Hello!

This is part 4. I would suggest you read parts 1, 2, and 3 first.

Lets continue...

After I accidently sent it, I couldn't deal with myself and did the one thing I knew I couldn't screw up and I went to sleep. The next morning while I was in class about 9-10 I got a notification saying that he replied and I was dying internally! I didn't want to open the message now because I was in class... But I wanted to know what his reply was. Later that afternoon when all my classes were done... I finally opened the message. 

The following is a detailed thought analysis of bits of the text messages that followed.

Me: I like you.

Him: that caught me by surprise. In what sense do you mean.

Yes, that was his reply... Of course I meant in a romantic way! Why would someone send something like I like you (like a friend) to someone in the middle of the night to someone who you don't chat with often! But anyways I took the meaning of the text like he didn't feel the same way and so he was kind of trying to let me be able to brush it off as friends.

Me: it can be interpreted how you want.

I meant it in a if you want me to like you romantically then it's the romantic kind. If you want it to be interpreted as friends then it's we were friends.

Him: ha ha ok I get it but how do you expect this to work?

This killed me inside... There were so many part. Firstly... It sounds like to me he didn't think it would work (which I also believed in kind of) and secondly it sounded like he wasn't planning on thinking of a plan together to make it work. He said "you". Sometimes I think that I would have reacted differently if he had said something like- how can we make this work. Things may have ended differently. But alas the young hurt me replied quickly without thought...

Me: I don't know. It was never supposed to so

Me: sorry.

And I honestly believe it wasn't supposed to work if that was what his response way. It would have been a long distance relationship and social media would be a big part of the relationship and I didn't believe it would have worked if took a week for someone to reply to a message.

The next part isn't all that important so I'll just give a summary. Basically it involves me explaining what I had been feeling about him for some time and ends with me asking if we can still be friends. But that when I went back and just read the message and then I saw something the second time reading it that at the time the hurt me did not see...

'But how do you expect THIS to work.'

Wait a second what did he mean THIS?!

I asked him what did he mean by 'how do you expect this to work' but he didn't answer that! He just continued with my previous message about staying friends and ignored my attempt to clarify the meaning of THIS.

I didn't know what I should make of his lack of reply to what THIS means. But I knew at the time whatever this was, it wasn't anymore. I wouldn't say I was heart broken because I had gone into this kind of expecting a rejection so I had already prepared myself for months. And so I moved on and eventually got into Kpop and I don't think I need to explain anymore... But still from time to time I would think of the conversations we had, was there a note? What did THIS mean? 

What do you guys think THIS meant?

To be continued in the final conclusion.