNING// I tried to mind my language, if i unsuccessfully havent done so i apologise. 

Honest to God if there was a time to get sick it just had to be now. Like why not when I was in middle school or something? and now on my last year of high school with only 2 months to go and mock exams starting in 2 weeks I have 3 essays due on monday (1 is a written in class essay and 2 are assignments, including a 5 page submission for my Media exam, which speaking of which, i still need to finish up the film for), a math test and a whole lot of revision to do while I'm trying hard not to die from viral pharyngitis? Like jisoos, I havent felt so sick since it was the time when swine flu was around and I caught something (it wasn't swine flu but it was just as bad) and couldn't talk, much more function and on top of that I'm stressed like anything. My friend on thursday took me to see the school counsellor whom we thought would just let me sleep on the sofa or something since I've been sleeping at 4am and cannot function, but nahhhh she decided to have one of those heart to hearts and I'm like sister please, i'm not going to pour out all the sappy ish thats happening in my life, only for u to bring it home at the dinner table in which your son (whose in my year) will know and pratically broadcast it. (she told me she's not liable to do that kinda thing, but since I'm kinda acquainted to her son, I practically know most of the people in our year group's life problems, so i ain't holding her word for it.) But yeah, back to my parents, I came home sick on thursday after my talk with "Call-Me-Sue" (the counsellor) who lectured me about my insomia, and asking why i've dropped from a good Atar score (basically your average SAT score) by 30% and i'm mean it's clear I kinda have issues that I couldn't really deal with and ofc that kinda impacted my studies, but come on! Did she really have to ask that stupid question when she already knew the answer? Nope. Anywhale, she asked me if i wanted my parents to pick me up and i was like, "Tbh no." and she goes, "Why?" and i'm like, "Hello. I know you are kinda new and all but... THEY ARE FREAKING CHINESE AND DO YOU KNOW HOW UNREASONABLE CHINESE PARENTS CAN BE LIKE?!" Ofc i didn't scream at her though, i just gave her the pathetic shrug and told her not to, but nah... "Call-me-Sue" gave me the whole "I think this is for the best interest of you if I do cos you can't seem to concentrate at school and your are sleep deprived" and then sends me out to talk to this younger psychologist who knew full well "call-me-Sue" was being a bit much and also knew i wasnt hella depressed or anything, I was just stressed and on a verge of a mental and physical breakdown cos im tired as fudge and my chat with Susan here made things worse. But before she could speak to her about my feelings about it, SUSAN here already called my parents, and Dad was already on the way to pick me up, and can I just say, that look on his face... like srsly I was practically going, "Hey God, It would be great if i just died rn cos u know dying here thant dying at home, it's practically the same trip time to get to heaven so if i could just die now and meet u at the bbt buffet u have up there that wud be VERY NICE! THANKS!" 

but nope...

Got into the car and oh my lord...

Worse car trip ever. Started lecturing me cos "Call-me-Sue" told him that apparently my mother and him were stressing me out and it was THEIR fault i was like this and he went on about how they were on their "wits end" and Im like yeah thanks sue, thanks a lot. And i pointed out that sue made things sound a lot worse than it seemed. But since I was sick and stressed out I started crying a little and I hardly cry, but when I did he kinda shuts up and tells me to go and sleep and that was another awful experience cos i had a high fever, was shivering and had really bad dreams and then my mum comes in and tells me to wake up cos i have tuition and im like mum i'm freaking 39 degrees and u want me to wake up?! And she gets all attitude w me telling me to it up and told me to stop faking it and i was like "HOW IN WUSHUS NAME CAN I FAKE A FREAKING FEVER?!" *insert cantonese words that were not pleasant* (not even canto but i do know how to make my point) and she checks my temp, glares at me, calls the teacher up and then starts nagging that i have exams up and im im like staring at her like shes crazy and went back to sleep. 

Next day, I still felt like a piece of poop, still had my fever mind you, but being the great parents they are they insisted that I go to school and I'm like, "You know what? If I die, I die." and asked my dad to write me a note asking if i could do my politics essay on monday and he was like, "I didnt know you had a test." and i'm like, "Well i do so write me a note since you are being an and making me go to school." (not direct words but close enough)

he writes me a note and goes to the car. my dear mother comes out and is like, "Why aren't you in ur uniform?!", little bro explains it's "free dress day" (a stupid concept in how our school gets money cos u have to give in a gold coin donation, to wear whatevs u want so techincally speaking, its not exactly "free") and I was dressing warm cos our school uniform is like a device that makes us sick during winter cos its so thin and we basically freeze. Back to the story, she goes, "Okay then and asked me why I haven't packed my stuff yet when I was doing it and i told her I was doing it, kinda in a really annoyed tone and she was like, "I just want what's best for u calm down." in a really irritating tone and that's when I lost it completely and yelled at her, "OH YOU WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR ME? WELL CONGRATULATIONS U HAVE WON BEST MOTHER OF THE YEAR AWARD CONSIDERING THE FACT U LET YOUR CHILD FREEZE IN HER ROOM AND NOT LEAVING OUT MEDICATION FOR HER, IN WHICH, SHE HAD TO GO AND HUNT FOR IT HERSELF, BRING DOWN HER OWN TEMPERATURE, AND TRYING TO FORCE HER TO DO TUITION WHEN YOU KNOW SHE'S NOT WELL. LIKE ARE YOU EVEN HEARING YOURSELF? ALL OF YOU WERE INSENSITIVE AS ANYTHING YESTERDAY AND YOU ARE STILL MAKING ME GO TO SCHOOL WHEN IM STILL SICK! YOU THINK I WANNA BE SICK?! I DON'T. YOU THINK I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL? I STILL DONT BUT I RATHER GO THERE AND SUFFER THAN STAY HOME WITH YOU. SERIOUSLY HATE YOU ALL ATM, DON'T WANT TO TALK TO U. BYE!" 

*Storms to the car* dad asks me what happened, I ignored him and told him to drive, still refused to talk to them.School was hell, some teachers were ok, others werent.... *coughs english teacher coughs*

Day 3 of Hell: This morning my mother came in and told me to wake up at 9am and its saturday im even worse atm and she's still going, "If u fail we aint supporting u!" guys i'm 10000% done with her, and I dont want to deal with them anymore. I considered calling my aunty and grandma in singapore and asking them if i can just fly back for the weekend to calm down and get away from them cos I really dk how much i can take it anymore. this isnt how my life should be like and just auhhfdkgjfgjofief it's not suppose to be like this but i just cant deal with it anymore and I'm going insane but at the same time i don't want to start a family feud or anything. But then again it's not like they are trying to make things better for me or themselves they are just causing more stress on me and themselves, so yeah jokes on us, except i have more to lose if things still continue. 2016 i reckon i hate u more than 2015