— There’s a sad, lone star in the dark sky once again —

  

(personality ) 

infp the mediator
idealistic, open-minded, assiduous, placid, demure, autonomous
pushover, self-deprecating, pessimistic, captious, inarticulate, emotional.

ko dalnim is plain. she is boring. she is mundane. she is ordinary. she is someone you wouldn't even throw a second glance if you walked past her on the street if she wasn't an idol. placed aside in group pictures and dance formations and always hanging around in the background to fill in the 'useless member' void amost every group seems to have, she's never enough. she can dance, but the main dancer is better, she can sing, but the main vocalist is better, she can rap, but the main rapper is better, she's pretty, but is outshined by the other members' visuals, she's the maknae, but acts so mature all the male fans find her unattractive. breaking maknae stereotypes by being feminne and mature and being horrible at aegyo, dalnim is like air: you don't really notice her existence until she's gone.

dalnim is the breeze whistling through and caressing your hair. she's one of the most mature people yongsoo has ever seen and sometimes he feels like dalnim is his mother as he tends to and goes around his apartment tidying up messes and telling him to eat. dalnim has always put other people before herself and it's evident from the way she lets people walk all over her without fighting back and how she agrees to what everyone else says even though jaemin can see the small, annoyed twitch of her eye. at times, she seems completely devoid of emotion as she just sits there with a permanent and serene smile on her face, noticng and taking note of everything happening in her surroundings and not letting herself be too affected by those around her. a spike in her emotions is rarely seen and you won't really see her extremely sad or excited - she's usually just content with everything in her life and has no complaints. it's a reason why many tend to find her when they have problems and want a shoulder to cry on- she's so... fine with everything she would never judge anyone and her introverted demeanour makes people think they can tell her their deepest, darkest secrets. she accepts everyone as they are and has no qualms with homouality or anything that the general korean public is so against. she doesn't really need other people to live and is perfectly capable of living on her own, so she doesn't really vy for others' confirmation nor a sense of belonging and is happy, no, content with her place in the world.

at least, that's how dalnim usually presents herself.

in reality, dalnim is the consistent wind that you enjoy at first but when you finish your journey you realise you have a headache. once you spend more time with her you'll find that dalnim isn't all clouds and glitter. the standards that she's set on herself are so high the staff at victory are gobsmacked. the trainers could identify her skills as perfect and she'd still push herself to go past her comfort, no, every zone she has until she reaches the expectations she has for herself. with a gray outlook on life, dalnim always thinks that she isn't enough and often thinks that the worst would happen to her. that's why everything she predicts seem to be tinged with melancholy and sometimes that gets on everyone else's nerves because hey, dalnim, don't jinx it. what's even worse, she tends to hold in all her anger over herself not being good enough and would sit up in bed at 3am in the dorm contemplating why she's so painfully useless and how unimportant she feels and before she knows it the tears are running down her face. she wipes them hastily and lies down quickly, pulling the covers over her head before her loud sniffling wakes up everyone else. it's hard really, being unable to properly express your emotions when she actually feels a huge rush of them most of the time.

 

( background ) ko dalnim was born to ko jiyong and heo yangim as their second child on june fifth in twenty twenty. yes, ko jiyong of first generation idol group sechs kies. she was six years younger than her sister and her parents were almost fourty when she was born. but she wasn't an accident- she was a planned second child that happened years later than her parents wanted.dalnim never knew that both her parents had appeared on television nor who her dad actually was until teachers started bashfully asking her to get her dad's autographs for them. her mother sighed and showed videos of her father performing. 

dalnim was in love with the whole aspect of it. dancing and singing and having fun on stage with friends as people cheered her on - she wanted it. she started lessons for both dancing and singing and oh boy, did she love dancing. dalnim never knew how to express her emotions and dancing did the job. she had four lessons a week and instead of feeling burdened, she enjoyed it. she brought up the topic of becoming a trainee when she was merely twelve.

naturally, her parents were against it, especially since jiyong was practically banned from broadcast by dsp after sechs kies' disbandment. he knew how hard and how dark the industry was and he didn't want to subject his daughter to that. but then he didn't want to strip dalnim of her dream. he was at a loss and didn't know what to do. 

haenim came and saved the day. she convinced their parents to let dalnim at least try, because one would never succeed if they didn't at least try. if dalnim failed to accomplish anything before she entered her twenties, there was no choice for her: she'd enter the company her father was working at while studying at night schools. dalnim agreed.

with jiyong's connections, he asked around and found the best and most successful companies there were at that moment. when presented with the choices of source music, rainbow bridge world, pledis, victory and wm, dalnim's heart was set on victory because of the headlines they had made for being humane and a nice company in general that wouldn't make their trainees eat only 700 calories a day. wm was second on her list, but dalnim went and auditioned for all the choices anyway. 

due to having professional training beforehand, she passed at most of the companies...except victory. she tried again during the twenty thirty-three first quarterly auditions and decided to express her worries over her new school in a modern dance.

she was accepted. 

