憧れ : 금겨울 / ONE SIDED CONFLICT
< 憧れ / 금겨울 >
hey, summer. I still can't believe that winter is the one seeing summer off. I miss you, I love you, I love you, I love you, and I'm so, so sorry for what I have done and will do. but I love you, summer, I really do. even though you were selfish and almost killed us all and just like the little you were you thought the world only revolved you but summer you're beautiful you're kind and so lovely and I love you I love you I love you I love you I hate you I hate you I hate you I-- I don't know, summer, I don't know.
< / face 01 > 정수정 (jung soojung of f(x))
< / face 02 > 이지은 (lee jieun, soloist)
< / prsnlty >
infj the advocate
外 insightful, decisive, determined, passionate, altruistic, benevolent
sensitive, secretive, perfetionistic, impatient, bumptious, deceitful 內
外 insightful, decisive, determined, passionate, altruistic, benevolent
sensitive, secretive, perfetionistic, impatient, bumptious, deceitful 內
gyeoul is an enigma, a walking puzzle of grace and elegance that many fail to crack. walking with a sense of pride with her head held high, gyeoul is the girl who you'd bestow with the cliché name 'ice princess'. and like every other cliché being — but hey, cliché things don't happen without a blueprint — underneath the rock hard exterior lies a heart of gold. or at least, it's usually gold.
gyeoul is someone who's not good at expressing herself, and doesn't feel the need to speak up. these two factors encourage her to pretty much not speak, and since she's cursed with a resting face, many find her very unapprochable. however, those who know her well know that gyeoul is anything but that. warm words and a motherly demeanor sum up her tranquil presence and she's like the caring but not overbearing mother friend we all need in our life. calm and composed all the time without a hair not in place, there is a reason why gyeoul is always top three in her grade.
however, one more layer lies underneath all that, and that is the gyeoul who isn't as angelic or benevolent as her friends see her. truth to be told, gyeoul is incredibly two-faced, and a good actress as well. because of he perfectionistic nature she tends to nitpick at lots of things, but even when she's dissatisfied she doesn't speak up and let things be. but that only makes her disapproval stack up and hence lots of people are people she dislike. she's just very good at masking it all, and she'd still smile warmly around those she downright hates, her smile not dropping even after the other person's left. no one, not even yeoreum, knows how gyeoul feels about everyone around her...except.... him.
gyeoul is someone who's not good at expressing herself, and doesn't feel the need to speak up. these two factors encourage her to pretty much not speak, and since she's cursed with a resting face, many find her very unapprochable. however, those who know her well know that gyeoul is anything but that. warm words and a motherly demeanor sum up her tranquil presence and she's like the caring but not overbearing mother friend we all need in our life. calm and composed all the time without a hair not in place, there is a reason why gyeoul is always top three in her grade.
however, one more layer lies underneath all that, and that is the gyeoul who isn't as angelic or benevolent as her friends see her. truth to be told, gyeoul is incredibly two-faced, and a good actress as well. because of he perfectionistic nature she tends to nitpick at lots of things, but even when she's dissatisfied she doesn't speak up and let things be. but that only makes her disapproval stack up and hence lots of people are people she dislike. she's just very good at masking it all, and she'd still smile warmly around those she downright hates, her smile not dropping even after the other person's left. no one, not even yeoreum, knows how gyeoul feels about everyone around her...except.... him.
< / trivias >
gyeoul usually dresses in warm autumn colours and hates showing skin, and so tends to throw a jacket on whatever the temperature.
she hates reckless drivers.she hates yeoreum.
gyeoul has always been the top three of her grade ever since she was in elementary school. even if she dropped out of the top three ( that happened once, she had a fever during the exams and fell to number eleven ) she'd still be in the upper quartile.
what's funny is that it's not her parents forcing her to be so... perfect in everyone's eyes. it's just gyeoul, loving the compliments and attention. as a child she was praised for her looks and got addicted to the pleasure she felt from compliments.
she may not say it, but she notices everything that happens with the gang. she sees through everyone who pretends to be strong.
she wants to delete all the pictures that she's ever taken with yeoreum and all the selfies yeoreum's ever taken on her phone, but every time her finger hovers over the delete button and chooses cancel instead.
there is no denying she has always been the odd one out of the group and yeoreum was the weak glue.
you know why I shoudn't rush apps? I caN'T ThiNk oF trIViA.
gyeoul usually dresses in warm autumn colours and hates showing skin, and so tends to throw a jacket on whatever the temperature.
she hates reckless drivers.
gyeoul has always been the top three of her grade ever since she was in elementary school. even if she dropped out of the top three ( that happened once, she had a fever during the exams and fell to number eleven ) she'd still be in the upper quartile.
what's funny is that it's not her parents forcing her to be so... perfect in everyone's eyes. it's just gyeoul, loving the compliments and attention. as a child she was praised for her looks and got addicted to the pleasure she felt from compliments.
she may not say it, but she notices everything that happens with the gang. she sees through everyone who pretends to be strong.
she wants to delete all the pictures that she's ever taken with yeoreum and all the selfies yeoreum's ever taken on her phone, but every time her finger hovers over the delete button and chooses cancel instead.
there is no denying she has always been the odd one out of the group and yeoreum was the weak glue.
you know why I shoudn't rush apps? I caN'T ThiNk oF trIViA.
