just this once

just this once, even though no one cares, I just want to let it out, for this will make my inside rot if i continue on keeping it inside and I don't want that.

why? why does no body is around me when I feel alone? When I'm hurt? When I want to cry? When I want to let out all my frustrations? WHy does nobody's there for me when I'm always there for them? Yeah it's my fault. I don't want them to see me like this because this is not the ME they know, if they saw this weak side of mine everything will be over. I'm always there to comfort them, my shoulders are always ready to be cried on, but there's no one there for me when it is me who needs it. I always hug them, always pat their slouching back and that's what I want now. I give comfort yet no one can give it to me.. .no one, because it's my fault.. .it's my fault I don't show it to them.. .I don't run towards them just like they run towards me.. .I don't say my problems just like they do.. .so I understand.. . 

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yeishanie14 #1
You have your international friends if you feel like you have no one ^^ we're here.
problematicjane #2
And hun, you did the right decision of letting it out. :)
problematicjane #3
:( I may not be much of a help since I know you from the internet, but I can lend you an eye (read).
sleepingprince
#4
I think everyone have their weak side and it takes courage to open up to someone . If you can learn to trust others alittle more and find the right person i think eventually you'l feel more comfortable to share. Dont be too harsh on yourself k. It takes time . Everything is a learning process. I hope you feel better soon.
ivoryy #5
Everyone has their weak side. You don't worry about what ppl think or feel jz bcoz you always show the strong side of you. I'm sure they will understand you. I wish I can hug you now n tell you everything is going to be fine. No matter how hard is your situation right now. Believe me there will always be a reason of why thing happened that way.
Lavenderia #6
Never was your fault and never will be your fault, *sending you a virtual hug* trust them, trust them and it will slightly helps. Sometime people over judge others, especially those who are the strong one, and can't blame the strong one for not showing their emotions too, as a pillar, you ought to be the strongest one. Just show them the vulnerable side you are and I hope everything will be better.
xxVIPxxBLACKJACKxx #7
I'm not really sure if anything I say/write will help ur situation or make u feel better, but I really hope u would stop blaming urself. I get why u would think it's ur fault and maybe in some cases it may be, but I think u should change ur way of thinking. I don't know u so I can't really make comments on anything except what's written on this blog, but I'm sure if u allowed someone u trust to see the weak/vulnerable u, then they would be willing to be ur shoulder to cry on. Everyone has a weak side no matter how strong they may seem on the outside. Ur just human...