 

✾ tends to stick her right thumb into to nibble on it when she's anxious; she rubs her ear lobe when she's agitated, and bites the left side of her cheek when she's frightened. 
✾ to say that yoona likes skinship would be an understatement. often backhugging, pecking, and ruffling their hair, dalnim has ships with pretty much everyone in the group. she also pets the butts of the members a lot. they yelped first, but are now rather used to it. she finds yellow's the best, because she dances a lot and her muscles are firm.
✾ on stage, she's always stuck in dresses and pumps. she's never worn pants on stage. 
✾ she reads up comments about the group and herself daily. she squeezes time out between schedules and scrolls through pann and naver on the car, smiling at positive comments and fighting the urge to cry at negative ones.
✾ while some choose to dance or go out to have fun to release their stress, yoona likes staying at the dorm and bounce a stress ball while watching dramas during their free days.
✾ she really wants to try acting as well, and her acting instructor has said she's actualy pretty good at it- at least, she wouldn't be panned and would be able to break stereotypes of idol actors. it's also a way for dalnim to express herself. she knows that famous actor im siwan was also an idol before his group disbanded and he officially transitioned to acting, and sees him as a role model.
✾ dalnim really doesn't want to go blonde. she almost cried when she had to dye it light brown for debut and really doesn't want to make her hair so malnourished at such a young age. yongsoo respects her wishes and has ordered the stylists to keep her hair dark or they'll lose their jobs. doesn't change the fact that fans want to see dalnim with another hair colour.
✾ since birth, dalnim's ankles have always been pronated, meaning that they bend inwards. due to years of not treating it, it's gotten worse and so she can't wear high heels with thin heels. as in, she can wear platform heels but won't be able to balance on stilettos. although it doesn't affect her walking and it doesn't hurt, she still wants surgery.
✾ dalnim is always biting herself when she eats so she has little swollen wounds around the opening of and so she eats slowly because she doesn't want to hurt herself.
✾ her goal was ehwa's women university and she would have majored in sociology and minored in performing arts, but of course her company would have it the other way around.
✾ dalnim has always taken her first thoughts on other people very seriously. it usually moulds her thoughts and attitude towards them and it's quite hard to change what she thinks of you if you made a bad first impression on her. she didn't like blue when they first met because the latter was so loud dalnim's ears hurt after a conversation. 
✾ the stress has taken its toll on dalnim and after about a mere half year into debut the girl has been having panic attacks. the small ones come in the form of being unable to breathe before a stage and the big ones having her scratching her arms so hard they draw blood. not many people know this- not even all of iris.

— Goodbye, we said our awkward goodbyes —

✾ father + ko jiyong + 55 + businessman + reliable, dutiful, inarticulate.

dalnim has always been closer to her father than to her mother. even though jiyong has always been the kind of father who never voiced his affections, he knows what his daughter is going and so dalnim finds herself often asking her father for advice and support he is more than willing to give. he's still rather against dalnim becoming an idol, but he understands where she's coming from- he once felt the same thing. the same urge, the same hope, and he genuinely wishes that she'll succeed and climb up so high he'll regret ever telling her to give up.

✾ mother + heo yangim + 55 + doctor + foresightful, pragmatic, inflexible.

yangim still completely disapproves dalnim following the path she's follwing right now, but with haenim supporting dalnim and jiyong's reluctant agreement, she's decided that she'll let dalnim try. one might expect yangim to be calculating and practically ignore dalnim, but in fact she's trying her best to be there for dalnim all the time and helping her younger daughter to survive the journey. it stings that dalnim turns to her dad more than her, but she understands and even though she has a long speech about why dalnim shouldn't pursue this dream tucked under her pillow, she doesn't plan on saying it and is extra gentle when she meets up with her daughter when the latter has days off.

✾ older sister + heo haenim + 21 + student + abrasive, vivacious, altruistic.

haenim is the sun in korean mythology and her sister, dalnim is the moon. the two sisters strikingly remind everyone of the two mythological sisters because haenim is the vibrant sun in everyone's life and dalnim is the regal moon. the two get along but aren't exactly close and definitely don't fulfill any 'sister goals' but haenim cherishes dalnim a lot and loves the younger to bits. dalnim was surprised when haenim helped convince their parents but is incredibly grateful and touched by her sister's gesture and is trying to get closer to her.