< / cnnctns >
yeoreum loves gyeoul. she loves the latter with all her heart and sees gyeoul to be her closest friend ( or her second closest, depending on the story ) and tries her best to bring gyeoul into the group, even if gyeoul is always the odd one out. being the motherly person she was, gyeoul was the one who volunteered to take yeoreum around the school on the former's first day, and they just... clicked. or so yeoreum thought. in all honesty, gyeoul doesn't even know what she feels about yeoreum. she knows that her feelings to yeoreum are genuine love, but sometimes she just can't help but feel a flare of jealousy and a flash of hatred at just how yeoreum seems to be so perfect and happy and she hates the fact that when she's with yeoreum, the attention is always on yeoreum instead of her. it doesn't help that yeoreum always acts lovey dovey with jungyu in front of gyeoul. gyeoul loves yeoreum, she supposes, but there are more than just specks of hatred sprinkled throughout.
gyeoul loves jungyu. the thought of having an affair with her closest friend's boyfriend had never crossed her mind before, albeit the fact that gyeoul did find jungyu rather attractive. that was it for them. but when yeoreum and gyeoul were at a party and the former had a sudden high and became incredibly drunk, gyeoul had no idea how to bring her back home. in a frenzy, she called jungyu to pick them up. it was a mistake. during the car ride home, they chatted, and with a sick feeling in her stomach gyeoul realised that the two had similar interests and would be very compatible. she pretended not to notice jungyu taking the longer route and driving in circles before proclaiming he was lost. by the end of the car ride gyeoul was horribly attracted and before she knew it jungyu had leaned over and kissed her, with yeoreum still lying on the back seat. she, no, they both felt guilty, but gyeoul loved the euphoria and couldn't help but keep contacting jungyu and further their relationship. jungyu loves gyeoul but can never bring himself to break it off with yeoreum- he has affinity for the girl but understands that all he feels is what a brother would feel for his younger sister. however, every time he sees yeoreum smiling at him with crescents as her eyes he can't bring himself to break her. gyeoul and jungyu met frequently and no, their relationship is not steamy and to be honest, they rarely kiss, but they sit there in each other's arms, gyeoul's head resting on his chest, enjoying the silent reverie.
< / reaction to the "incident" >
fuming as she listened to jungyu and yeoreum. unable to stop a small smile on her face when she felt jungyu's hand entwine with hers for a second. beautiful weather, enchanting sighs. sudden tears. a jolt. pain. wincing as she woke up under the bright lights, nose tingling at the smell of the hospital. waking up and seeing her parents, the rest, and...and jungyu. the last one to wake, she heard them say. last? but-
"where's yeoreum?" her voice is raspy. hurts.
silence. nononononono. she doesn't believe it.
"where's yeoreum?" louder. ah, hurts.
silence. tears are welling up in her eyes. her heart. it feels like it's being clenched and twisted.
she can feel the tear sliding down into her hair. she tries to wipe it away, but pain flashes and her voice catches in .
"don't move. you have broken ribs." jungyu. his voice, it used to be so velvety- it's coarse. he reaches over and holds her hand. their eyes meet. all they feel is guilt. everyone else finds this normal- friends holding each other's hands. but they don't know.
"how could she be so selfish?" mom. "does she not care about the whole car of people?" true. how could her? anger. hatred. jungyu squeezes her hand.
guilt. grief.
she used to love having his hand in hers.
why does it burn now?
"where's yeoreum?" her voice is raspy. hurts.
silence. nononononono. she doesn't believe it.
"where's yeoreum?" louder. ah, hurts.
silence. tears are welling up in her eyes. her heart. it feels like it's being clenched and twisted.
she can feel the tear sliding down into her hair. she tries to wipe it away, but pain flashes and her voice catches in .
"don't move. you have broken ribs." jungyu. his voice, it used to be so velvety- it's coarse. he reaches over and holds her hand. their eyes meet. all they feel is guilt. everyone else finds this normal- friends holding each other's hands. but they don't know.
"how could she be so selfish?" mom. "does she not care about the whole car of people?" true. how could her? anger. hatred. jungyu squeezes her hand.
guilt. grief.
she used to love having his hand in hers.
why does it burn now?
< / how are they after "the incident" >
gyeoul has just been how she always has been. calm, composed, unruffled. but everyone notices the dreary aura around her. she acts like everything's fine, pents up her emotions, and jungyu and her keep meeting up. when they're together, arms around each other, it's the only time gyeoul feels that she can let the tears flow. he pats her head and peppers her with butterfly kisses as his own tears fall, and feels so guilty and she wants to break away from him but she can't she can't she can't she can't she loves this feeling and oh god she hates herself.
< / what were they doing before it happened >
jungyu and gyeoul were in the back seat, with jungyu in the middle and gyeoul on the left. yeoreum had originally wanted him to be in seat next to her, but his eyes met with gyeoul and he told yeoreum that he'd just take up the seat everyone else hates.
all along the trip the couple's playful banter has the car groaning and telling them to shut up, and gyeoul's tears well up. she blinks and hurriedly looks out the window, hating hersef, hating yeoreum, hating yeoreum, yeoreum, yeoreum, then a familar hand holds her and the feelings are gone.
the hand slides away but she's immune now, she blocks their banter, she plays her role of being the introverted odd one out, she glances forward and frowns slightly at how remarkably shiny yeoreum's eyes are -she must be so happy with jungyu but no why are tears rolling down her face why is the car going so fast oh lord oh lord -
how could I not notice?
all along the trip the couple's playful banter has the car groaning and telling them to shut up, and gyeoul's tears well up. she blinks and hurriedly looks out the window, hating hersef, hating yeoreum, hating yeoreum, yeoreum, yeoreum, then a familar hand holds her and the feelings are gone.
the hand slides away but she's immune now, she blocks their banter, she plays her role of being the introverted odd one out, she glances forward and frowns slightly at how remarkably shiny yeoreum's eyes are -she must be so happy with jungyu but no why are tears rolling down her face why is the car going so fast oh lord oh lord -
how could I not notice?
< / commnts > ha.....haha......ha....ha
< / questns > why is this so bad and why am I even trying
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